I don't know if this has been discussed before, but I'm just going to come right out and say it: I
really loathe these cold-reading mediums (or “mediums”) who aren't channelling anything but their own egos – or at best, w$nking a weak link that they take a hint from and make up the rest.
(I apologise in advance for the length of this post. I'll give it a few headlines to break it up)
Spiritualist church
My partner and I went to a a number of spiritualist churches earlier this year, out of interest and curiousity. I was open-minded, ready to be wowed, etc. The first one we went to there were maybe a dozen people present, so the chance of actually getting a reading was pretty good. She did the rounds and came to pretty much everyone. It was all grandparents for an hour. Parents to one lady who was clearly in her 80s, so it was fairly safe to presume her parents were in spirit. The medium said, "I love grandparents, they're so cosy."
Indeed. Also, fairly unimpressive. To me it just seemed like she got something of a link, but didn’t work it. She managed to get maybe one or two things for each person, although she was hovering over them for about 5 minutes or more. And it was things that was so general that everything that was said could have easily meant something to both me and my partner. I call that cold reading. A cosy, nice, warm, chatty grandmother and a quiet, nodding grandfather who let her do the talking. Who can't relate to that, generally?
So, then she came to me. I tried to be as forthcoming and open as I could, although I was the 2nd to last reading of the night.
"There's a lady here, who you were very close to on the earth plane."
Oh yes, this was clearly the indication of another grandmother figure.
I said "OK".
"You used to be very close to her, and sit next to her on a stool as she was knitting, and you would have good conversations."
Again, I said "OK…" probably sounding a little less convinced.
"She's a lovely, warm character."
Again: "OK…"
She stopped and went, "Can you take any of this?"
I thought of being polite, but ended up saying, "Not really sure…"
She rounded off by saying I was overdue for a dental appointment, that the lady was sending her love and off she went to the last reading of the day, on the other side of the room, as far away from me as possible.
The crowd broke up pretty quickly after the last reading. The medium was out the door even quicker. I don’t think anyone was particularly convinced.
(Nevermind the circle at another spiritualist church that we attempted. Oh my God, it was like a scene out of a comedy book! But that's for another post...!)
Anyway, this wasn't the first time I've encountered a cr$p medium...
"Forget about him and move on"
Another example is a medium visited on a tour, and it was pretty much the same scenario as the one above. Few people, everyone got something. Me too. It went something like this:
- Is your mother still with us?
- Yes.
- Is your father still with us?
- No.
- Your father is with you, and he’s around your mother a lot. They were very close and she misses him a lot.
- OK…
- Your grandmother is in spirit?
- Yes.
- She’s a lovely woman, so warm and caring, she and your mother were very close, and they still are.
- OK…
- You yourself have always been one in the crowd, didn't stick out really, until recently when you've come out of your shell.
- Uhm…
I've never been a "sheep". Anyone who knows me will tell you that much. But even after this, which was a complete dud (will explain later why), I had already booked a reading with her. A one to one. Maybe she'd had a bad link that day, right?
The first thing she said when I walked into the private reading was, "Forget about him and move on!" I was a bit startled, and asked, "Forget about who, exactly?" She brushed me off and said I should know that. OK, fairly cryptic, then. She said I had "a lovely sister of mercy", "an Indian" and "an Asian" with me as guides. Great, I thought, all that's missing in that line-up is someone from Atlantis... I asked if I could ask questions, she said yes. So I did. She asked me questions back, fishing for information. When I wasn't satisfied with that, saying something like, "shouldn't you tell me?" she said, "You ask a lot about the past. Forget about that." A lot of forgetting to be done, clearly. Sometimes you want answers before moving on, but she was more interested in giving me future dates that would be "important" and to forget about people.
Afterwards, I was meeting with a friend who had had a reading with this medium the previous year. When I said what her intro had been, her jaw dropped. "WHAT!? That's what she told me too!!! I'd had a fight with my husband but didn't think it had been that bad!" When I asked which guides she had been getting, take a wild guess which three she'd got listed up as well. Another example of cr$p mediumship. Or rather, cold reading.
Why the readings were wrong
Both these medium clearly looked at my age and sussed out that a dead grandmother would be a good bet.
Most grandmothers might be these cuddly things with a great relationship with their grandchildren, but I can honestly say that the relationship between myself and my grandmother was - at best - strained. She didn't want anything to do with me, really. She didn't want to be alone with me because I was a kid, which made her uncomfortable. When I came to visit she would make sure I went out in the back yard and played there. Overlooked by her from the 4th floor. She and my mother had had the same relationship but worse. My mother felt she was living with a tyrant, a control freak and when she went there was no huge grief. They sure as hell wouldn't be hanging out now chatting away, as one of them suggested.
Besides, my mother and my father had been divorced for years when he died, they hadn't spoken for years because the last six years of his life had been rather… well, let's just say it turned him into someone else we didn't recognise. Sure, it was a feeling of loss for her then, but she was well over him – for reasons I won't get into here.
To round off - finally ;)
There are many good, honest mediums out there. Even bad mediums with good intentions. I have to admit, very few make my jaw drop. I've met a few that have blown me away, but being a working medium should have some sort of minimum requirements, really. I've seen mediums encouraging people to commit suicide because they can't cope with the world, and then blame spirit for making them say it. Honestly, some things just aren't on.
Would like to hear other people's experiences with this stuff...?
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