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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #11  
Old 17-04-2022, 01:05 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Would have, should have, could have, is only giving your power away.
I've been in a really abusive relationship for 10 years. I also got red flags very early on. I also chose to ignore those. Had I not, it could've saved me 10 years of hell on Earth, but... I also wouldn't have the beautiful things I learnt through it.
I never really slipped into the would have, should have, thing. It's pointless. Instead I looked at why it could happen (my part in this that is) and what the gems are that I got from it. And those are a great many!
I also see that I could've had an easier journey IF I had taken on the lessons that I obviously needed to learn. But I never did, I was too afraid. If I had done that before meeting him, I would've learnt the lessons and would've gotten the gems as well, but in a much much gentler way.
But again, I didn't face those lessons, I shied away, tried to get around them.
Clearly my Soul needed to learn it and then it was provided for me in a way I could not circumvent: a love relationship.

I never really regret it as I would not have gotten the gems without it. The only thing I feel uncomfortable about at times, guilty, is that it also affected my children AND my relationship with my children.
But then I also know that my kids needed that too, and they both got valuable gems from it. My relationship with them has been restored over the years. The support of my last partner in this (not the abusive dude) also helped. I discussed my guilt with him and he said, you had no choice at the time. And you did the best you could.
Getting that support and understanding soothed the guilt I still held, also my daughter especially saying that I do not need to feel guilty. That she knows now and understands how incredibly hard it was for me. We cried together.

In an odd way I'm glad it happened as it made me into who I am and who I am supposed to be: a confident, empowered woman with a lot of wisdom to share. I'm a great coach of women. And weirdly enough the abusive situation also strengthened my intuition, and with that me setting foot on the spiritual path. I guess the inner Heart seeks something that brings joy and happiness, even in the direst of situations. For me it was that.
So even when it comes to spirituality and intuition I wouldn't have been who I am today without this horrible relationship.

In any case, long story short, look at what you had to learn from it and what you took away from it, the gems, that you didn't have nor would have if this hadn't happened.
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  #12  
Old 17-04-2022, 01:14 PM
Izz Izz is offline
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Yes, FairyCrystal, that does make a lot of sense. I'm sorry to hear about the 10 years part, I cannot imagine what that must be like but you sound like a very strong and resilient person with plenty of love, blessings and support in your life

Quote:
In any case, long story short, look at what you had to learn from it and what you took away from it, the gems, that you didn't have nor would have if this hadn't happened.

Yes it does, I have been taught to put much more value in myself and my inner voice. Even if someone tries to convince me of something else, but my inner voice is firm about something - I would never ignore it the way I did in the past
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  #13  
Old 17-04-2022, 07:14 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is online now
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There is one thing that will serve you well.and it wont let you down that is Your Instinct your inner voice.


Namaste
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  #14  
Old 18-04-2022, 07:47 AM
Izz Izz is offline
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Very true, Native Spirit. Im learning to trust it above all
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  #15  
Old 18-04-2022, 01:47 PM
Miss Hepburn Miss Hepburn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Izz
Very true, Native Spirit. Im learning to trust it above all
And the more you listen the more that inner voice (by any name) comes into the forefront.

I'll never forget...I had an appointment I completely forgot about!!! OMG, it woulda been bad...
I'm eating and my fork in hand just stopped ..my mouth dropped at the message I was given right in my little pea brain....
''You have an 11:30 appt!''
I just made it!
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*I'll text in Navy Blue when I'm speaking as a Mod. :)


Prepare yourself for the coming astral journey of death by daily riding in the balloon of God-perception.
Through delusion you are perceiving yourself as a bundle of flesh and bones, which at best is a nest of troubles.
Meditate unceasingly, that you may quickly behold yourself as the Infinite Essence, free from every form of misery. ~Paramahansa's Guru's Guru
.


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  #16  
Old 18-04-2022, 02:21 PM
Izz Izz is offline
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Very true, Miss Hepburn. It must be honored

I remember that specific defining moment in my life years ago of which my inner voice spoke up but I couldn't listen to it

However I have learnt to truly, truly, a hundred per cent honor that Inner Voice (key word being honor)

Last edited by Izz : 18-04-2022 at 09:12 PM.
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  #17  
Old 02-05-2022, 03:13 PM
lemex lemex is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John32241
There are always reasons we make the choices we do. If you can appreciate that in this instance and have compassion for self it will help.
This is what I have found to be true as well and I came to understand the reason of the reason,it was enlightening. The inner-self is one of awareness, nothing more. Awareness of knowing self. But I also came to be aware of the reason and also came to honor the reason as well. For me. neither were wrong. Compassion for self.
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