Light up the 12th house

[Miharo]

Hello beautiful souls,

I wonder if anybody is in the mood for a 12th house thread?

Given the name of this forum and this section, this astrological house corresponds quite well with the spiritual theme.

Would love to read your thoughts, feelings and experiences on all 12th house matters.

Planets, signs, transits.. anything.

[Miharo]

I’ll simply start and share my personal view on this house, given from experiences and exchanges with people I know who have 12th house placements.

The 12th house can mean many things, depending from which perspective you look at it.

Depending on your chart, people with planets in the 12th or aspects feel and live the energies and themes of this house more throughout their life.

You can see it as a trash bin where all our not so beautiful sides and tendencies are thrown in and kept hidden from ourselves and others:
fears, weaknesses, addictions, hidden motives, secrets, self harm tendencies, unconscious pattern and beliefs, projections, paranoia, mental health issues, selfishness, self pity, self loathing, self undoing and so on..

You can also look at it as the direct doorway to all your hidden gifts and talents, the highest version of yourself, your connection to the hidden realms behind this physical reality, your connection and way back home to source.

Depending on your point of view, you can feel lost and doomed or realize how protected and blessed you are.

Often you may experience both sides, first sitting in your trash, feeling wrong and wronged by all existence, projecting your stuff on others and others projecting their trash on you.

This can go on for a while. Usually until you exhausted all the ways in which you can play this game of throwing trash back and forth. And see that there is only one way left.. to get to work by looking at and digging through that bin.

Depending on where you stand and how big that trash bin is, you can work it out by yourself or find ways to get help if you feel you need it.
Usually life is always sending you exactly what you need, when you decide to get real.

Working through your stuff, slowly the hidden beauty in it will be revealed.
Connection and compassion
You may realize that the underlying feeling of disconnection triggered all the ****ty ways you behaved and understand that others suffered the same. This humbling realization will unlock the most beautiful, pure feelings this house will show you in yourself.
Compassion and unconditional love.

People with heavy 12th house placements usually either feel very connected to the divine or long to go home, to reconnect with all there is.

Some may walk the ‘high road’ from early on, being passionate about all things unseen, spiritual knowledge and matters.

Others feel the pain of the illusionary disconnection from source so deep, they crawl through life for a long time before being able to stand up.

Overall they are all highly empathic persons and deeply care for others.

Being energetically open, they simply feel their environments all the time.
Needless to say they need time alone.

[Gemini46]

Originally Posted by Miharo

I’ll simply start and share my personal view on this house, given from experiences and exchanges with people I know who have 12th house placements.

The 12th house can mean many things, depending from which perspective you look at it.

Depending on your chart, people with planets in the 12th or aspects feel and live the energies and themes of this house more throughout their life.

You can see it as a trash bin where all our not so beautiful sides and tendencies are thrown in and kept hidden from ourselves and others:
fears, weaknesses, addictions, hidden motives, secrets, self harm tendencies, unconscious pattern and beliefs, projections, paranoia, mental health issues, selfishness, self pity, self loathing, self undoing and so on..

You can also look at it as the direct doorway to all your hidden gifts and talents, the highest version of yourself, your connection to the hidden realms behind this physical reality, your connection and way back home to source.

Depending on your point of view, you can feel lost and doomed or realize how protected and blessed you are.

Often you may experience both sides, first sitting in your trash, feeling wrong and wronged by all existence, projecting your stuff on others and others projecting their trash on you.

This can go on for a while. Usually until you exhausted all the ways in which you can play this game of throwing trash back and forth. And see that there is only one way left.. to get to work by looking at and digging through that bin.

Depending on where you stand and how big that trash bin is, you can work it out by yourself or find ways to get help if you feel you need it.
Usually life is always sending you exactly what you need, when you decide to get real.

Working through your stuff, slowly the hidden beauty in it will be revealed.
Connection and compassion
You may realize that the underlying feeling of disconnection triggered all the ****ty ways you behaved and understand that others suffered the same. This humbling realization will unlock the most beautiful, pure feelings this house will show you in yourself.
Compassion and unconditional love.

People with heavy 12th house placements usually either feel very connected to the divine or long to go home, to reconnect with all there is.

Some may walk the ‘high road’ from early on, being passionate about all things unseen, spiritual knowledge and matters.

Others feel the pain of the illusionary disconnection from source so deep, they crawl through life for a long time before being able to stand up.

Overall they are all highly empathic persons and deeply care for others.

Being energetically open, they simply feel their environments all the time.
Needless to say they need time alone.

Miharo,

Your description is beautiful and accurate. I was very excited to see this thread. You have no idea how long I have wanted to have an actual discussion about this house. I didn't want to pay to talk to someone though, and very few people seem to know much about it, let alone have an opinion and interest in it!

The 12th house affects me very intimately. I have my Gemini Moon in the 12th house. If that doesn't sound fun enough, I was born on a full moon. So my moon is opposite my Sag Sun. I also have a Sagittarius stellium with mercury, saturn, uranus as well. Saturn, uranus & Sun all conjunct each other and sit opposite my moon. She also forms a square with my pisces mars/jupiter conjunction as well as my pisces midheaven. And a close conjunction with retrograde gemini chiron. Anyway, my moon is very active but as you can see there are no easy placements to even out the hard aspects.

It is exactly how you described. My greatest gift and my greatest curse at the same time.

I am a very intuitive individual as it is. I do what I feel even if it makes no logical sense. I understand what I am doing. I have tried time and time again to do this the way I am "supposed" to, but every time is just another realization that the "right" way is the wrong way & I need to stop being stupid & just listen to myself lol.

