Spiritual Forums

Home


Donate!


Articles


CHAT!


Shop


 
Welcome to Spiritual Forums!.

We created this community for people from all backgrounds to discuss Spiritual, Paranormal, Metaphysical, Philosophical, Supernatural, and Esoteric subjects. From Astral Projection to Zen, all topics are welcome. We hope you enjoy your visits.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest, which gives you limited access to most discussions and articles. By joining our free community you will be able to post messages, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload your own photos, and gain access to our Chat Rooms, Registration is fast, simple, and free, so please, join our community today! !

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, check our FAQs before contacting support. Please read our forum rules, since they are enforced by our volunteer staff. This will help you avoid any infractions and issues.

Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Soulmates & Twin Flames

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 27-08-2020, 04:19 PM
ForeverRestless ForeverRestless is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 442
  ForeverRestless's Avatar
Post I'm back

My first post here was December 6, 2015. My last post was January 13, 2019. So it’s been more than a year and a half since I’ve visited this forum and five and a half years since my TF journey began.

So you can imagine my surprise, finally logging in today, seeing a comment on one of my old posts that was added three days ago. That tells me something about the energies rising up currently.

I’ve been getting the emails for a while saying the forum would shut down. I have been procrastinating, but I really do need to figure out how to save my posts because I am sure there are some small details I do not remember about my TF experience and one day I hope to write a book, so I need to save the documentation in some place. I have gone through such an awakening over the past couple of weeks, though, so I realize the memories are very much still with me, in my heart and mind.

It’s hard to know what to say to everyone here. I guess this is goodbye. So I will share a few updates and observations. A lot of the old familiar usernames are gone, which makes me wonder about everyone’s journey. In case anyone wonders about my journey, not much has changed for me. I went to the wedding in my TF’s city in spring 2019 and I did not contact him. In fact, I felt empowered by the fact that I was able to “prove” I wasn’t crazy or scary by just traveling there and having a good time, then coming back home, without a word said.

We have had zero communication since I sent him the letter in early 2018. I basically told him my side of the experience (as a rebuttal to the album he released falsely painting me as the villain of the breakup). I sent him a letter to set the record straight for my side of the experience and the huge rejection I felt. How much I loved him, how much I learned. How much pain I went through, and how I wanted to put it behind me, to close the circle. I really did have good intentions, but let’s be honest: It did not work.

Over this time since I was last on the forum, I have been buried in my career life and also a lot of health issues, so I have not really given myself many chances to think about TF. The memories find me anyway; remembering a word he used to say, remembering his laugh or a place we visited together, the memories brushing up against me at random times, just transporting me back to that era. I also have struggled with a great deal of guilt, feeling like I ruined everything by sending him that letter, but after a lot of soul searching this week, I am trying to remind myself that he ruined everything originally, the way he callously dismissed what we had, and never was able to express his true feelings to me except in his songs.

I have been assaulted with feelings for him for the past couple weeks as I feel the turbulence and passion and pain of separation in a way I have not felt in at least a year, and that is what brings me back here.

For a time I thought, maybe I am having all of these feelings because he’s waking up, he’s finally coming back. But the more I think about it, the more I realize my ego is resisting change. My ego does not want to accept that Twin has truly moved on, because then it means that this love was one-sided, that I’ll never get relief and reward for all the pain suffered. I am afraid to feel truly rejected in a final, forever way. I feel rejected over and over again when I think about what happened, but I hold out hope for a reunion later in life because my ego cannot face that final, ultimate rejection from the one person I loved the most, who understood me the most, who I connected with the most. But I am going to try to accept this. That is just wasn’t as powerful for him as it was for me.

Yes, I have the album in my iTunes library and I can always return to it. The dark imagery about dying and suffering and pain and rejection. The realization that love is the only thing that truly matters in a life. Him describing lying on the floor calling out my name. A kingdom falling because this love was lost. Being lost at sea, drowning, waiting for me forever, having hope, talking about constant tears he does not show anyone, comparing me to the Sun.

I cling to this album because it tells me he felt the exact same pain I did. And he may have indeed. briefly. When we spoke over the course of 2017, two years after the separation, he admitted that losing me was very difficult, but he tried to make a claim that he moved on from it quickly. He told me that it was the most intense period of his life and that even two years later, I still knew him better than anyone on earth. He said he always wanted to talk to me, but framed the reason as being an “intelligent contact.” I knew I deserved more than such a half-hearted commitment from him. I tried to cut it off with that letter, make a final stand to save myself, to rewrite the story.

I am here to tell you that it is not enough; the love always comes back. It’s been 2.5 years since we’ve spoken, which is even longer than our initial separation. What hope do I have except the instagram he posted last week stating that no darkness and no problem was ever bad enough to defeat sunrise or hope. I look for signs in his social media that he still dreams of me, as I dreamt of him last night, but this is not healthy. This is borderline stalker behavior and it never brings me answers, only more questions. The closest thing I can get to answers and relief is tarot, so I do recommend this to others, as it's helped me not go crazy with pain over the course of my journey. There is no overcoming this without deep, personal, internal growth. Cultivating gratitude for what you have, and living the best life you possibly can, with the assumption you’ll never see or hear from your Twin again.

