Maybe I am wrong? Help and guidance ... please

[PecaS]

In this lifetime. My father was a garden-variety piece of ****. to mention a few things, he would ask my mother for a divorce and then back down. However, each time he would run my mother through hell, one time, he kidnapped my sister and me (with full knowledge of his family) and made mom suffer.

At another time, he *Sorry, deleted* because "they hindered his plans" even though I had managed to get pet sitters (after begging his brother, my uncle), and then, he boasted of the deed for years afterwards.

My sister is an ENT, and at some point of her school, she faced a bunch of deadbeats who were planning on raping and beating her. We knew, and my father said: "good! I hope they do it so your sister learns that she has to obey me". Of course, I did everything to manipulate him (and I did and saved my sister AND my mother) as they were staying together and both at risk.

There are three jewels of how he was like for us. Of course, he was wonderful to friends and HIS blood family. Due to many things happening we got rid of him and he died alone. As he wanted. He was the type of man who would believe anything any "spiritual" healer would tell him, it did not matter if it was crazy or hazardous to one's health.

He would "feed" mom things to "exorcise her" because "she was friends with a ***** who wanted his body" and I saw my mother convulse while sleeping... IDK you could do that.

Anywho, my mother currently is dying from cancer and liver nash (non-alcoholic cirrhosis) I am sure that he had things to do in this, and I loathe him for many reasons. But

I've always believed that I came to this world to help my mother who, in turn wanted to "save" a soul that had been pleading for help for eons: my father's and that, in the scheme of interactions, it was only us three: my mom, my sister and me.

But now, with mom in the process of transitioning, I worry that I might be wrong and that, all this resentment I feel against him is just because of this lifetime. and in the next one, we are all good.

Also, If I may ask, I do not want to reincarnate. At least not in this earth. which returns me to the idea of us three are part of some sort of "heaven militia"?

can anyone give me knowledge, wisdom, help??