As intuitive as I am though, this placement has manifested itself into several different severe mental disorders that affect my life significantly. Somedays I cannot distinguish between intuition & psychosis. Even if I am positive something I am experiencing is a symptom of my illnesses, I cannot always control how my mind processes the 12th house energies.

For instance, last week I had a 2 hour job about 30mins from my house. There is a doggie daycare right by my house that I have brought my 10mo doggie to a handful of times over the last month. I only like bringing her for a half day because she is ready to leave after a few hours, an entire day would be a waste of money. This doggie is my heart and soul, my baby girl & I have put everything into making sure her well being is the most essential thing, I am sure I overdo it sometimes and have to make sure I consider myself sometimes. I suffered severe emotional neglect & abuse before I was even born. Neglect by my mother & both emotional & physical abuse (although more emotional than anything) by my father. By my own mother's account, she was incredibly distraught when she became pregnant with me. She was on birth control & while I am sure my mother wanted kids, she did not want them with my father who never wanted any kids period. So like any couple in a failing, incompatible & doomed relationship, they did the rational thing and got married (in Vegas! Impulsively..) Then they moved back home, bought a house together. had my sister (also unintentionally) at 2 & divorced for good at 3. There are alot of pictures of me as a newborn in boy clothes as a baby since my ma was convinced I was going to be a boy..she really wanted her 1st to be a boy & my pops also preferred a boy. And everyone told her that a mother knows. She didn't find out I was a girl til I was born. Lol, a friend once said "tsk tsk..a disappointment from the start" :-P Anyway I was bottle fed because I didn't take to my mother. I had colic as a baby & my dad wanted nothing to do with me. My ma said she often just left me at the house for a few hours so she could get away from the crying. Once she left me with my dad and came home to me locked in the bedroom closet and my dad watching TV with the sound blaring. Its easy to forget that even though babies don't consciously remember anything, they are going through subconscious programming that will affect them their entire life. So babies absorb their environment. They can feel the relationship between the parents. Feeling love and stability between them wires their brain & they recognize that instinctively and that sets them up for healthy relationship. Not having parents who are emotionally invested or connected to their baby, their brains don't wire themselves to recognize what the other baby is able to. When one baby cries and their needs are met they are being programmed to trust their environment. It creates a sense of belonging in that person which leads to confidence and a strong sense of self. They are able to handle emotions in a healthy manner. This is innate to them. While another baby's cries go unanswered, this is obviously going to mess them up with some funky wiring. Its like the baby is being programmed to believe its them against the world & their left to figure things out for themselves. I always had my basic needs met. I always had a roof over my head, food in my belly & a place to rest my head at night. But emotionally I never really stood a chance, :-P. I was plagued by night terrors and nightmares ever since I can remember. Many being completely irrational like I was terrified of dinosaurs at night. I always thought a tree was going to rip the roof off my house and eat me. But at the same time I was absolutly fascinated by them. I had toys, books, I remember watching the dinosaur bit in fantasia obsessively. I was also afraid a shark was going to swim up the stairs and eat me. I vaguely remember, while my parents were still together, a design in my bedroom fan that I saw as an odd looking man that I found scary and I would see him come out of the fan and move around me in an unsettling way. He never hurt me or said anything, just creepy. My parents couldn't figure out what I was saying and I guess just summed it up as being a tantrum or something and left me to cry it out. It does confuse me a bit because I remember I was in a crib because something was keeping me from getting my butt out of their. I don't remember my sister being their but I do remember when she was born I was at the store with my grandparents and I picked out a little pink teddy bear to give to my new baby sister. I was 2 at the time so sometimes it confuses me that I can recall anything at that age.

ANYWAYS! Sorry to go off on a tangent, lol. To get back to the original point.. I do not want children and haven't for sometime. Especially not my own biological ones for fear of them having similar problems. Not a chance I could do that. Plus there are so many premade ones needing love. This is only my opinion, I don't mean to offend anyone but I believe one of the reasons people prefer to have their own flesh & blood children is ego. I'm probably being ignorant, I can't fully grasp what its like to have kids & I truly admire those who do because I don't think I could do it and it takes alot to sacrifice your own wants for your child. But I channel my maternal instincts into my dogs. I understand them and they are my heart so that is just my purpose in life. Because of my upbringing I am so fixed on the well being of my best friend. It has paid off as she is just a wonderful doggie, it is unreal. She has a wonderful temperament as it is and I have made sure to keep it that way. I have got nothing but compliments on her and even disbelief from the start. To be fair, alot of it is just her, she's just a great dog. But I like to think I played a part in nurturing these traits. She plays a huge part in my own well being.

So after I dropped her off at the place I start to go to my job and start getting very paranoid that something might happen to her. Just couldn't focus. That morning I meant to bring one of my meds with me as a precaution but realized I forgot them. I typically only take these at night but I guess I was already starting the paranoia before I left. I eventually canceled the job last minute & incurred a $40 fee..more than the job itself. Plus I am really struggling financially so it seems beyond stupid to blow of a job, throw $40 dollars out the window + the 30 for the job. 70 bucks I did not have and need very much. Also hurting my ratings and risking being able to use this platform to get anymore work. But none of that mattered because it wasn't worth the risk. I have also learned that even crazy fear based thoughts serve some sort of intuitive purpose. Well I turned around, went back and told them some story about I forgot what day it was and needed to get my dog. They didn't charge me and my dog got 45 minutes of free playtime so it worked out..kinda. Plus my former boss (& my TF) contacted me the next day and asked me to pick up some cars with him for his business and paid me alot more to basically hang out with one of my best friends :-)

But my point is that the disorders that can be explained by my moon placement have been very disruptive in every aspect of my life. I have literally had hundreds of jobs throughout my life. I leave impulsively without thought if the mood strikes me. Sometimes I can hold off the inevitable but I eventually bail. I rarely think twice. I have up and left in the middle of ringing up a customer. I have gotten W2s before with pennies. As I would clock in right before realizing I wasn't going to stay. But on the flip side I would almost always have another job..sometimes 2..by the end of the day. I am a big weirdo. But its just who I am & the very few ppl in my life have just accepted it.