I'm now almost 35, and I was 29 when I met him. I know I’ll never again experience what he and I had. I have tried to be OK with that in the years since, and in some ways I have come to accept it. What’s harder is accepting that for me it was profoundly life altering and special and for him it was just a blip on a more complex journey with possibly bigger adventures on the road ahead for him. I passed through his life like a comet, and then he was able to watch me go—however brilliant my tail shone.

Can I grow to be happy in my life knowing I’ll never again have what I had with him? I do not know, but I will try. I am finally, for the first time in years, focusing on my health. I have been so neglectful of myself for so long, which is so exemplary of my lack of self-love and self-care (always putting career first or ignoring my own needs due to anxiety), and this has to change. I do feel everything shifting very rapidly for me and I think it sort of began with me finally working on my health. It’s the first step in surely hundreds of steps to come, but I hope it will bring me to a place where I can find fulfillment and wholeness—because I finally seek it for myself—and somehow overcome this extraordinary loss. While also realizing he was not a good person for me—or at least in no way equipped to give me what I needed for a relationship—which means that I am better off without him. I guess that would be enlightenment? I guess at that point I will no longer care.

I am sad to say goodbye to everyone here and I am sorry that I did not accomplish more growth on my 5.5-year TF journey. I want to offer a heartfelt, immense thank you to everyone who listened and coached and advised me as I was struggling through the depths of separation. You helped me be able to survive through it, and in that way, you saved my life. I hope the other new souls here have better luck in that regard. If I can give any advice, it’s to not neglect the soul work. It may not bring your twin back into your life at all, but it may bring you so much fulfillment that you evolve past that need, which is just as positive an outcome.

We can do so much with these lives of ours when we aren’t sitting around wallowing about what we lost or burying out head in work, a bad relationship, some obsession, or anything we use as a means to run from our selves. Think about the things you wish your Twin would see in you, and love you for those things. Then instead of crying out to the universe for Twin to recognize your wonder, choose to love yourself for those things and those reasons. Unite with yourself, and you will find the Twin Flame union you seek. At least that’s what I hear from those with more successful journeys than mine. You feel like something's always missing, but it's not necessarily them; it's what they showed you via the mirror, and what you are tasked with rediscovering without them.

I guess the real lesson is this: Just remember to LOVE and be love. It’s the only thing that really matters. Thank you all, and God bless you on your challenging and magnificent journeys.

Last edited by ForeverRestless : 28-08-2020 at 01:54 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 27-08-2020, 04:48 PM
Legrand
Posts: n/a
 
Hello beautiful energy,

This website is not shutting down finally.

Regards,
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 27-08-2020, 06:07 PM
Clover Clover is offline
Deactivated Account
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: ☘️
Posts: 10,271
 
Hi Foreverrestless,

I was wondering what happened to you!. Nice to see you back and updating us.

We are not closing the forum. We were set to close, but after much thought and contemplation, it was decided to keep the forum open. Thread announcement on reopening

I am not sure if there is a way to save the posts. There may be a downloading feature depending what browser your using, but I haven't seen it lately. What I did when I thought the forum was closing was screen shot posts I wanted to keep. I saved then to my home files as a JPEG pic file. Its nice to keep them regardless, you never know when a sight is going to crash or close and we lose data.


Traffic has slowed down for us over the years. Every now and than we get updates from old former members, it seems most of the members come back with a story of growing and moving on. There are some mutual connections/friendships, but very rare and hardly documented.
Best,
Cloves
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 27-08-2020, 06:24 PM
ForeverRestless ForeverRestless is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 442
  ForeverRestless's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clover
Hi Foreverrestless,

I was wondering what happened to you!. Nice to see you back and updating us.

We are not closing the forum. We were set to close, but after much thought and contemplation, it was decided to keep the forum open. Thread announcement on reopening

I am not sure if there is a way to save the posts. There may be a downloading feature depending what browser your using, but I haven't seen it lately. What I did when I thought the forum was closing was screen shot posts I wanted to keep. I saved then to my home files as a JPEG pic file. Its nice to keep them regardless, you never know when a sight is going to crash or close and we lose data.


Traffic has slowed down for us over the years. Every now and than we get updates from old former members, it seems most of the members come back with a story of growing and moving on. There are some mutual connections/friendships, but very rare and hardly documented.
Best,
Cloves

Thanks, Clover! Great to chat with you and happy to know the forum is staying put for now. That’s quite telling that old members do not reunite with their twins. It must be incredibly rare for these connections to work out, which is kind of sad.

It’s so hard for me to believe it’s been a year and a half since I was here. I guess I managed to “move on” more or less. I guess the thing about a TF is that the connection always remains, so you get smacked with it from time to time. But then you brush yourself off and keep going. I hope we are all able to find happiness, if not union!

