Crying

[Earth Healer]

White, when I was very young I was told over and over "big boys don't cry". At the time, I couldn't not cry. Over the years -- many of them -- I cried myself out. Now I have a very hard time crying. The urge to cry comes when my soul is deeply stirred, but I shut it down. I think it is representative of release from the power of emotions, and my inability stems from fear of addressing those feelings. More to the point, probably fear of revealing those feelings to others.

[Dargor]

Crying is a thing for overly emotional people that proudly wear their hearts on their sleeves. It's something the weak are addicted to. Sure, when it comes to losing someone important in your life it's rather hard NOT to shed at least a few tears, but sobbing your eyes out over one of those stupid dramatic songs on the radio or a romantic breakup scene in a movie??? Get a hold of yourself. I'd rather not waste my own tears on such trivial matters (which doesn't even affect me in the slightest) and even if I had a valid reason to cry I'd do it in secrecy where not a damn soul on this earth or beyond is able to see me at my most vulnerable.

[Nameless]

Crying is what it is - a release of emotion that we can't hold within our body. Our bodies leak. We are not our bodies so we should have some control over this crying business, but alas, sometimes the tide takes us with it and sometimes we can withstand the tide, for the moment, until we are alone.

But the feeling needs to be dealt with at some point. It is just - how long do you want the emotion to get stuck inside.

We are not taught how to flow with our emotions. We are taught some emotions are bad. I was told if a human could learn to ride the wave of emotions, their lives are so much richer. We were meant to do be able to do this. We were just not taught how to do this in the modern age.

I don't think judging crying is effective or helpful for anyone. It just is. Like laughing and dancing, singing and sleeping.

It is just something our bodies do, if we allow it.

I'm trying to learn how to allow my emotions to come and go and not hang on to them so they don't get stuck and I have to deal with them 20 years from now. I also don't want to cry - but I see the value in it. It is like grief. Grief is a wave that overtakes you and then ebbs away when the crying is done. It comes back and goes away, over and over, until one day you can smile and laugh instead of cry. I think crying releases something so it doesn't get stuck.

I still don't like to do it, but it does help move the energy out of you. It is just not always possible when the wave comes........and you are at work

I was told to deal with the emotion as soon as possible, relive it, feel it, and let it go. So the crying part is the feeling part sometimes.

I am older so I know how many years stuck emotions can hang on. Basically until you deal with them.....

(Oh, unless you are two. Those two year olds - they all know how to allow their emotions, and everyone around them can feel the immediacy of them. We were born this way, we just got talked out of it)

[linen53]

Originally Posted by sikaphant

I feel similarly. I cry for many shallow reasons too of course. But there always seems to be a dull ache. It's gotten worse as I've given up some of my more self-destructive vices. Maybe 'worse' isn't fair wording choice. It's just inconvenient to cry a lot. It's also pretty dehydrating. It feels childish to sob for no tangible reason as a grown woman.

Ah yes that dull ache at the center of your being. That throbs to a beat it's own.

[Shinsoo]

Hmm...I cry a fair amount but it's rarely for very long. Usually it is in response to some sort of sacred information I've been made aware of--enabling me to see a situation more clearly and thusly empathize much more readily.

I look forward to an actual, good, cleansing cry once these thoughtforms and such are finally off of me. It's been a long time coming, but the finish line is fast approaching.

When I have actually been able to cry hard and just completely let go, I've almost always found myself extremely clear-headed. So for me, crying is a good thing.

[PMPM71]

I think crying is ego driven. I'm not saying don't cry but its more about you and dissolving ego then whatever the situation is that makes you cry. Real loss and pain is just emptiness and no crying, when its not about you. But then again, people are different.

I have postponed emotional reactions, if its something strong i do cry but in privacy and for one short intense interval. After that I'm good.

Originally Posted by Earth Healer

White, when I was very young I was told over and over "big boys don't cry". At the time, I couldn't not cry. Over the years -- many of them -- I cried myself out. Now I have a very hard time crying. The urge to cry comes when my soul is deeply stirred, but I shut it down. I think it is representative of release from the power of emotions, and my inability stems from fear of addressing those feelings. More to the point, probably fear of revealing those feelings to others.

I'm sorry you were told this. It happens all the time unfortunately. Where the world developed the idea that boys shouldn't cry is beyond me. Maybe things would be in a better state if men weren't so hung up on avoiding vulnerability.

Hmm certainly might be ego driven. That's a good point. I recently found myself crying over the memory of a time I was sad. Not even the memory itself! Just the memory of myself being sad. Had to stop crying and laugh. I'll call that self-compassion and move on.

Originally Posted by SlayerOfLight

Crying is a thing for overly emotional people that proudly wear their hearts on their sleeves. It's something the weak are addicted to. Sure, when it comes to losing someone important in your life it's rather hard NOT to shed at least a few tears, but sobbing your eyes out over one of those stupid dramatic songs on the radio or a romantic breakup scene in a movie??? Get a hold of yourself. I'd rather not waste my own tears on such trivial matters (which doesn't even affect me in the slightest) and even if I had a valid reason to cry I'd do it in secrecy where not a damn soul on this earth or beyond is able to see me at my most vulnerable.

..... I'm going to poke your eyes with sticks to make you cry... !!!!

[Altair]

I'm a stoic, somewhat aloof kind of guy. I rarely cry, though I have a weakness when it comes to quality movies and can get watery eyes.

These days many people think crying is all about how you're raised and the more you do it the more 'enlightened' you are, but it just goes to show how matriarchal we've become. However, the truth is that it depends a lot on testosterone levels. Boys can easily cry, then they hit puberty and T levels increase and they cry less and less and as adults they rarely cry. Meanwhile, women cry more as do effeminate men. Interestingly, from what I understand transsexuals describe changes as well. So it's really a lot to do with your T levels.