Is it silly for me to keep thinking about my TF?

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Green.Heals

Sorry OP, I understand this completely, as another pointed this out to me in one of my own threads, fact of the matter is, this forum exists so people can share their experiences, ask questions and have growth.

i find there is a lot of wishful thinking when thinking about TFs. We want them to be good and trustworthy people that won't hurt us... and will give us what we need.

That never seems to work out but our optimism in the matter is endless nonetheless.

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

That never seems to work out but our optimism in the matter is endless nonetheless.

Even when it isn't what we need.

[A human Being]

As others have said, fighting against your thoughts and memories of him is only going to keep you stuck. I remember being absolutely tormented with thoughts of an ex a few years back (it got to the point where I actually found myself laughing at my inability to go five seconds without thinking about her), and what I found in my own experience was that the memories and thoughts were being fuelled by various unresolved emotions; it took a lot of work (and I can practically feel hearts sinking as I say that, but it's true), but all the mental activity gradually subsided over time as I learnt how to process those emotions.

I spent a long time trying to wrestle my mind into submission, but it only really quietened down when I learnt how to be with what I was feeling without fighting against it. People may suggest various strategies that help you to basically manage or even repress what you're feeling, but you really have to allow those feelings to be felt in order to truly be at peace. It may not be easy, and you have my unending sympathy because I know how difficult and painful it can be

[lostsoul13]

it's natural to think of your twin flame, it can be a bit consuming-- natural high!

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by lostsoul13

it's natural to think of your twin flame, it can be a bit consuming-- natural high!

people like various drugs too...

[lostsoul13]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

people like various drugs too...

The twin flame is a drug— it’s you and “in you” there’s no separation...

“Said looking for a lover” definitely a drug....

[Aldous]

[Tigerlily]

How long ago did you 2 break up?

It's normal in any relationship after a break up to be heartbroken, sad, think about them etc. You will have to process this. Anger is one of the stages in the mourning process, which applies to relationships too.

If he is a TF or soul mate, I have heard these take longer to process but I think it depends on the person. Look at what you learned in that relationship and that will be a start to the healing process. As soul mates or a TF come into our lives and are gone we have to see it as a learning for spiritual growth.

I think you will think of him until you get tired of it, and then some day you will most likely fall in love with someone else. THis is a process that you are in, in a way I sometimes feel we are more understanding, tolerant if lets say it is a relationship where someone has died, then we are allowed to grief and take our time. But in a way when a relationship fails - it is as if that person has died, and that life has died with you. So it take time to rebuilt. I would try to look at it as if he has died, and you have no choice than to move on.

Sorry for your pain.