Introverted Boyfriend

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by BunnyJen90

Are introverts actually stupid or is it actually okay to be an introvert?

Introverts are not stupid!

[Native spirit]

I would have to second what Miss hepburn has said


Namaste

[Pinkish]

Originally Posted by Gem

During my studies it was always put forward that children should be 'stimulated', but I always wondered if that was necessarily right. Now days I walk in the world and notice stimulation everywhere, I don't want or need it, and it just seems like unnecessary noise to me. I just wonder if all that forced stimulation early on results in people producing a ton of stimulus later themselves. I become introverted because there is so much noise 'out there'. I'm big brain, but admittedly, people wear me out, so I feel much better with limited socialising.

I so agree with you there. There is so much stimulation out there. I too feel much better with my quiet times then out there..

[lostsoul13]

I'm an intervert- and definitely not stupid... Stupid at times but definitely not stupid...I'm quite slow to give of information but I put it down to my NOt hate being clogged up...this way I can revive information faster to the self...

Of course it is OK to be an introvert and I have never thought of an introvert as stupid. I have in some weak moments actually thought of some extroverts as stupid, but that is of course not always the cause, it has just been some things that has come out of some extroverts mouths when i sort of whished silence would have been preferred. If an environment is not, how shall I put it, nurturing enough for the introvert it may either out of boredom or lack of trust or what it now may be not interact so much. Perhaps shy even? However, if an introvert is a boyfriend and you are in a relationship with - and he is an introvert with you, not sharing with you, not close with you, then you can be alarmed, but it has nothing to do with his IQ ,just my opinion, for what it's worth. I've been with someone who could socially pass but just touching the surface doing so, but really not sharing any information, exchanging any information of real value, vulnerability etc. But with me alone he did. He chose who he wanted to be an introvert around and who he didn't. And I still plan to take things he told me to the grave. Introverts knows just what they are doing. Depending on the social gathering my way of being can shift very much so. I can be an introvert, it's a choice you make. Next breath, in another social gathering I can be an extrovert. It all depends. I know someone who on some hours of the day is an introvert, shut off and because I have learned that I don't socialise with this person on those hours, we're still around each other but we just don't interact. I let this person take the first move.Then suddenly it is as if one turns on the light and this person socialise like you wouldn't believe, and is happy to see me, and talk with me about all kinds of things, jokes, is serious. In the beginning I did not know this so I would actually think my God did I say something wrong yesterday? Did something happen...? No, nothing happened, just how this person is, and I go with the flow.

[astralsuzy]

My husband is introverted. I broke it off with him before we were married because he was introverted. We have been married for over 30 years.
My husband is far from stupid.

I was going out with other men before we married but I never stayed with them because they did not suit me. I realised I cannot have everything. A year later I did not want to go out with any more men. I had feelings for my now husband. I kept in contact with him one day a week. I asked my husband if he will come back to me. He said yes. My husband has many good qualities and I had to make a decision to accept him being introverted or not. I chose to accept my husband and it was the best decision I made.

[A human Being]

Coming on an internet forum and suggesting that introverts are stupid was always asking for trouble

[WeiYing]

Originally Posted by BunnyJen90

Maybe everyone is right and I should break up with him since I question his intelligence since he's introverted. But still it would be very hard for me especially since I doubt I could find another guy.

The sea is full of fish. Yes, relationships take time to build and can be stressful. But what matters the most, is being happy with the other person.
We are not born to make OTHERS/THE SOCIETY happy. We're born to make ourselves happy, and hopefully our partner(s) - not sure I'm supposed to use the singular or the plural here.
Having kids is not really a sign of happiness. Kids CAN add to the happiness of a family/couple, but they're not a sign of them being happy together.
Not having kids is not a sign of or sure way to be successful, career-wise. It's just easier to become successful at your job when there are no kids (or even pets) involved.
My partner and I are a same-sex couple. We could have kids of our own if we wanted to, and we decided we'd rather adopt one. Or parents had to come to terms their bloodline will end with us. Luckily, we both have cousins with children, so the family doesn't die completely.
We're almost 40. 10 years ago, i cared more about "what society thinks of this/that.." These days, not so much anymore.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by BunnyJen90

Sometimes I worry since my boyfriend is an introvert that he must be stupid. However, when he does open up it turns out he is really creative and seems to just have a lot on his mind and also he has a sense of humor, which I wish I kind of had because I can be too serious at times. ...Are introverts actually stupid or is it actually okay to be an introvert?

Introverts are no more stupid than extraverts, and there are wide ranges of both.

Some introverts may be shy, socially awkward, over-sensitive, afraid to speak up, uncomfortable being the centre of attention. Who knows what they experienced in their childhood to make them feel this way. I was once such a person.

Other introverts are quite comfortable with themselves and simply do not seek the company of large groups. They may enjoy interacting with individuals, but otherwise they just enjoy their own space. This is me now.

Some extraverts are loud, insensitive, too fond of their own voices, and just want to be the centre of attention. They take up a lot of space and are quite tiresome to be around. Maybe deep down they simply want to avoid being on their own and having to face themselves.

Other extraverts simply enjoy the company of other people and the art of communicating.

We are all human and we are all very similar and very different.

Instead of wanting to change your boyfriend why not look at changing yourself - perhaps begin by learning to accept people as they are. And do try to develop a sense of humour - it is one of the greatest assets a person can have.

Peace

[Altair]

I'm an introvert and I'm not stupid. I'm also not shy nor am I afraid to talk about how I feel or share stories of myself.
I can get very personal with someone I just met within half an hour if we click..

There's a lot of confusion about introversion. It gets associated with shyness, awkwardness, lack of social awareness etc.

While those things may correlate they are not the same as introversion..

Introversion means you are energized when alone, it means you need time alone to 'charge up'. You can't be around others all day, that's too much sensations and you are overstimulated. That's all it is about.