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Old 19-02-2023, 07:20 PM
In Flux In Flux is offline
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Feeling the dark cloud

I've noticed over the last years that when my mood turns more negative, then it may manifest in a more tangible "cloud-like" form. But not always. What I mean by this is that the negativity feels more like a concentrated presence that is hovering nearby. It's not visible in the normal sense of the word, but it feels more tangible, because I can contact it in my mind. And I've found that by contacting it, I can often resolve it, basically by embracing it and being present with it. It's almost like sulking, but in a positive way. It's a great practice, I fully welcome the cloud now, when it appears.
I think Eckhart Tolle also mentions this when he speaks about being present with the pain-body. What he didn't explain (or at least, I didn't pick it up from him) is that this "being present" is in no way a distancing from the cloud. I think I originally understood it like this: be more present in the here and now (instead of caught up in your thoughts), and you're not feeding the pain body any more. But what seems to work for me is: be present with the pain body and acknowledge and embrace it. Which maybe is also what Tolle meant, I don't know.
I can also be in a negative mood, and not have this cloud. Then I basically wait until it appears to me in its cloud-form, because that's the easiest way for me to deal with it. I should probably find out what I can do to go from "negative without cloud" to "negative with cloud" faster. I think meditation helps with this, but maybe there is more to find out.
Finally, there is this similary to the advice of facing your demons. Here, I'm conflicted. In the past I've experienced dark currents of negative energy, and when I connected to them, they just took me to dark places. I'm not sure if these dark currents should be embraced. Maybe they should, I really don't know, except that I've only had bad experiences with them: nightmares seemlingly without a silver lining (except maybe a resolve to orient my life towards more positive experiences).
Anway, I wanted to express these thoughts, and now, it's time to meditate.
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Old 22-02-2023, 07:26 PM
In Flux In Flux is offline
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Yesterday, I felt the cloud nearby, but this time it had more energy than usual, like it was shaking. It gave me the impression that if these dark moods get really strong, then willingly connecting to them will feel a lot scarier. But it's good to be at least aware of what's going on. In the worst cases, one can pray, that usually helps (even though for a rational person, it can feel strange).
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