I stayed with my ex-husband for years longer than I should have because I needed some form of stability even if it was an absolute nightmare. While he was aware I was sick I don't think he fully understood it, especially since I was in denial for a few years. My inability to function was met with anger. My grasp on reality from basically 2013 - 2016 was almost nonexistant. When I now think about what my belief of reality was during that time, I cannot even fully explain how my mind functioned then. It was isolating and any attempt at getting help, I turned to both my ex-husband & my mother for help. I asked my ex to put me on his insurance so I could get treatment, which he refused to do because it cost too much (it didnt..) and I had no way of paying for it since I was too sick to work. I then asked my mom for money to see a doctor (we barely spoke during that time. Not out of anger, just neither of us was interested in talking to the other.) She told me I should be going to my husband for that. I told her what he said and she sided with him. So that was basically that. I didn't think to get state funded insurance (which i have now) as I wasn't familiar with it, it didn't cross my mind. Plus nobody had suggested it so I pretty much continued business as usual.

5 years ago today I had a breakdown and started screaming at the top of my lungs, to no one in particular I was at home alone, for someone to get up off their butt an help me. Like screaming it, I started to just bash my head on the wall, because, why not? I got up still sobbing and heard a voice telling me very calm and rational to get a full time job & get on some medicine. For whatever reason everything just made sense. I had been trying for months to do just that but this voice...he seemed to have it together. The intent and the heart for this was to leave my ex and find a place to rent as I had finally reached capacity for the nonsense and suffering I was enduring in my current situation.

Once this voice gave me the obvious solution to my problems, everything in an instant shifted from head bashing, screaming & crying to complete peace. It was like nothing I experienced, I felt like something higher took control and led me by the hand to where I needed to be.

I know I am all over the place right now, I have a habit of tangenting off, but I figure all of this is 12th house related. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2011, it was the very early stages. I was an addict and completely consumed by my addictions at that time & I honestly had no idea then just how lucky I am to be alive. The first time I started hearing voices scared me and got me on the right track. I got myself into rehab where I was diagnosed and stayed on medicine for about a year, year and a half. Since then I have been to the hospital about 4 times. I spent a month in the mental hospital in summer 2016 where I was diagnosed as having bipolar with psychosis. That episode added a new sort of fear into my awareness and I havent really overcome the aftershock. I had symptoms of ptsd (not diagnosed..just my own explanation) for a few years that have subsided but there is still that imprint that can get to me at times. My most recent hospital visit was back in late june/early July where I stayed in the hospital for 3 days..managed to weasel my way out of going to the mental hospital but I am still stabilizing from that.

I could go on and on about my 12th house moon but I have definitely droned on longer than I wanted. You get the idea though...12th house moon = emotional baggage. I don't know if their is another way it could be. While a pleasantly aspected 12th house moon is probably much different than my own, I dont believe it is a placement that is going to be easy to navigate period. I would think such a person would have a much more clear channel for the psychic traits of this house to be expressed.

As much as I hate my moon, I love it 100x as much & wouldn't trade it for anything. I absorb everyone's emotions and have trouble separating them from my own. I am extremely sensitive to the subtleties of my environment that it can drive me crazy. I am very tuned in to people and can feel what they feel & think when interacting with me and it is incredibly uncomfortable. I am very quiet most of the time..not shy..just quiet. Interactions take alot out of me. However I almost always create a strong reaction in people just by simply being around them. When I was younger..this was a source of strength for others. Emotionally I am there to strengthen people. I have learned how to use it for its intention without hurting me so much, but growing up it felt as if I had the ability to build people up..but not intentionally, Others would just take what they wanted at my expense, draining me so I would have to retreat into myself either for protection or to refuel.

Its not as common anymore but I have always had a tendency to fall into a pool of self pity. Woe is me. When it comes to dogs and very young children...my heart is always full of nothing but unconditional self sacrificing love, any story where one of them is suffering can damn near kill me no matter how deep I am in my own pain. But other than those 2...I feel very little, if anything, for grown adults suffering. I am not proud of these moments but I can become so blinded by my own emotional and mental suffering that I look at a majority of stories of suffering (emotional i mean..physical is awhole different subject that I would never in a million years want ANYONE even the worst to experience. Its barbaric, I can't wrap my head around it. I'm not a saint...I will smash certain bugs if they are in my home. But it is the most important thing that its instantaneous, I can't even bear that. I don't want them to hurt..just want them outta my room.

But I can become so detached emotionally that some emotional suffering stories I find laughable. I am always disgusted with myself once I stop with the self pity and know I am just different emotionally & I need to understand that.

But as cold as I can be when I am experiencing these periods (usually no more than a few hours) of intense, overwhelming suffering, it is nothing compared to the unconditional love I am capable off. I have a tendency to beat myself up but I have a beautiful heart, and I am a beautiful soul who wants nothing more than an end to all the suffering & greed that has consumed this planet. I never try and tear anyone down, I want to bring out the beauty and potential in everyone I meet. I think about people in great depth, I almost always forget myself while trying to help others. My good intentions have come back to bite me, been ignored, taken for granted, misread and credited to other people at times which can hurt but w/e.

