Is this normal?

[lostchild88]

I am sorry in advance if this is in the wrong place. For some odd reason, I would rather see someone I know and love doing better than me. Why is this? Why in the world would anyone just want to sit back and do nothing with themselves and be glad that other people are doing something with themselves??

Now, all my friends are basically doing something positive with themselves but I am just taking my sweet time in life. Could there be some type of blockage that I have created for myself or could it be that I just don't love myself or feel worthy enough to be where they are. I consider myself a pretty loving person. I go out of my way to help the people that surround me. So why can't I go out of my way to help myself??

There's so many things that I could be doing with myself but I have no drive. How can I become a more positive person, self-motivated person? Could I be depressed? Idk there's just so many things that could go into play and I don't know where to start to pick myself up. Some days I think of all the things that I can do to help myself but that's all. No actions are ever taken to work on myself.

I guess, I just need advice on what I can do to get out of my head and take care of the important things. And how can I make myself believe in myself?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by lostchild88

There's so many things that I could be doing with myself but I have no drive. How can I become a more positive person, self-motivated person? Could I be depressed?

Hi lc. You might be depressed, you should probably speak to a professional if you have a concern (speaking from experience). Other things that can help with motivation issues:

~ Diet; very important!
~ Alcohol, drugs and tobacco; don't use them.
~ Said this in another thread today: eliminate electronic distractions (TV, radio, internet) and get out in nature more.
~ Last but not least: take a self-development course, or a college course that might lead to a new career at some point. What inspires you? Connect with that, and surround yourself with people who are interested in the same things you are.

A few other possible factors:-

- self-sabotage
- fear of failure (so you don't try/test yourself)
- procrastination

Have you asked yourself what would it take to motivate yourself?
Do you lack enthusiasm/passion in anything? This can be a symptom of depression.

[lostchild88]

My diet sucks. I am a petite girl. I have to force myself to eat half the time. I don't enjoy food. I never know what I want to eat. I went to a Psychologist about two years ago. I didn't find him very helpful at all. Every time I went he always looked at the time and asked stupid random questions that I felt will not be helpful and he was quick to tell me that if I kept having no motivation I would have to go on meds. I def don't feel like I need medication.
I feel like I started being less motivated, when I started to ask myself all these questions about life and trying to find myself. I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like I need to work on myself before I can start working on what I want.

That's the thing. I have no passion. I love to talk about the unknown and people think I am crazy bc I am so obsess with the topic. I enjoy reading. I have a big imagination and I think that's a big problem.

And I have to agree, I do procrastinate a lot. I have always been a procrastinator but at this point its not even procrastination. but I also feel like I get very overwhelmed easily, when I have so much to do, I just don't know where to start that I just don't start.

lol I don't watch t.v and if I do, is with other people and I get distracted easily.

I do know that I want to leave this world a better place and I do know that I want to live a comfortable life and help those less fortune.

I have thought about the possibility of being scared of failure, which I think I am. But I am also scared of giving myself fully to something and forgetting about other important things. And also, I have seen what money does to people and I am scared of being one of those people that are money hungry and turn materialistic. I think that's what I am most scared about.

I know and everyone else knows that when I give my all to something I excel.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by lostchild88

I love to talk about the unknown and people think I am crazy bc I am so obsess with the topic. I enjoy reading. I have a big imagination and I think that's a big problem.

I know and everyone else knows that when I give my all to something I excel.

Great, now focus on the positive and work with that. You like books and you have an imagination. So take a creative writing course. After your last post, I'd say you're clear what you want and don't want. So now start gravitating towards those things you enjoy, as well as the type of people you find interesting and inspiring, and that you can maybe learn from.

[lostchild88]

Yes, you're right. Thank you for responding.

[Mr Interesting]

The thing about doing stuff... anything, isn't about what you do but how you do it, which will eventually be just about expressing what you are... but not even that, just expressing really and being within that expression in love and honesty.

The fact we have so many people expressing for a reason; to be felt worthy, to make money, to be a part of something, is all our modern way of getting to expression in a selfless way so don't get the result and the reason behind the expression confused for the actual place it's there to take us to.

Like one person might start expressing straight away, within years of getting born, and another might take 30 years just pondering stuff but if after that 30 years they both arrive at selfless expression then what's the difference?

When I was twenty I basically stopped drawing but then at thirty I started again and found myself so much better... without doing any drawing! What I put it down to was that I'd learned to look deeper at the world and studied the use of light and depth and composition by reading and thinking and going out and doing stuff... the new expression was a result of that new depth of being.

Actually I'd be more inclined for more people to do less until they're really ready and giving yourself the time to do that may be a good thing. And failure is often a good thing, it helps us define what we really want as we learn to discriminate between what we see as failure and what others see us failing at... and it put's us in an enviable and cherishable position to see clearer what it is we're trying to actually achieve.

[psychoslice]

You just don't believe in yourself enough, just start of doing something simple and go from there.

Hey lostchild98! I have been were you are, and to some degree I think I still am. But I'm so stuck in a life that doesn't serve me, or who I want to be anymore that it hurts when I don't do anything about it. I don't think you're deppresed, deppression is a miserable feeling. It feels like your dying on the inside, and when you feel it you'll know. My advice to you is just follow your highest excitement at all times, just stop yourself for a moment and think of what it is that you want to do right now. Whatever it is that brings you the highest excitment do it, and it won't feel like a chore. And about that thing in which you rather see someone doing bette than you. I think it's kind of the same reason why some people, like to immagine themselves in extreme sickness and immagine people being around them. Because there is something inside of them, that makes them feel good to think that way. It's a hidden positive intention. If you want to learn more about this, check out a video on youtube only around 20 minutes long. It is by TheSpiritualCatalyst, called The Hidden Positive Intention.

lostchild - you say that what you are most scared about is becoming materialistic. Pleased to hear that - so what are your values? Do you place a high value on money? If so, then I can understand you wanting to keep this in check. Perhaps you can develop boundaries i.e. going beyond which you would not be comfortable/happy with yourself. If you don't place a high value on money then, there's no problem is there? You will not be lured!