What was the meaning of all this?

when i was really young someone who had accurate visions one time just went into her usual vision-state and began telling me about my future wedding, i hadn't asked her. the type it was, different details of it.

then at one time years later i was to meet a man and i felt this strong, really strong, instant dislike for him, and i couldn't explain why. he would tell me, and others, that to him it was love at first sight so strange. i never react like that, first time.

then he would be around me and i did not pay attention to that, i was busy and i was partying and i really could not tell or care if he was in the crowd or not. he kept showing interest but we hardly spoke (or anything else). I could not understand why he was into me like that. first i remember i thought he must have confused me with someone else. it just didn't make any sense to me. and then i thought well in time he will get the picture.

he could have been around for 1-2 years, i can't remember. there's a lot i can't remember.

i must have seen him with different eyes at one point. we must have dated although i can not remember a single date.

i don't know how to explain the relationship. I have bits and pieces of it. I remember him changing. I don't remember me ever raising my voice to him. it is safe to say something happened to my brain at one point during the relationship and it was due to the mental abuse.

One time, he came to pick me up, somewhere, and as I jumped in, it was suddenly as I was in the future, and so was he, and i could see a piece of his hand, arm on the steering wheel, and a different type of watch, and I looked in the back and in the back was a baby, set up, safety first, and then as I was to look back again at him - it all ended - and I was back in my own reality. Something like this had never happened to me. As my future self I felt as if I had depression, that I knew what he was, and how to handle him, that we were only something on the surface, almost like a made deal of some kind. The feeling of depression was something I could not forget.

I was not aware of it then but as he wanted a baby with me he did not seem to at all respect that I was in a different situation, path, then in my life, and his attitude was first that if it happened, it happened - and then no question about it, we would keep it. He would take risks. It then escalated. It was as if he was looking to get me pregnant.

When I was trying to break out for good of the relationship there was this pull and he was trying to get me back in, and over time, not at first - at first I thought he would let me go given he had initiated it, but I was wrong, and he refused to agree to the term "break up", and he was so that if he had not said it - it wasn't so, but naturally I then knew I did not need to agree with him.

I never really felt a connection with him, only one of his masks, that is the man he pretended to be that I was interested in.

Could he have been like what was told to me before - my destiny? Why else was the wedding described like that, that was his family, and the other stuff, and was my higher self trying to warn me - that I was going to be depressed, and that he was in secret, if nothing else, trying to get me pregnant? Why else such a powerful vision of the future, with me actually being right in the middle of it - how that now is even possible?

And if we were meant to be - why was my higher self trying to warn me? There were other things too, I began to sense energies in the most freaked out fashion, and I couldn't understand it myself but it let me know his true self and what he was hiding, like then too - did my higher self try to tell me he wasn't his mask?

But if we were meant to be, and meant to marry, and meant to have a baby - then why would my higher self try to warn me over and over like that?

Or was that pre-plan designed by someone else?

I'm sure had we continued we would have been unhappy.

[FallingLeaves]

you could just be 'remembering' what happened somewhen else... if that is so it isn't so much of a warning as a memory of how unhappy it made you when you did it. you've sidestepped that though... nothing wrong with that, if it is wrong for you there is no good reason to do it.

yes maybe, thank you for your input, btw :) although i am all in usually when it comes to past life memories, the "thing" the baby was in was modern, not a thing of history (it is as if they did not think so much of safety back then, i remember i did not even have a seat belt on...).

When it did happen I was astonished and I sort of laughed to myself in secret thinking wow, that had to be some tripping - sight hallucination... I did not tell him because I did not like the idea of him thinking I had lost it. But I was not unhappy with him then.

What was strange, later on is that I remember how unhappy I was and still I did not move my butt - I did not get out of the relationship then. It was as if I just accepted being that unhappy. I think I was then trying to figure out WHY I was so unhappy. My brain did not quite follow but I guess that was the mental abuse doing that.

I swear, throughout the relationship it was as if i was being warned, someone telling me he wasn't who he pretended to be. To me things felt staged, i couldn't get my finger on it.

I also got the strongest pull when I was leaving for real, but been told victims of abusers get that. Then nothing, I was free. Had I loved him - I would have gone back but because I didn't and was both angry and scared about how he had treated me and who he was I had no interest in going back to him no matter what pretty words he used.

I understand i could have made that whole thing up if i had gotten to be paranoid and suspicious of people but i don't remember feeling that way about someone else, not then. I found things from his past I had no way of knowing, and other things, and he could not understand what was going on. It was as if i wrecked the whole thing up, what ever was in the plans, but if so - happy I did, 'caus we weren't right for each other. So peculiar though. If that was destiny, destined to marry into his family (There were details from the kind of wedding that fit that description, my kind of wedding would be more like wearing a 1970's dress and going barefoot on the summer grass, that's my ideal wedding right there) - that would have been a weird destiny. Could be though that the one having these visions had visions of an old wedding, kind of hard to say when everyone is wearing those strict types of clothes and the surrounding being old and such...