I am not sure if I have ever had a true human connection before. I tend to guard myself and still don't completely trust anyone no matter how much they have proven to be worth it. I just cant yet. I will try to sabotage most relationships or I will completely just drop friends silently the second they show me that the friendship isnt equal. It is second nature to me. In alot of ways I have found my strength this way. You find out who is worth fighting for and who needs to move on.

I have great emotional strength though. Something I should never take for granted.

I'm gonna stop here, never know what I am going to say but the 12th house is the house I am most familiar with so if anything I can act as a guide for those lost in there, or about to move in.

If you made it this far then I would absolutely love to hear anything you have to say on this topic to be honest. You seem to be very knowledgeable about it & have the interest. I need someone like that to act as an outside voice who knows what they are talking about.

[Gemini46]

Originally Posted by Miharo

Hello beautiful souls,

I wonder if anybody is in the mood for a 12th house thread?

Given the name of this forum and this section, this astrological house corresponds quite well with the spiritual theme.

Would love to read your thoughts, feelings and experiences on all 12th house matters.

Planets, signs, transits.. anything.

I just noticed you created this thread on my b-day

[Miharo]

Originally Posted by Gemini46

I just noticed you created this thread on my b-day

Hello Gemini64,

happy belated birthday to you! May you have a blessed and shining year ahead!

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences.
You have been through quite something.

Overall I think you have analyzed yourself well, which speaks for the traits of your moon, and his sign ruler mercury aspecting it.
I would always consider the rulership of the planets when looking at a chart. It can get complicated, but with time and experience it is more accurate.
Mercury ruling your 12th and 3rd, sitting in the 6th, looking together with the sun ( who rules your family upbringing) at the 12th.. I think you get the idea.

A lot of mental energy going on, affecting your emotions and overall health.
At the same time it is a blessing also, as you are able to see that clearly about yourself.

Many refer to the 12th as a house of losses, and it is true to some degree. But it’s not that doomed.
Losses here I like to refer as loss of energies.
Like, whatever planet sits there and dependent on what houses it rules, you invest a lot of energy in these themes.
So in your case it’s the ascendant ruler.
I never see the ascendant as the ‘mask’ some like to refer to as.
It is very much a direct expression of yourself, your overall health and it sets the tone how you experience and manage your whole life. It rules also the head and shows what brings you peace of mind.
So you are consuming a lot of mental and emotional energies. Which then influences your overall health (mental and emotional).
If overdone you may feel you lose (12th house) yourself (1st house), as so much energy is invested , ‘lost’.

So without zooming further into details as this takes too much time.

Overall I would say:
Having a full 6th house, your health and learning to manage the day to day life is the biggest theme.
So you are on the right way as you are already working on health.
As the focus on the 6th can get overwhelming, what can balance you is the 12th.

So when it gets to much, 12th house stuff like rest, taking time alone, nurturing and mothering yourself ( ! very important with the moon here) , investing energy in some kind of spiritual interest that brings you peace, travelling to foreign places can balance the pressure of this 6th house physical life matters.

Also all Gemini subjects which may bring you joy, exploring interests you have, being creative through writing, communication, short distance travel, fun, childlike themes.. Gemini is a very happy, young and often just being silly energy. Allow yourself to be that and to explore it, you got to little or none of this as a child maybe.

With any planet in the 12th, this people usually didn’t get to experience the planets theme.
So you weren’t nurtured like you would have needed it.
You need to nurture yourself as you would have wished your mom did.
You need to be the most kindest in the way you think about yourself and treat yourself. Give the compassionate love that is always in you also back to yourself.

As for work, of course there are many points to look at to be able to pinpoint it exactly..
But if Pieces is your 10th house it would explain the many changes. Remember Pisces is the original 12th, so nothing you start will last long.. it’s always dissolving and changing. Just go with the flow.
As you love animals so much ( which btw is a 6th house matter) jobs involving anything to do with pets could suit you well..
If Jupiter, ruling your 6th, is in the 10th, it would fit quite well.. and Jupiter is exalted.
I read somewhere the 6th-12th axis is all about serving or suffering.

So what ultimately brings you joy and peace I think would be to be of service, for your highest good and that of others in your day to day life..

But then again.. that is valid for anyone I guess.

Again, I’m not an astrologer.. this is all my personal impression.
You take what resonates with you and throw the rest away.. hope somethings may serve you as an outside perspective..

[Gemini46]

Originally Posted by Miharo

Hello Gemini64,

happy belated birthday to you! May you have a blessed and shining year ahead!

Thank you for sharing your personal experiences.
You have been through quite something.

Overall I think you have analyzed yourself well, which speaks for the traits of your moon, and his sign ruler mercury aspecting it.
I would always consider the rulership of the planets when looking at a chart. It can get complicated, but with time and experience it is more accurate.
Mercury ruling your 12th and 3rd, sitting in the 6th, looking together with the sun ( who rules your family upbringing) at the 12th.. I think you get the idea.

A lot of mental energy going on, affecting your emotions and overall health.
At the same time it is a blessing also, as you are able to see that clearly about yourself.

Many refer to the 12th as a house of losses, and it is true to some degree. But it’s not that doomed.
Losses here I like to refer as loss of energies.
Like, whatever planet sits there and dependent on what houses it rules, you invest a lot of energy in these themes.
So in your case it’s the ascendant ruler.
I never see the ascendant as the ‘mask’ some like to refer to as.
It is very much a direct expression of yourself, your overall health and it sets the tone how you experience and manage your whole life. It rules also the head and shows what brings you peace of mind.
So you are consuming a lot of mental and emotional energies. Which then influences your overall health (mental and emotional).
If overdone you may feel you lose (12th house) yourself (1st house), as so much energy is invested , ‘lost’.