I for one am happy about a (Partly) sunny day after weeks of rain and having very few symptoms of my illness today. It makes me feel like I can greet life with open arms again once this pandemic has passed. 😊
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 27-08-2020, 07:07 PM
Kalika Kalika is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 413
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverRestless
If I can give any advice, it’s to not neglect the soul work. It may not bring your twin back into your life at all, but it may bring you so much fulfillment that you evolve past that need, which is just as positive an outcome.

We can do so much with these lives of ours when we aren’t sitting around wallowing about what we lost or burying out head in work, a bad relationship, some obsession, or anything we use as a means to run from our selves. Think about the things you wish your Twin would see in you, and love you for those things. Then instead of crying out to the universe for Twin to recognize your wonder, choose to love yourself for those things and those reasons. Unite with yourself, and you will find the Twin Flame union you seek. At least that’s what I hear from those with more successful journeys than mine. You feel like something's always missing, but it's not necessarily them; it's what they showed you via the mirror, and what you are tasked with rediscovering without them.

I guess the real lesson is this: Just remember to LOVE and be love. It’s the only thing that really matters. Thank you all, and God bless you on your challenging and magnificent journeys.

Your entire post was beautifully written and I hope you'll be back to let us know your book is out, I'm certainly keen to read it.
I quoted the above because it's true "We can do so much with these lives of ours when we aren’t sitting around wallowing about what we lost or burying out head in work, a bad relationship, some obsession, or anything we use as a means to run from our selves." ...
We use the pain of the TF experience to RUN. FROM. OUR. SELVES yet in relation to the TF pain, like the quote of Mother Teresa, ”I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

With regards to TF, my advice would be to never apologise for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it because... ”You may have had unfair things happen to you, but the depth of your pain is an indication of the height of your future.” – Joel Osteen

God bless everyone on the TF path. Let this path gently guide you to LOVE of SELF. The true meaning of Twin Flame.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 28-08-2020, 12:04 AM
jro5139 jro5139 is offline
Ascender
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 987
 
Hi forever restless, I remember your posts from when I first started posting here and I remember your last post. I'm glad you came back to update us, even if it was to say that nothing happened:)

What I have learned from my twin is that when you truly have a connection, there is nothing you can say that will ruin it. Sometimes, people back away if they aren't in a healthy place, but the connection is never ruined when you come back together.
What I have also realized is that our journeys (not just our twin flame journeys but our journeys in general) are all about us and what we need. When I really realized that, it didn't matter if we didn't experience the connection exactly the same way at exactly the same times. I realized that I am experiencing it as I need to and he is experiencing the connection as he needs to. And that's ok. So if you experienced it more intensely than he did, than that was just how you needed to experience it. Maybe he didn't, that doesn't mean there isn't a soul connection there or that whatever he experienced wasn't meaningful to him.

Personally on my journey I was made to learn about trauma, and some things I learned were like a light bulb going off for me. Such as that intensity like that can follow trauma. I was in an abusive relationship before I met my twin so that really explained things to me about myself. It also showed me that intensity is not always a good thing. Anyway, even if not as intense, I have had other connections which were still meaningful. I don't think that if you don't end up with the person you call your twin, it means you can't find a good connection.

When my twin came back after our 2 year separation, I pulled tarot cards but they just confused me as they indicated such good endings and it has been such a long and bumpy road with my twin. But he is still in my life so we will see what happens.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 29-09-2020, 11:56 AM
RedBasket RedBasket is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 315
  RedBasket's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForeverRestless
What’s harder is accepting that for me it was profoundly life altering and special and for him it was just a blip on a more complex journey with possibly bigger adventures on the road ahead for him. I passed through his life like a comet, and then he was able to watch me go—however brilliant my tail shone.

Can I grow to be happy in my life knowing I’ll never again have what I had with him? I do not know, but I will try. I am finally, for the first time in years, focusing on my health.

So good to hear from you again, ForeverRestless, and to cross paths with you again on this journey. I'm struck here that you tell yourself that it was just a blip for him and that he has moved on. If you tell this to yourself because you think you know what he is going through based on what you see on social media, remember that twins can compartmentalize this journey and present a false facade to the world, especially through social media. So if contact with him that way can still send you into a tailspin (I am exaggerating with that word, I mean if this contact triggers you in ways that don't feel like it helps you grow), perhaps it can help you to remove yourself from that environment. Maybe it means not logging into the platform yourself for long periods of time, like six months. Especially if you feel compelled to focus on yourself and your health, then closing down the portal with him could help. He will always be there when you are ready to reconnect. As you say so well, love always comes back. But the "comes back" is an illusion, for in fact, it is like electricity. It is always in the room. We just need to turn off the lights ourselves some times. I have no doubt at all how much your twin loves you.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:17 AM.


Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
(c) Spiritual Forums