Was/Is shutting up the wrong thing to do?

I have a thing about not telling anyone else about something they have confided in me and many times I don't even ask if I could tell, I just don't. Been times when the one confiding has said to me "What? He doesn't know?!" when actually have taken for granted or wanted me to tell my luv something that has/is going on in their lives.

Something was shown to me during meditation that surpise me, as if wrong of me to have done something in the past and I am confused about it.

During a break up from an ex I was pregnant with his baby but he did not know and because there had been a break up he was in his right to date, and he did.

She found me, the one he had begun to date, to ask if he dated us both and I told her no, he had broken up with me, so no... The way she talked she assumed they were going out on more dates.

He had after the break up been trying to communicate with me but I was not exactly open to do that and still in shock of the pregnancy we had not exactly planned. I knew when he sought contact that it was my obligation to tell him and I planned to do so.

I remember he was close to getting me back but something inside me broke after she appeared.

I never told him she had talk to me, that I knew he was taking her out.

I never told him I expected his baby and then lost it (miscarriage). Life went on.

Much time later it was explained from friends and even her too that the only reason he did this was to spark up jealousy in me, because I would not talk to him. He did not know that when I get jealous I want the guy as far from me as possible. He had not tried to make me jealous before in the relationship.

Sometimes I have wondered what kind of sick and twisted fate step in like that. I was just about to melt up and think it would be alright if I told him of the baby and if we both decided to try again. Even if he did not think it was all his fault (which I thought) of the cause of the break up he was just as pale looking and destraught looking in his eyes, and there were times when his eyes teared up even if he did not wish for it to show when he was talking to me. I remember how cold and dead I felt and me just looking at him like that made him look like a ghost and get emotional, think he got that this was far more serious. I could not wake out of it.

I found out too that even if she thought so then he did not take her out to date her any more times. That he did not kiss or touch her but one photo show she touch him. But she had had such good time with him she did not care. She would say sorry but he was still in love with you and she was told the truth, he did not hide it. She did not care. She must have been on some dating spree anyhow maybe.

I remember thinking first he dump me and then this, take her out, and what would it look like if I step in between them to tell them guess what I'm pregnant. it was so see through. I couldn't do it. If I had not fallen out of love before I did it then and there, I think it was too much pain in too short period for me to take.

Was it wrong of me not to tell him of me knowing he was dating her and what she had asked? I have been so used to all my life not to "snitch" so it just felt natural not to tell him.

But I do remember it was so close, just so close, that I knew just before she showed up that yes, I would call him or see him this time, I would tell him the truth of the baby, I would take him back if he wanted to (and I think he wanted to but still a discussion because I was not to accept bad terms of the relationship, then I was out for good, nobody boss me around).

Could I make fatal mistake in the future because of my principle?

Was the mistake all mine for not asking him about her? At the time I di dnot want to give him the pleasure of it, but I remember thinking had he met her before he dumped me? Was something going on then without me knowing? ( she said no. Friends said no)

I remember that she said too oh, don't tell him about this - kind off. Just because she did not want to feel ashamed. That she had not believed him or that she cared too much for him early. If she only knew the importance of her showing up like that, what huge difference it made, it is crazy when I think about it. And to her it was nothing, or close to nothing. Not something she would give a second thought. She did not know of the pregnancy either. And I remember thinking I'm not going to stand in the way of their happiness. Just so much about that period in my life was crazy, just crazy. So I held on to my old principle.

[Sethra]

I hope this helps, because I literally feel the pain your going through. I'm going to answer some of your questions, then at the end I'll input some personal relations supporting my answers.

Could I make fatal mistake in the future because of my principle?

No. Your principles allow what I call Rew-mawn, Allowing Nature's course. You did not interfere and they are the ones playing games, emotional games. That based on your comments, your not interested in playing.

Was the mistake all mine for not asking him about her?

Do you want honesty from whomever shares your heart? Then the mistake is his.

At the time I did not want to give him the pleasure of it, but I remember thinking had he met her before he dumped me? Was something going on then without me knowing? ( she said no. Friends said no)

Before I even finished reading this portion, I was inclined to the same answer. No.

The Bible essentially said that we should marry within our faith. Honesty itself is a faith. A belief that your partner or friend will listen to you and understand so as to help and become that solution for you. But that faith becomes lost when lies, deceit, and the information is inevitably kept from the other.

This is the problem I am living with, even though we are no longer Partners in that manner, I too have ceased verbally speaking to her. Why? Because every time I have verbalized a concern about our reality, The issue is shoved aside and replaced with de-based finger-pointing and ultimately a misdirection of the truth. Well after my silence I have learned the truth. Her friend confided in me the truth that was hidden from me for nearly seven years now. Like I found out that in our very first days of meeting that she wanted a relationship full of honesty, she was cheating on her husband with me and was lying to him and me about our associations with her.