So without zooming further into details as this takes too much time.

Overall I would say:
Having a full 6th house, your health and learning to manage the day to day life is the biggest theme.
So you are on the right way as you are already working on health.
As the focus on the 6th can get overwhelming, what can balance you is the 12th.

So when it gets to much, 12th house stuff like rest, taking time alone, nurturing and mothering yourself ( ! very important with the moon here) , investing energy in some kind of spiritual interest that brings you peace, travelling to foreign places can balance the pressure of this 6th house physical life matters.

Also all Gemini subjects which may bring you joy, exploring interests you have, being creative through writing, communication, short distance travel, fun, childlike themes.. Gemini is a very happy, young and often just being silly energy. Allow yourself to be that and to explore it, you got to little or none of this as a child maybe.

With any planet in the 12th, this people usually didn’t get to experience the planets theme.
So you weren’t nurtured like you would have needed it.
You need to nurture yourself as you would have wished your mom did.
You need to be the most kindest in the way you think about yourself and treat yourself. Give the compassionate love that is always in you also back to yourself.

As for work, of course there are many points to look at to be able to pinpoint it exactly..
But if Pieces is your 10th house it would explain the many changes. Remember Pisces is the original 12th, so nothing you start will last long.. it’s always dissolving and changing. Just go with the flow.
As you love animals so much ( which btw is a 6th house matter) jobs involving anything to do with pets could suit you well..
If Jupiter, ruling your 6th, is in the 10th, it would fit quite well.. and Jupiter is exalted.
I read somewhere the 6th-12th axis is all about serving or suffering.

So what ultimately brings you joy and peace I think would be to be of service, for your highest good and that of others in your day to day life..

But then again.. that is valid for anyone I guess.

Again, I’m not an astrologer.. this is all my personal impression.
You take what resonates with you and throw the rest away.. hope somethings may serve you as an outside perspective..

Miharo,

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my disorganized ramblings :-P I was very excited to read what all you had to say.

I do not consider myself an expert either, but I have been very passionate about astrology for 8 1/2 years, so I like to think I know what I am talking about. I am constantly learning new things. Even in you response you shined light on a few things I hadnt really heard of before. You are probably alot more knowledgeable than you are aware of. Your post reflects.

I feel I need to explain that my intention was not to attack my parents in my 1st post. I wanted to explain the logic and events behind my moon. I love my parents very much much and do not wish to speak ill of either of them. My father passed in 2016 and I talk to him everyday. I am not angry at him at all, I feel honored to be his daughter. He transformed dramatically & the father I was born with was not the same father that passed away. Him and I are pretty much the same person, good and bad. I know he loved/loves his daughters and like many children, I wished I had listened to him more when he was alive. Yes his actions and his words left scars that I will always carry, but they are scars. I love my physical scars and I love my emotional ones all the more. They remind me of how strong I am and that I can endure alot. The last few years of his life, I was either 26 or 27 I ended up in a conversation, or him talking to me..he liked to talk much more than listen lol. But it ended with him talking about the divine feminine...something he introduced me to at 14/15 after his NDE that sent him in the right direction. He thought this was the most important thing and he made sure I knew my own power. I remember him talking about the women in Islamic countries having to wear these Islamic garbs covering their face because men are terrified of you guys. Terrified. I kinda was like yeah okay w/e Dad at the time. Especially after basically a lifetime of being conditioned to believe the opposite. This conversation had a profound effect on me. It has been a huge source of strength and has shaped me at my core.

As for my ma, I just don't even want to care anymore. Just want to bury the hatchet. I am not upset with her over anything at all from my childhood, just like I am with my dad. I don't carry any sort of resentment when it comes to that. However she stole money and property from my sister and I that we were entitled to when my dad died. I am going to leave it at that though.

I like your opinion of the ascendant. Mask is a rather lazy way to describe it. I like your definition better, is sounds more like what the asc really functions as. It is believed that we tend to display our ascendant alot less (or at least in a different more subtle way) when we get into our 30s. At that time we have a pretty good sense of self and are more confident expressing our sun sign. I have found this true in my case. I am a cancer asc, nothing like my sag core, but ruled by the moon so it was very prominent a good chunk of my life. My moon has always been the Boss. She let's the rest of the floating rocks run the show for the most part, but when she says it is time to go, then we go. She doesn't want control, just peace. But as our ascendants project energy designed to attract certain things. I had a read a really good description of the Ascendant awhile ago that referred to it as the higher self. If we were able to project our sun sign instead and attract using that, it would get tied in with ego. We identify with our sun sign. It just seems kind of messy if ego was left in control. My asc forms a grand trine with my pluto/venus conjunct in scorpio & my mars/jupiter conjunction in pisces. Ik these two play a big part in how my ascendant is perceived. I know these placements are very magnetic, especially the venus & pluto in scorpio. It can attract nice things but typically its uncomfortable. My cancer ascendant is a source of protection I guess. Its working with my moon. Who wants nothing to do with the people that have accidentally gotten caught up in her magnetic field. Its nice for an ego boost i guess but not much else. At least thus far. I have no interest in manifesting a romantic or sexual partner which is pretty much all a venus/pluto scorpio in going to attract. I want to manifest platonic relationships. I want to interact with strength. I want stimulating conversation and people who challenge and inspire me. Those with a healthy sense of self, independent, don't need an emotional crutch. Not looking to me to fill a gap. Doubt my venus is cut out for that job. I need to get my weak butt mercury up and running for that.. -_-

I'm not sure if it matters much but I didn't explain my pisces placements very well. My Jupiter and mars are conjunct in the 9th house around 14°. The 10th begins at 22° pisces. They don't all conjunct each other but the do all form a square with my moon. My 10th house is primarily in Aries. I have my NN in the 10th at 18° - So the nodes are quite involved in the moon & sun/sag stellium's affairs.

