Dont want a lecture, just thoughts pwease!

[loopylucid]

Ok so im not after what i should do in order to cure myself via some spiritual practice, cause my ego dont like being told what to do and im not working with that lady right now hahaha!!
Long story short, been on the spiritual trip for 3-4 decades now, from watts to tolle, to jiddu, to readings, to dream to astral to damn, i prob missed a few things out but ya get me!
Then i experienced an awful lot of death.
I lost babies, i lost my mum to cancer she died in my arms 4 months after diagnosis, friend to suicide, and about 6 months ago walked into my family home to find my dad dead and cold, rigor mortis set in and off to the other world.
I have complex grief, something in all my prior grieving ive never experienced before, this amount of deaths all happened in the space of 8 years, got over one lot of pain to head into another.
My whole worlds changed and as well as i know grief, im stumbling round with this lot.
Ive become quite irritable, where before i had patience, i see things very differently spiritually, far more human based and kinda off the ideas of your just awareness, like damn i miss being human now, its weird.
My inner child has gone well all polly pocket!
And i appear to of totally isolated myself and self sabotaged anything that looks anything near like love.
Now the obvious is fear, i know exactly why psychologically im doing this, damn i can even empathize ****!!
But I cant seem to stop it.
Prolonged trauma, what do you know about healing from it, is my query , thankyou

Originally Posted by loopylucid

Ok so im not after what i should do in order to cure myself via some spiritual practice, cause my ego dont like being told what to do and im not working with that lady right now hahaha!!
Long story short, been on the spiritual trip for 3-4 decades now, from watts to tolle, to jiddu, to readings, to dream to astral to damn, i prob missed a few things out but ya get me!
Then i experienced an awful lot of death.
I lost babies, i lost my mum to cancer she died in my arms 4 months after diagnosis, friend to suicide, and about 6 months ago walked into my family home to find my dad dead and cold, rigor mortis set in and off to the other world.
I have complex grief, something in all my prior grieving ive never experienced before, this amount of deaths all happened in the space of 8 years, got over one lot of pain to head into another.
My whole worlds changed and as well as i know grief, im stumbling round with this lot.
Ive become quite irritable, where before i had patience, i see things very differently spiritually, far more human based and kinda off the ideas of your just awareness, like damn i miss being human now, its weird.
My inner child has gone well all polly pocket!
And i appear to of totally isolated myself and self sabotaged anything that looks anything near like love.
Now the obvious is fear, i know exactly why psychologically im doing this, damn i can even empathize ****!!
But I cant seem to stop it.
Prolonged trauma, what do you know about healing from it, is my query , thankyou

Here's my take, and it is just my opinion. You've been through a lot, and I think the first thing is to heal psychologically and in the sense of professional therapy/counseling, not spiritual practice alone. Of course that's your call and you know yourself best.

Let's face it, the spiritual journey to that kind of healing could take a lifetime and more. I mean we're talking Enlightenment or a good deal of the way along that path, and I imagine emotional trauma makes it all the more difficult to walk.

I'm sure you've noticed people who consider themselves spiritually advanced getting all bent out of shape over a simple disagreement or difference of opinion on an internet forum. To me this speaks volumes to the difficulty of a spiritual path and how long it might take to bear fruit.

[loopylucid]

Thankyou hun, that meant alot i did try to get some help, but due to lockdown, (I wont get started there) its a whole waste of time, only one saving me is me, hence the call for help, i know i will make this, but its a toughy this one, knowing you understand that sentiment, helps me

Originally Posted by JustASimpleGuy

Here's my take, and it is just my opinion. You've been through a lot, and I think the first thing is to heal psychologically and in the sense of professional therapy/counseling, not spiritual practice alone. Of course that's your call and you know yourself best.

Let's face it, the spiritual journey to that kind of healing could take a lifetime and more. I mean we're talking Enlightenment or a good deal of the way along that path.

I'm sure you've noticed people who consider themselves spiritually advanced getting all bent out of shape over a simple disagreement or difference of opinion on an internet forum. To me this speaks volumes to the difficulty of a spiritual path and how long it might take to bear fruit.

Originally Posted by loopylucid

Thankyou hun, that meant alot i did try to get some help, but due to lockdown, (I wont get started there) its a whole waste of time, only one saving me is me, hence the call for help, i know i will make this, but its a toughy this one, knowing you understand that sentiment, helps me

I'll tell you what helped me. I went through a horrid period from 1999 to 2007, to the point I was questioning whether it was worth going on. Nothing concrete but the thought did come to mind and that freaked me out. Perhaps it was that kick in the butt that got me going?