She also let me say the words very specifically "I'm in Love with you" and she would always reply I love you too. Three years after the first time I said that, she tells me "Oh, you thought we were in love? Oh no sweetie, you got that all wrong" In that very moment my heart broke and a piece of me still feels that blade eating at my soul.

So I don't speak to her any more. I'm done with lies. I'm done with her games that I never wanted to participate in. I've literally been used by a narcissist for my abilities to create miracles. Now, I'm looking for an Angel to do that for. But until then, I am stuck where I have a roof over my head and food in my stomach.

Thank you so much for your words.

I have read it now several times to let it sink in.

Narcissists really do cause so much damage as the one who has said and done those things to you and they never have that normal sense of responsibility, I even think their tears are fake. Not unusual, as you may very well know, at this point that they find a translator for them, someone who is the things they are not: honest, sensitive to other people's feelings and so on. That will drag the show on so the outside won't see their true faces, buy them some time. I hope you find someone way better for you. Just realizing they are a narcissist quit the confusing game and then one has to put end to the abuse as much as one can, best to not have contact unless one must.

Again, thank you very much.

[Sethra]

Your very welcome Asearcher and Thank you for comments.

Not unusual, as you may very well know, at this point that they find a translator for them, someone who is the things they are not: honest, sensitive to other people's feelings and so on. That will drag the show on so the outside won't see their true faces, buy them some time.

Actually, I have had inclinations, but no, I never thought about it like that, in reference to the translator comment. Your absolutely correct. I have realized that her and I are complete opposites. Up to a couple years ago, I thought we were compliments to each other. Though with your words, I have Clarity which resonates with our (the lady and I) experiences from the beginning.

Only within the past three weeks, I have realized that what I've been living through... she isolates me by turning the community I live in against me. Through words behind my back, she has purposefully caused my close friends to hate me. All this while the community thinks she is a holy princess queen. I was able to see that when her friend came and spoke to me. Truly the wicked have clothed themselves with false light. and if the word wicked be inappropriate to any degree, they are Tricksters.


I saw how the man she was with before me, had become so vile.He had become defeated by her confusion and that caused the ruination of his soul. My mother while alive on this Earth and the Jehovah's witness that I was once stuck within, instilled into me to seek the Truth. Love believes all things. "All things" includes the lie's. Because in the end, when one examines All the pieces of evidence, just like one would with the pieces of a puzzle... The lies stand out and can truly be identified to not fit with the big picture.

Just this morning during my morning shower, I was thinking about the first two posts on this thread and I was a little shocked to realize how much I have learned from her. As in my ability to communicate such issues with others. I learned from my mother, what Unconditional Love truly is. Now in this relationship I have have been stuck within (which I know is a ground hog day) I never grew up with my blood dad, he wasn't ever there. In this involvement I have, I have learned everything that my blood dad was and I now understand why my mother wanted him far away from her and us children.

When I walked into my home this morning, my mind had another realization: Now I have become balanced. Before this day, I could not see my enemy in this life. I always knew my enemy is not a person, but an ideology of some sort. I never knew my dad was a narcissist until today. Now I know. I know the enemy, I understand the struggle, I currently posses 129 tactics and remedies to identify, avoid, and to overcome the Narcissism that plagues our species. Because every Angel taken in by one of these selfish sort, is one more brother and sister that is being tortured and they don't even realize the cage they have been locked within. And that literally has brought me to tears. And that's why I cannot stop sharing my book with everyone I meet.

We Angels must unite so as to defend each other. That Unity begins with a new language. Its no longer a day to help the wicked and unruly. It has become a day to Save all the Angels whom have fallen into the Fires.

If your interested, its a book I've scribe'd; https://ufile.io/3esf1ze4 There are no pop-ups or e-mail sign-ups, just a button to a free download.

Oh my goodness, I had a seven year Omen come into complete clarity within the past two days and now this Reality to be exposed. Wow, The Empowerment to have the ability to Defend Unconditional Love is worth more than all the riches this world has to offer me.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Asearcher. I thank the Universe and all that I have experienced in my life to learn what I have this day.

Originally Posted by Sethra

Your very welcome Asearcher and Thank you for comments.



Actually, I have had inclinations, but no, I never thought about it like that, in reference to the translator comment. Your absolutely correct. I have realized that her and I are complete opposites. Up to a couple years ago, I thought we were compliments to each other. Though with your words, I have Clarity which resonates with our (the lady and I) experiences from the beginning.

Only within the past three weeks, I have realized that what I've been living through... she isolates me by turning the community I live in against me. Through words behind my back, she has purposefully caused my close friends to hate me. All this while the community thinks she is a holy princess queen. I was able to see that when her friend came and spoke to me. Truly the wicked have clothed themselves with false light. and if the word wicked be inappropriate to any degree, they are Tricksters.