I am curious as to what sparked your interest in the 12th? Do you have planets there or know someone who does? Most people have no interest in this house unless it is directly affecting them. That's how I developed an interest in it.

Service & Suffering...I like how that sounds. Sounds like why I came here. After 3 decades of wandering about, looking for reason, I have finally accepted that I'm not really here for me so much, at least in a personal sense. My growth and strength comes when I serve another or suffer for another. I absorb pain as a way to learn & understand emotions the way others do. My logical understanding of emotions has had tremendous healing abilities for two women over the last 2 years. It was through them I realized what I could do. When I learn to use it to its fullest. Needless to say there are certain wounds that are beyond the point of healing. Using logic would be useless, insulting and very tone deaf. Those require spiritual intervention. And that is the one hurting right to find. Purpose, peace, the beacon of light to help guide others on the dark path they found themselves on at one time. Empathy, spirituality, unconditional love. The sacrifice and the strength found along the way. It always helps to remind myself that suffering is not the same as pain. There is hope for everyone though as any and all suffering is capable of transforming into pain. Pain is beautiful, I know I will always be in pain, its always been apart of me as long as I can remember. I would never trade it though. Life without pain would be void of any meaning. We came here to experience pain, to understand it, to return to source. So we are worthy of returning to Eden. Appreciating what we had, what we turned away from. If we knew what we know now, we would have never disobeyed God. But we didn't know, we had to learn what we now know. It is all necessary. Heaven is nothing more than an idea in the here and now. We have yet to build it, Heaven will never truly exist until we are all here together. Unconditional love does not turn its back on anyone. No matter how evil & corrupt. What we don't understand is that not every soul begins their journey with the same chance of finding enlightenment and their way back to source. Just like every baby is born into a unique environment. Some never stand a chance while some are incredibly fortunate. Souls its the same thing. I am a young soul, which is indicated in my chart. My very first incarnation I started with my soul group. All baby souls. We started out as innocent as every other soul with the same ability to become corrupted by evil. Other than the all but completely forgotten memory of their primordial state, the eternal, untouchable energetic blueprint they were created from. They have no other knowledge of what they are searching for. We are always connected to source. We are all programmed with the purpose to return to from which we came.

I learned of my origin and my story through a 6day trance channel back in July. I made no mention of it to anyone but contacted a gifted member here because I couldn't really understand my past lives. I was being introduced to the most recent ones throughout the summer, just out of nowhere unexpected. They basically said exactly what I was told in my trance. (There is alot more than what I mentioned here.) But it more than confirmed what I felt was true.

My young soul group was incredibly fortunate. Are incredibly fortunate.* Every single person on this forum is more fortunate than I think they realize. Whatever, whoever got you to this moment, you are blessed & very well protected. None of us have been corrupted anywhere close to those who know nothing else. They have no way to connect to a soul guide as we know it. I am sure they view the "good" souls as being the evil ones. These people/beings w/e are completely alien to me and out of my realm of understanding. They are more alien than any alien i have ever spoke too. It is impossible for me to grasp what reality is to these souls. I don't believe these souls are bad either..thats all they know. I don't get it, all I know is I want us to find a way to cure them. To bring them over here. I want to know their story. They have access to knowledge that none of us will ever have. I don't feel a soul like that has come into existence as of yet. I believe this is yet to come & will be a first for the entire collective involved in this universe.

But thats just what I believe :-P I think it is time for me to come back to earth though.

A final thought, I mentioned astrology and soul age. It is believed that retrograde planets are a good indicator of soul age. Not 100% sure how I feel about that but I have so far found it to make perfect sense. Retro= older. My chart has 0 retrograde planets & besides chiron, none of my other asteroids are retro. While I am a young soul, I am also part of a soul group of very old souls. Chiron is funny in that it really isn't that significant in our lives unless in hard aspect to other points & planets. The conjunction is the most powerful, like it is with anything else. Some astrologers only really take the conjunction into consideration but idk. Anyway I feel this is my link back home.

[Miharo]

Hello again Gemini46,

I’m happy for you if you found something interesting in what I wrote.

I don’t think that you attacked your parents in your first post, it’s all good. You just told your perspective.
Me mentioning the moon here representing nurturing energy wasn’t intended to judge your mother, I apologize if it came out that way.
It was meant in that way that you, as the one with this placement, may have felt a lack in regards to feeling nurtured.

As I wrote in my first answer , I already got the impression that you have quite some knowledge yourself about astrology.

Excuse me if I don’t start now on all the other placements you mentioned, as this would mean to really take the whole chart apart.
In my humble opinion I’m not that good at that.
I know something about houses, planets and rulership and a little bit about aspects.
But I have never looked into Chiron, retrograde and soul ages indications.

The 12th house is interesting for me because yes, I have planets here and I have friends with placements here and we like to exchange a bit..

When I was younger I took astrology more seriously, but with time I detached from it more as I don’t like it to define everything to the core.
It’s us who decide what we make with those given impulses, I don’t believe in a ‘bad’ placement that dooms your whole life.

