Uh-oh... another regression and not a nice one

Last night I went for a healing. I have been seeing the same healer for over 8 years now and I value her greatly. I have done a number of regressions with her over the years and found them healing... in the end. We only ever do them when they are sponteneous, she does what she does and if they come up so be it, we deal with it as it is clearly something that is ready to be healed.

But it's been a few years and I guess I forgot what the aftermath was like.

In the past the really tough ones have always been me being the victim, dying in some battle, rape, abandonment, stuff like that.. but this time I was the perpetrator.

I knew there was going to be some in there somewhere but I've never had to deal with one........ we did the work to heal those I harmed and there is no guilt left (there was a whole heap during the work I assure you).. but I feel exhausted and emotionally battered.

I don't really know why I'm posting.. I just needed to talk to someone about it I guess. I love my husband and he loves me very much, he respects my "weird world" but he wouldn't know where to start with helping me deal with this.

I know in a short time I will start to feel less shell shocked but at the moment I really could do with a hug from someone that understands......

[NightSpirit]

Happy to give you a ~hug~ but don't understand why you want to put yourself through this? Is it necessary?

Hugs! I've had experiences like that and sometimes it just takes some time and talking it through. Hope you are feeling better very soon

NightSpirit... it is not by choice, it just happens. I've known for some time that there was something that needed to come out... couldn't listen to music without crying... I had also been tasked with learning to stay grounded (see my other posts) and this is connected to why I won't stay grounded...

CJ82Sky... thanks, i've done some tidying and I think it has cleared some of the ick from my head too...

Congrats on the healing!

You just need a day or 2 to rest. :)

I am a little curious if your healer or you drew any connections between those past lives and your current one?

There is always a reason for the regression based on this life. They only come up if, in healing them, I progress in this life.

I most certainly will give you a hug And perhaps even bring you a little peace of mind as well.

From my understanding of things, sometimes, we need to become the thing which we may not necessarily want to become, just to know for absolute sure, that we do not really want to become that.

Please, I beg you, do not look at the bad things you had done in a past life, as a way of tormenting yourself in this life. Learn and heal from all the wounds this knowledge has brought. Search deep within your soul, and figure out if you were happy doing those kinds of things to other people. If the answer is no, then learn the lesson you chose to learn in that lifetime. Do not let that lesson you chose, defeat you now. Find your inner strength, and say, "I know what it is like to do evil things. But, that is not who I am deep down inside."

Stand up and face the lesson you learned, and know that you learned that lesson for a reason. Yes, you did those things. Yes, you now know, what it feels like to do such things. Now ask yourself, is that the kind of person I want to be? If your answer is no, then use the knowledge you have gained, to turn that negative situation, into a positive result, now, in this lifetime. Know deep inside your very core being, that you are not that bad person you once were, because you now choose not to be. Let that lesson go, and find your inner peace over the situation.

The exact same lesson can be learned from your past lives where you were the victim. You know, what it feels like to be a victim. Learn and heal from the experience.

Do you enjoy that feeling of helplessness? Have you learned that lesson well enough, to turn the negative situation into something positive, that will heal you with inner strength and inner peace, in this lifetime?

A lesson behind being a victim, is learning, that no matter what happens to you, due to circumstances or someone else's malice, is that it is still your choice, to grow strong enough on the inside, to no longer cling to that sense of fear and hopelessness. It is still your choice, whether to let it go and find that inner peace, or continue to experience that lesson over and over again, until you learn to let it go, and move on.

Life is not always going to be fair, but it is how you choose to learn from it, that helps us to heal, grow, and shape us into who we really want to be.

I hope this has helped

Hi Trieah

Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot.

It is interesting what you say about being that person teaches me that I can choose not to be that person. I am aware that I am still capable of the rage that I expressed in that lifetime. I am aware that if necessary it might protect me, but I also choose to not let it out. It's why I really dislike anger, I know what damage anger can do if it is let out in the wrong way.

I am lucky in that I do not come away from this sort of session without completely healing all involved. I healed the people I hurt, I understood why I was that person and I forgave myself for being that person. My guide also came and flooded me with so much love there was no way I could come away with any negative emotions...

... but it doesn't stop me feeling battered. This sort of thing brings about change and it's almost like parts of me need to catch up, as well as the fact that is all held at a cellular level too, which needs to re-jig itself. It also takes a lot of energy to travel that far, we're talking about 1000 years back in history....

However, I have been kind to myself today, had some time to chill out, looked round some shops and spent time with my husband, my cats and in my garden... along with getting some much needed clearing out done in the house. People's responses to my thread have also helped greatly.

I have also done quite a bit of pondering and listening, writing in my journal and feeling the difference in myself since last night.

As traumatic as they can be I actually prefer the 20 minutes of trauma, knowing I will leave with just a bit of a "mop up" needed afterwards than try to do the same amount of healing out in the real world... it is much harder and more confusing than doing it this way.

Tomorrow will be even better and I will be feeling more settled. I was going to say "my old self" but that is not the idea.. I should be feeling different to that, hopefully.

[Spiritlite]

HI there and I hope you are feeling better, I don't know how you do it, it must be very hard. Hugs to you.
Spiritlite.

How I do it??... working with a very very special lady.

The healer I see is phenomenal. To look at and speak to her you wouldn't think she was anything other than a very very normal mother of 3 grown up boys.. but she is much much more than that.. a gift from Spirit and she has helped me grow, learn and deal with so much over the years.

I trust her immensely. She has changed my life!