I saw how the man she was with before me, had become so vile.He had become defeated by her confusion and that caused the ruination of his soul. My mother while alive on this Earth and the Jehovah's witness that I was once stuck within, instilled into me to seek the Truth. Love believes all things. "All things" includes the lie's. Because in the end, when one examines All the pieces of evidence, just like one would with the pieces of a puzzle... The lies stand out and can truly be identified to not fit with the big picture.

Just this morning during my morning shower, I was thinking about the first two posts on this thread and I was a little shocked to realize how much I have learned from her. As in my ability to communicate such issues with others. I learned from my mother, what Unconditional Love truly is. Now in this relationship I have have been stuck within (which I know is a ground hog day) I never grew up with my blood dad, he wasn't ever there. In this involvement I have, I have learned everything that my blood dad was and I now understand why my mother wanted him far away from her and us children.

When I walked into my home this morning, my mind had another realization: Now I have become balanced. Before this day, I could not see my enemy in this life. I always knew my enemy is not a person, but an ideology of some sort. I never knew my dad was a narcissist until today. Now I know. I know the enemy, I understand the struggle, I currently posses 129 tactics and remedies to identify, avoid, and to overcome the Narcissism that plagues our species. Because every Angel taken in by one of these selfish sort, is one more brother and sister that is being tortured and they don't even realize the cage they have been locked within. And that literally has brought me to tears. And that's why I cannot stop sharing my book with everyone I meet.

We Angels must unite so as to defend each other. That Unity begins with a new language. Its no longer a day to help the wicked and unruly. It has become a day to Save all the Angels whom have fallen into the Fires.

If your interested, its a book I've scribe'd; https://ufile.io/3esf1ze4 There are no pop-ups or e-mail sign-ups, just a button to a free download.

Oh my goodness, I had a seven year Omen come into complete clarity within the past two days and now this Reality to be exposed. Wow, The Empowerment to have the ability to Defend Unconditional Love is worth more than all the riches this world has to offer me.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you Asearcher. I thank the Universe and all that I have experienced in my life to learn what I have this day.

Wow, you're welcome! I have not download it yet but will.

First thing come to mind yes the isolation and the talking behind your back are classics when it comes to narcissists. I have seen 2 in my life, one male and one female in different roles and they are truly both narcissists and they both have that in common. they too strangely enough has a good sense of humor but when one look close all jokes is on someone else and too they can't differentiase when not always appropriate.

it will take much time before people are willing to let go of the image they so perfectly illustrate of themselves but give them time and give them space enough to come close enough they will hopefully.

I have seen it in their eyes from the start but that may just be me, I can see something is off, cut off, somehow in their eyes. But before I knew what a narcissist truly is I did not know why. What caused the eyes to look like that.

It is a damage one can not repair, either born that way or have become that way, they can't hold it in discussions either, they are the worst to get in a discussion with. If one has not seen the cold eyes before then is the best time ever to see it "live".

I have had discussions where both the female and another time the male could not meet up and got up and left, just like that.

I have someone close who is a narcissist and it is hard because it has fooled so many really and every one plays a particular part, if one studies family with a narcissist I can see who everyone is.

I am only happy I have other people in my life who treat me like a normal human being or I would perhasp think there was something seriously wrong with me and that I deserve to receive all that humiliation. Not being good enough. No matter what.

It has caused friction between me and my luv. I think that too is part of the show, the narcissist wanting me out, not good enough for its son. People has said that I am still civilised and make good argument and keep calm too during my discussion with the narcissist but it will only it seem infuriate even more because its other tactigue fail with me.

To the narcissist it is just one game after another like we are all part of being rats in his laboratorium. The more drama the happier. To see how he can manipulate. I think narcissist get a real kick out of that. So they can just sit back and enjoy the show, tears are the opposite meaning to them. I won't give him the satisfaction.

Believe me, I never wanted to realize his dad was a narcissist and did what I could to postpone it, but after I woke up it is not like one can go back to sleep, and it is too such a relief in one way and a horror in another to finally recognize to one self what one is actually dealing with, sobering up, one can say, that is when you stop being a prisoner and can start to take action. You get yourself back, in a way.

I feel your pain and I am so happy you got away from her, Now you can finally live. I I hope some of your friends will one day figure out that she has not been telling the truth.

Please, take good care and thank you again very much

[Sethra]

*kneeling on a single knee*
"Very welcome and I Thank thee"

I have past realities I am resonating in your experiences in that previous post. For the exception of seeing it in their eyes. I am legally blind in one eye and I have had such an inert desire to see everyone as an Angel. Even though I am one to naturally look into anothers' eye, I'm going to begin observing more than what I used to pay attention to.

Blades sharpening Blades