For further exploration.. You surely heard of Vedic Astrology. After exploring Western and somehow getting bored of it, I found the Vedic one which looks much deeper into stuff.
Maybe you like to try it out.
I like combining both.

Originally Posted by Gemini46

Miharo,

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my disorganized ramblings :-P I was very excited to read what all you had to say.

I do not consider myself an expert either, but I have been very passionate about astrology for 8 1/2 years, so I like to think I know what I am talking about. I am constantly learning new things. Even in you response you shined light on a few things I hadnt really heard of before. You are probably alot more knowledgeable than you are aware of. Your post reflects.

I feel I need to explain that my intention was not to attack my parents in my 1st post. I wanted to explain the logic and events behind my moon. I love my parents very much much and do not wish to speak ill of either of them. My father passed in 2016 and I talk to him everyday. I am not angry at him at all, I feel honored to be his daughter. He transformed dramatically & the father I was born with was not the same father that passed away. Him and I are pretty much the same person, good and bad. I know he loved/loves his daughters and like many children, I wished I had listened to him more when he was alive. Yes his actions and his words left scars that I will always carry, but they are scars. I love my physical scars and I love my emotional ones all the more. They remind me of how strong I am and that I can endure alot. The last few years of his life, I was either 26 or 27 I ended up in a conversation, or him talking to me..he liked to talk much more than listen lol. But it ended with him talking about the divine feminine...something he introduced me to at 14/15 after his NDE that sent him in the right direction. He thought this was the most important thing and he made sure I knew my own power. I remember him talking about the women in Islamic countries having to wear these Islamic garbs covering their face because men are terrified of you guys. Terrified. I kinda was like yeah okay w/e Dad at the time. Especially after basically a lifetime of being conditioned to believe the opposite. This conversation had a profound effect on me. It has been a huge source of strength and has shaped me at my core.

As for my ma, I just don't even want to care anymore. Just want to bury the hatchet. I am not upset with her over anything at all from my childhood, just like I am with my dad. I don't carry any sort of resentment when it comes to that. However she stole money and property from my sister and I that we were entitled to when my dad died. I am going to leave it at that though.

I like your opinion of the ascendant. Mask is a rather lazy way to describe it. I like your definition better, is sounds more like what the asc really functions as. It is believed that we tend to display our ascendant alot less (or at least in a different more subtle way) when we get into our 30s. At that time we have a pretty good sense of self and are more confident expressing our sun sign. I have found this true in my case. I am a cancer asc, nothing like my sag core, but ruled by the moon so it was very prominent a good chunk of my life. My moon has always been the Boss. She let's the rest of the floating rocks run the show for the most part, but when she says it is time to go, then we go. She doesn't want control, just peace. But as our ascendants project energy designed to attract certain things. I had a read a really good description of the Ascendant awhile ago that referred to it as the higher self. If we were able to project our sun sign instead and attract using that, it would get tied in with ego. We identify with our sun sign. It just seems kind of messy if ego was left in control. My asc forms a grand trine with my pluto/venus conjunct in scorpio & my mars/jupiter conjunction in pisces. Ik these two play a big part in how my ascendant is perceived. I know these placements are very magnetic, especially the venus & pluto in scorpio. It can attract nice things but typically its uncomfortable. My cancer ascendant is a source of protection I guess. Its working with my moon. Who wants nothing to do with the people that have accidentally gotten caught up in her magnetic field. Its nice for an ego boost i guess but not much else. At least thus far. I have no interest in manifesting a romantic or sexual partner which is pretty much all a venus/pluto scorpio in going to attract. I want to manifest platonic relationships. I want to interact with strength. I want stimulating conversation and people who challenge and inspire me. Those with a healthy sense of self, independent, don't need an emotional crutch. Not looking to me to fill a gap. Doubt my venus is cut out for that job. I need to get my weak butt mercury up and running for that.. -_-

I'm not sure if it matters much but I didn't explain my pisces placements very well. My Jupiter and mars are conjunct in the 9th house around 14°. The 10th begins at 22° pisces. They don't all conjunct each other but the do all form a square with my moon. My 10th house is primarily in Aries. I have my NN in the 10th at 18° - So the nodes are quite involved in the moon & sun/sag stellium's affairs.

I am curious as to what sparked your interest in the 12th? Do you have planets there or know someone who does? Most people have no interest in this house unless it is directly affecting them. That's how I developed an interest in it.

Service & Suffering...I like how that sounds. Sounds like why I came here. After 3 decades of wandering about, looking for reason, I have finally accepted that I'm not really here for me so much, at least in a personal sense. My growth and strength comes when I serve another or suffer for another. I absorb pain as a way to learn & understand emotions the way others do. My logical understanding of emotions has had tremendous healing abilities for two women over the last 2 years. It was through them I realized what I could do. When I learn to use it to its fullest. Needless to say there are certain wounds that are beyond the point of healing. Using logic would be useless, insulting and very tone deaf. Those require spiritual intervention. And that is the one hurting right to find. Purpose, peace, the beacon of light to help guide others on the dark path they found themselves on at one time. Empathy, spirituality, unconditional love. The sacrifice and the strength found along the way. It always helps to remind myself that suffering is not the same as pain. There is hope for everyone though as any and all suffering is capable of transforming into pain. Pain is beautiful, I know I will always be in pain, its always been apart of me as long as I can remember. I would never trade it though. Life without pain would be void of any meaning. We came here to experience pain, to understand it, to return to source. So we are worthy of returning to Eden. Appreciating what we had, what we turned away from. If we knew what we know now, we would have never disobeyed God. But we didn't know, we had to learn what we now know. It is all necessary. Heaven is nothing more than an idea in the here and now. We have yet to build it, Heaven will never truly exist until we are all here together. Unconditional love does not turn its back on anyone. No matter how evil & corrupt. What we don't understand is that not every soul begins their journey with the same chance of finding enlightenment and their way back to source. Just like every baby is born into a unique environment. Some never stand a chance while some are incredibly fortunate. Souls its the same thing. I am a young soul, which is indicated in my chart. My very first incarnation I started with my soul group. All baby souls. We started out as innocent as every other soul with the same ability to become corrupted by evil. Other than the all but completely forgotten memory of their primordial state, the eternal, untouchable energetic blueprint they were created from. They have no other knowledge of what they are searching for. We are always connected to source. We are all programmed with the purpose to return to from which we came.