Based on my personality and temperament (analytical and contemplative) I took up mindfulness meditation and dove deep into consciousness studies. I was also lucky to find a great online support forum (DailyStrength) that sadly after several years was sold to a big corporation related to Dr. Oz and they totally revamped the site, sucking the life out of it and destroying the community. It went from a rich and wondrous forum with all sorts of great features like journals, goals, chat, etc... to what basically amounted to a smart phone app.

[loopylucid]

Consciousness study is the one thing i do seem to of kept an interest in during all this, since all this my consciousness has definitely explored lands ive never dreamed of! and it gives me inspiration that you went through this kinda thing for that long, and still you have come out shining, i hope the same for myself to

Originally Posted by JustASimpleGuy

I'll tell you what helped me. I went through a horrid period from 1999 to 2007, to the point I was questioning whether it was worth going on. Nothing concrete but the thought did come to mind and that freaked me out. Perhaps it was that kick in the butt that got me going?

Based on my personality and temperament (analytical and contemplative) I took up mindfulness meditation and dove deep into consciousness studies. I was also lucky to find a great online support forum (DailyStrength) that sadly after several years was sold to a big corporation related to Dr. Oz and they totally revamped the site, sucking the life out of it and destroying the community. It went from a rich and wondrous forum with all sorts of great features like journals, goals, chat, etc... to what basically amounted to a smart phone app.

Originally Posted by loopylucid

Consciousness study is the one thing i do seem to of kept an interest in during all this, since all this my consciousness has definitely explored lands ive never dreamed of! and it gives me inspiration that you went through this kinda thing for that long, and still you have come out shining, i hope the same for myself to

You might find my YouTube channel interesting (URL in my sig). No original content (well, aside from a vid of my kayak and another of my dog) and nothing's monetized so there's no personal gain for me.

I have a Consciousness playlist with some of my favorite vids on consciousness.

[loopylucid]

Hey do you get into chat, im in there now?

Originally Posted by JustASimpleGuy

I'll tell you what helped me. I went through a horrid period from 1999 to 2007, to the point I was questioning whether it was worth going on. Nothing concrete but the thought did come to mind and that freaked me out. Perhaps it was that kick in the butt that got me going?

Based on my personality and temperament (analytical and contemplative) I took up mindfulness meditation and dove deep into consciousness studies. I was also lucky to find a great online support forum (DailyStrength) that sadly after several years was sold to a big corporation related to Dr. Oz and they totally revamped the site, sucking the life out of it and destroying the community. It went from a rich and wondrous forum with all sorts of great features like journals, goals, chat, etc... to what basically amounted to a smart phone app.

[inavalan]

Having some personal achievements made me question why I am here-now, what am I supposed to accomplish. Then, when I lost somebody dear, I really needed to find answers.

Looking back, I see that all my life I was given guidance that I wasn't aware of, so I made no use of it. Things I understand now crossed my path repeatedly, and would've smoothed my path if I had understood them.

My honest opinion is that each one should get in touch with their inner source of guidance, and whenever they have questions to ask, and they'll get the most helpful answers. The difficulty is to put aside all your biases, emotions, expectations; they distort your understanding.

Usually people discard this suggestion, but I keep offering it because this is what I believe would help everybody, personally and en masse.

Good luck!

[Miss Hepburn]

Well if it were me..because of the deaths that follow with a broken heart...
I would got to Whole Foods and for about $12 buy a tincture bottle of Motherwort.
I would do a dropper and feel a diff the next day.

And /or Find online the free basic EFT Tapping points and do those a few times (7 or 8 points with a sentence each time)-
like 2-3 times a day for like 3 days...to ease the trauma and irritability.

If there is ever depression cuz of a break up or mourning - The Flower Essence 'Dulce' works in a couple HOURS!
Actually, quite shocking. Well, everything I told you I have done and
all are quite shocking how fast they work.

So that's- Motherwort
EFT
Dulce Flower Essence -maybe Bach has it.
And I also, don't want any guff if this sounds like advice or a lecture.
It's what I have done and would do again...Oh. And I keep Lemon Balm Herb Tincture around also...
about $12 at Whole Food...used in Valium...as Dr. Oz said. Who knew.

I found drinking really doesn't work.

[Native spirit]

When we go through a grief it affects us all Differently some seem to come out of it easier than others.
others take a long time to come through it.

But when we go through another grief it compounds our feelings and we feel like we cant go on etc.
But you will get through this.

I know there are people needing to see counsellors but cant. but there should be support groups you could call. and they will be able to speak to you.


Namaste