Loving our enemies ???

[RedEmbers]

It can sometimes seem that the brighter and truer that one shines closest to inner knowing, the more enemies show themselves.

I don't think it is necessary to love thy enemies because understanding them is enough.

I understand that the people who have harmed me the most, have very low self esteem and are very hurt and disconnected from their own inner sense of self and integrity. Unfortunately this has made some of these people very creaul.

That is enough for me to know, that understanding in itself is love but it is not the love which has commonly been taught and I wonder if somehow the message has been a little bit misinterpreted?

If I want to love poisonous snakes, then my only job is to learn about them and to understand them. If I want to handle poisonous snakes then I need to accept the nature of the creature and do my best to minimise harm. I have no desire to handle poisonous snakes :-) my desire is to stay away from them and that is love in this instance. I leave that to the snake handlers who have spent time understanding them the most.

In regards to human enemies however, who are not snakes but people...
My own inner loving God, as a loving parent of my inner self would tell their child to stay away from bullies. It is also not mandatory for me to like everyone, doesn't matter how enlightened I become, if I am allergic to or do not prefer oranges, I don't have to eat them.

[inavalan]

Don't hate and don't love what you don't want! Simply.

Loving something, having compassion for something, means focusing your attention on that, which results in bringing in your life / reality more of that and that kind, which you don't want.

Why would anybody wish to have more enemies to love?

There is so much misunderstanding ...

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by inavalan

Don't hate and don't love what you don't want! Simply.

Ah, so simply staying neutral, detached...be an observer. Brilliant post above.

I toppled over a waste basket today on my way to the trash ...wouldn't you know I had a TON
of pistachios shells in there....lol......I stood there and looked at it...they were everywhere...
the worst time to topple it over, upside down, even.
I was nonplussed...then laughed at the absurdity...cleaned it up.
I was a none event.
I'm getting pretty good at this 'observing'. These Zen Koans are workin'.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I'm getting pretty good at this 'observing'. These Zen Koans are workin'.

Great thread. I agree with you, iamthat and Redchic12 … each person acts as of their present soul growth coordinate and knowing no better, can do know better. Thus, with this recognition there remain no ‘enemies’. There’s no one to forgive.

Having said that, why trauma bond with toxic people? Walk another path strewn with the fragrance of roses.

[AngelBlue]

Firstly I would like to say that I have a lot of friends on this forum that have known me for several years now , both on the forum and off the forum. I am an open book and am very transparent, what you see is what you get. No hidden agenda, no lies, no pretence . And those people that know me also know that not a nasty person , that I'm highly sensitive, that I'm truthful and genuine.

So therefore, if anyone hurts me it goes deep and I re-act.
I have to get it "out of my system" in order to move on from whatever caused the harm.

So in answer to the question, and being honest "NO". I could never Love the enemy. And more to the point , I wouldn't WANT to . So if that makes me a weak person then so be it.

In my world I instantly lose all respect for the perpetrator, therefore I find it emotionally impossible to love someone that I do not respect.

Having said that, I don't hate them. After the event is over and done with I feel nothing , absolutely nothing towards them.

If I HAD to feel an emotion towards them it would be pity and gratitude that I am not them !!

[Jean-Yves]

Hello everyone and thank you for your feedback.


From what I can understand of unconditional love, it does not involve any specific behavior. In other words, even if it is felt towards a criminal, for example, it does not mean that the person who feels it should associate with this criminal.

For those who feel this unconditional love, the question of benevolence, compassion or action according to "the intelligence of the living" does not even arise, because it is natural to them. But compassion can also be expressed in a very firm and adapted way. Just like a loving mother who acts with kindness towards her child but who can also be firm with him, because it is this attitude which is necessary at the moment and beneficial for the child.

But for those who aspire to self-realization, to inner liberation, to reconnection with "the soul", from what I can see following my own journey, it seems to me that it is necessary to move towards the light...
Which appears as a way of “calling” love in itself.

As this Maori proverb says:

"Turn to the sun, and the shadow will be behind you"

Because if we remain benevolent with all those around us, even those with whom we have no affinity... We are then nourished with light and this attitude elevates us. Because we feed on what we emit.
And conversely, malicious intentions and acts associate us with low energies that pull us down...

It is undoubtedly for this reason that the laws of morality have been enacted and advocated by religions. It is a pity that these values ​​which are the orientation towards the good have been perceived only as rigid dogmas external to oneself, to be followed blindly. Because it caused rejection; human beings don't like to be locked up, constrained... which is quite natural... because obviously there is an innate, natural and deep desire for freedom in humans...

It is good for everyone to reconnect to their own heart, to their own interiority, because in the end it is not useful, and above all not beneficial, to make "constrained" what flows from the source. (Because the human being is fundamentally good, in the sense that what emanates from him, from this deepest level of his being, is pure, in accordance with the "intelligence of the Living".)

This is all the more essential in my view since one is never sure of making the difference between good and evil based solely on appearances, on the visible world.
This undoubtedly requires trial and error, a kind of aspiration of the heart (to act for the good, according to the current which emanates from our own heart, or according to the will of God if we speak in religious terms), but I believe that only thus can our action be truly good.

I don't know if I'm managing to make myself understood, but what I wanted to emphasize here is the importance of benevolence, and this even towards the "enemy" (or the one whom the we don't like) because it is a way to "grow" spiritually...
With regard to this reality of "unconditional love", it appears that it does not depend on our "little I", on our individuality (of Jiva), but that it is a gift from God.

[AngelBlue]

In short, it is NOT usual for a victim to feel un-conditional LOVE towards someone that hurts them.
And more so, it becomes like a ripple in the water in as much as it extends out to the victims loved ones and friends . Anyone that hurts their family member / friend can only be frowned upon.
Love is NOT un conditional .
Respect has to be earned .

[Jean-Yves]

I agree with you AngelBlue. Respect has to be earned

[AngelBlue]

Originally Posted by Jean-Yves

I agree with you AngelBlue. Respect has to be earned

It all boils down to the theory "" treat others as you would wish them to treat you..""
Or..
""Do unto others as you would have them do unto you ..""

I have always adopted that approach.
Although I am only human and I react if people treat me unfairly.
I'm not talking about playground scraps where there's a bit of name calling.
I'm talking about more serious issues.

[Redchic12]

Re JeanYves

It’s all very well to talk about benevolence and spiritual growth but tell that to a mother who’s child has just been raped and beaten to death. Love just isn’t going to happen and why should it. No offence intended.

Have a read of an article about Reeva Steinkamps parents whose beautiful daughter was shot four times by Pristorius in South Africa. She talks about forgiveness very clearly indeed.

However saying all that, I feel things are never black and white as there is always a grey area ie. There are somethings such as betrayal, defamation, libel, small fights, humiliation etc that MAYBE forgiveness can eventually be felt and accepted. But there are other things as stated above that are impossible to forgive for most of us.

And really WHY should they forgive that person if they don’t want to?

This too, is not black and white either in my opinion. The grey area is:

1). You can stay with NOT forgiving and still live a valuable decent healthy life because you don’t dwell on it or let it affect your life and relationships ie long term. You just try your best to get on with things.

Or

2). you can stay with NOT forgiving and let it consume your life with thoughts of revenge and hatred which in turn will eventually destroy your well-being.

Both scenarios are obviously about NOT forgiving but one has a well balanced take on it and the other does not, in my opinion.

I don’t feel there is a right or a wrong answer to forgiveness and we should never expect others to accept it the way WE think they should because it says this and that in the bible/Koran/religious texts etc. we can only do the best we can given the level of consciousness that we are at.

Not saying I’m right, just thinking out loud.