I learned of my origin and my story through a 6day trance channel back in July. I made no mention of it to anyone but contacted a gifted member here because I couldn't really understand my past lives. I was being introduced to the most recent ones throughout the summer, just out of nowhere unexpected. They basically said exactly what I was told in my trance. (There is alot more than what I mentioned here.) But it more than confirmed what I felt was true.

My young soul group was incredibly fortunate. Are incredibly fortunate.* Every single person on this forum is more fortunate than I think they realize. Whatever, whoever got you to this moment, you are blessed & very well protected. None of us have been corrupted anywhere close to those who know nothing else. They have no way to connect to a soul guide as we know it. I am sure they view the "good" souls as being the evil ones. These people/beings w/e are completely alien to me and out of my realm of understanding. They are more alien than any alien i have ever spoke too. It is impossible for me to grasp what reality is to these souls. I don't believe these souls are bad either..thats all they know. I don't get it, all I know is I want us to find a way to cure them. To bring them over here. I want to know their story. They have access to knowledge that none of us will ever have. I don't feel a soul like that has come into existence as of yet. I believe this is yet to come & will be a first for the entire collective involved in this universe.

But thats just what I believe :-P I think it is time for me to come back to earth though.

A final thought, I mentioned astrology and soul age. It is believed that retrograde planets are a good indicator of soul age. Not 100% sure how I feel about that but I have so far found it to make perfect sense. Retro= older. My chart has 0 retrograde planets & besides chiron, none of my other asteroids are retro. While I am a young soul, I am also part of a soul group of very old souls. Chiron is funny in that it really isn't that significant in our lives unless in hard aspect to other points & planets. The conjunction is the most powerful, like it is with anything else. Some astrologers only really take the conjunction into consideration but idk. Anyway I feel this is my link back home.

[Aunt Bud]

This eclipse cycle directly affects my 12th house. I'll be watching, studying and learning.

[Miharo]

Originally Posted by Aunt Bud

This eclipse cycle directly affects my 12th house. I'll be watching, studying and learning.

Let us know then, if you like..
All the best

[Gemini46]

Originally Posted by Miharo

Hello again Gemini46,

I’m happy for you if you found something interesting in what I wrote.

I don’t think that you attacked your parents in your first post, it’s all good. You just told your perspective.
Me mentioning the moon here representing nurturing energy wasn’t intended to judge your mother, I apologize if it came out that way.
It was meant in that way that you, as the one with this placement, may have felt a lack in regards to feeling nurtured.

Oh goodness no, I did not take it that way at all! I was actually referring to what I said in my 1st post. After I posted I felt like I sounded like I was & I didn't want to come off as a pity case. Even if you were talking bad about my mama I doubt I'd be offended. I just meant I hold no resentment towards either one. I did at one time but as I grew up I got over it. They're human and they were struggling with problems of their own. I am more than grateful for my upbringing and would not change it for the world. It has made me who I am, it has strengthened me & I view it as unresolved karma. Sure they phoned alot of the parenting in, but really who has perfect parents? I know they both loved/love me & did what they could. It is what it is anyway. I am the daughter, it is my job to be the bigger person, not theirs. Yes my moon placement definitely hits the nail on the head when describing my relationship with my mother. As does my Sun's placement with my pops.

My ex-mother in law kind of filled in as a surrogate too. I always felt like she was the mother I never had. It is funny too because her birthday exactly 6mos away from mine, both on the 15th. Not only that but my time of birth was 5:50 pm while hers was 5:55am so our house placements are in the same sign. Her ascendant is 14°37' mins and mine is 14°36. Midheaven is 4mins apart. A few other significant placements too. While I was born on a full moon, she was born not quite on a new moon but her moon is also in Gemini at 2 degrees. Her sun falls in the 12th but her moon is in the 11th. While emotionally she was very different and expressed her 12th house outwardly, she was very open with all her emotions while I couldn't express the vulnerable ones, she just made alot of sense to me. Goodness she is an emotional woman. I miss her, I've thought about writing her alot this year.

I've done a little bit of dabbling in Vedic but it can seem overwhelming and difficult for me to grasp. I have become alot more interested in it this year. I don't know if I agree fully with it in and of itself being deeper than western astrology. I do think western has taken on a more shallow view overall, we are just a more shallow culture. I have done alot of studying on karmic/soul astrology (western) that goes much deeper than looking at the personality of the individual rather the soul. But I don't know enough about vedic to really make that claim. For the most part I have taught myself western but Vedic I feel like I may need some guidance, I would love to hear what you know of this subject ever you feel like discussing it. I know there is truth in both methods and I would love to find the link someday, but one foot at a time.

Another branch I was introduced to over the summer was Draconic. I know little to nothing of it currently but the little bit I do know I find fascinating. It is another type of soul oriented method but it focuses on the soul prior to this incarnation. Beyond that though, I havent a clue. Like I said I know next to nothing of it :-P