Divorce - Page 6

LoveWater · #51 29-11-2020, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asearcher

of course you deserve far better, it has nothing to do with that. I have a strong feeling you will be fine.

Thank you, although it has everything to do with deserving far better. He's been abusive towards me, then cheated on me. So yes, of course I deserve better.

Right now, I am not ok... I feel very traumatized. I am not eating or sleeping. I'm barely taking care of myself.

Eventually, the rage will subside and once he's gone out of my life, perhaps I can be OK then.. or at least work on my healing.

LoveWater · #52 29-11-2020, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asearcher

You need to get him out of your home, find some space where you can heal. I believe very much you will be OK, more than OK

if he wants you back than I can imagine he will not leave volentarly or drag things on further.

Big hug to you. Try to force yourself to eat at particular hour even if you do not feel like it, imagine what will be a normal portion to eat and then just force it down, basically. Take walks in fresh air some hours before going to bed and see if it helps. I know it is not much but even small things may soft things and make it a little bit easier.

Wish you all the best

He is no longer sleeping at home and will slowly be moving out all of his belongings over the next 2 months.

And thanks.

Eventually, I will be OK, after I have done some healing and personal work. Right now, I am not OK.

I am better off not seeing him at all though. So today I went to my parents home to camp out for many hours while he packs up his stuff at our home.

BigJohn · #53 30-11-2020, 04:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveWater

He is no longer sleeping at home and will slowly be moving out all of his belongings over the next 2 months.

And thanks.

Eventually, I will be OK, after I have done some healing and personal work. Right now, I am not OK.

I am better off not seeing him at all though. So today I went to my parents home to camp out for many hours while he packs up his stuff at our home.

Sounds like what you want is happening................
keep your fingers crossed.

LoveWater · #54 30-11-2020, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn

Sounds like what you want is happening................
keep your fingers crossed.

Yes.... at least he is out of the house and has agreed to move out. Thank goodness.

LoveWater · #55 03-12-2020, 03:09 PM

I am so beside myself with anger and rage towards him. Yesterday, I dealt all day and night with more begging and pleading from him over text. I remained firm in my stance, yet he continued to try and manipulate me, lie to me, and gaslight me. It enraged me even further, because I recognize that it is continued abuse from him.

I was actually physically shaking this morning with anger towards him. It is DEEP. I have got to get outside at some point and go walking to burn off his angry energy I have, but I am not taking care of myself at all.

I have really gone downhill. I am drinking every day almost, and I am constantly thinking about the abuse. It is all consuming. I am traumatized by him.

LoveWater · #56 26-12-2020, 11:40 AM

This is what I got from him on Christmas eve - I love how it's all about HIM, and how there's nothing in here about how I may be feeling, or about how sorry he is that he's hurt me with his infidelity. And I love how he's saying he's in disbelief this has happened, when HE'S the one responsible for this happening!!!!!! It's a pity party he threw and he's just trying to manipulate my emotions with this, AND me.

"I’m glad you have people to be with. I have been and will be alone. Completely alone. I have not been able to listen to or enjoy music I drive to work and back again in complete silence. I can’t sleep. Averaging 3hrs a night. My work performance has degraded by 50% not sure how much longer I will be able to keep my job if this continues. I am in a very bad way. I will be there Sunday I don’t expect you to feel sorry or actually reply to me it’s not necessary. I lay awake wondering when the nightmare will end. When I do dream it’s of different scenarios with us then I wake up to reality and cant contain my sadness and disbelief as to what has happened. I hope and wish for the best for you this holiday."

BigJohn · #57 26-12-2020, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveWater

This is what I got from him on Christmas eve - I love how it's all about HIM, and how there's nothing in here about how I may be feeling, or about how sorry he is that he's hurt me with his infidelity. And I love how he's saying he's in disbelief this has happened, when HE'S the one responsible for this happening!!!!!! It's a pity party he threw and he's just trying to manipulate my emotions with this, AND me.

"I’m glad you have people to be with. I have been and will be alone. Completely alone. I have not been able to listen to or enjoy music I drive to work and back again in complete silence. I can’t sleep. Averaging 3hrs a night. My work performance has degraded by 50% not sure how much longer I will be able to keep my job if this continues. I am in a very bad way. I will be there Sunday I don’t expect you to feel sorry or actually reply to me it’s not necessary. I lay awake wondering when the nightmare will end. When I do dream it’s of different scenarios with us then I wake up to reality and cant contain my sadness and disbelief as to what has happened. I hope and wish for the best for you this holiday."

Some people.....
can't admit they screwed up.

Sounds very similar to people residing at jails and prisons.

LoveWater · #58 26-12-2020, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn

Some people.....
can't admit they screwed up.

Sounds very similar to people residing at jails and prisons.

Especially narcissists! Which is what my therapist says he is.

So true.

BigJohn · #59 26-12-2020, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveWater

Especially narcissists! Which is what my therapist says he is.

So true.

I was going to write that..............

Just don't let him get to you especially on the guilt trip.

LoveWater · #60 27-12-2020, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn

I was going to write that..............

Just don't let him get to you especially on the guilt trip.

It got to me. On Christmas day I finally replied, letting him know that I was sorry he was alone on Christmas but that I was also having a very hard time too.