Is shyness really fear?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

Why cant it all be here and now?

Is examining shyness and wondering if it's fear, here and now philosophy?

Is shyness fear?
Is shyness one particular incarnation experience?

Either way it's philosophizing that runs counter to the here and now experience of either being shy, or meeting someone who is shy. Rather than simply experiencing shyness, it's analyzing and intellectualizing and projecting what shyness might possibly and actually be.

[Howla Dark]

Shyness is deep rooted. It can be fear for some. A shy animal is afraid of being killed so it hides. In a way, a shy child is shy of people because they look dangerous or intimidating. A shy adult is feeling a sense of that fear or vulnerability.

Some shyness is just not fear but a personality trait, like introversion. Being introvert doesn't really mean someone is also shy.

Shyness is a form of embarassment too. A person can be shy of wearing a certain type of clothing because they don't want to look stupid.

A shy sense of being phobic of other people is social anxiety or it can be avoidance personality. I'm like this and it's because I feel drained being among people. Listening to people chattering all day gives me a headache especially when they talk a load of rubbish.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Baile

Is examining shyness and wondering if it's fear, here and now philosophy?

Is shyness fear?
Is shyness one particular incarnation experience?

Either way it's philosophizing that runs counter to the here and now experience of either being shy, or meeting someone who is shy. Rather than simply experiencing shyness, it's analyzing and intellectualizing and projecting what shyness might possibly and actually be.

Depends on this whole notion that you often refer too in your belief of past lives I guess.

I was stating that maybe that is might be part of your illusion believing that your next life you might be an extrovert or not shy or not fearful and so on.


My question was what if you can be all this right now here in this world as it is right now. That the belief that you can be that another time is just a limitation in the bounds of you versus the infinite view where your defining yourself as a source that cant be this here and now.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Howla Dark

Shyness is deep rooted. It can be fear for some. A shy animal is afraid of being killed so it hides. In a way, a shy child is shy of people because they look dangerous or intimidating. A shy adult is feeling a sense of that fear or vulnerability.

Yes we are part of nature so we do respond in so many ways according to what we know and understand about nature in everyway.

Some shyness is just not fear but a personality trait, like introversion. Being introvert doesn't really mean someone is also shy.

I don't relate introversion to shyness, but fear in the mix certainly can make one shy away from being more open and outgoing.

Shyness is a form of embarassment too. A person can be shy of wearing a certain type of clothing because they don't want to look stupid.

Well If your feeling embarrassed in this way, isn't that more your worrying about how you look in front of others, which would be more about acceptance to be as you want to be.

A shy sense of being phobic of other people is social anxiety or it can be avoidance personality. I'm like this and it's because I feel drained being among people. Listening to people chattering all day gives me a headache especially when they talk a load of rubbish.

Again though this is part of fear and anxiety. Or just a call to avoid something you don't like doing or want to be a part of all the while knowing what affects it has on you.

It seems placing shyness as a trait upon people potentially has so much more going on within it that its hard to say whether it actually exists alone.

[skygazer]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

I would often be classed as a shy child into my young adult years and even older adult years.

Not so much now.

Fear was part of my world one with shyness, so I wondered if anyone who understands shyness, feels they are related?

I am an introverted nature but that is not what made me shy, that is more how I process the world within so I suppose as a child I did spend a lot of time, watching, observing, taking in, not speaking much. And processing in this way, more silently observing and building meaning and connection this way.

Of course add fear in the mix and you have a recipe for definite appearance of shyness.

So maybe they are both related.

I am also an introvert and used to be called shy as a child. My take on shyness is just lack of practice in social situations. I worked with children for many years and there never was one that didn't come out of her/his shell once shown the tools, which they did by observing others.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

My question was what if you can be all this right now here in this world as it is right now. That the belief that you can be that another time is just a limitation in the bounds of you versus the infinite view where your defining yourself as a source that cant be this here and now.

I see this more as relating to how we each tend to examine this world and our experiences. Two specific and distinct ways of exploring any question: external and analytical, versus inner and experiential. I equate “here and now” exploration with inner experiential examination:

I stand here speaking with this introverted individual. I feel a space in our social exchange I don’t normally sense when speaking with an extroverted individual. I experience this individual yielding to me, and detect their lack of need and/or ego-desire to assert their self and their opinions into that space.

The experience itself IS the answer. Shyness is everything I inwardly feel, sense and experience when speaking with a shy person. The manner in which shyness touches my soul, IS shyness. There are no external labels I need to come up with in order to make sense of my experience; no reason to "explain" why the individual is shy.

Whereas external, analytical explorations attempt to diagnose, explain and make sense of that which is being examined. The individual’s particular belief parameters – their understanding of this world as it is right now - defines the parameters within which the question is examined. Is shyness a form of fear? Is shyness an incarnation-specific soul experience? Is shyness an indication of Christ love and humility?

[Clover]

A lot of these shy traits are learned behaviors too. My mother was very shy with outsiders and struggled with social anxiety, I believe it was in part of the cultural clash she struggled with. I feel like I picked up some of her introverted behaviors. For example, I have inadvertently came off cold or standoffish to people without realizing It until It was later pointed out to me. Therefore, no I don't think introversion is always attributed to fear. Personally,I would consider myself outgoing however, first impressions may not always appear what they seem.I can't tell you how many times I have heard this statement about me: " I thought you were this, but now that I got to know your really cool".
I would argue I am ambivert, and more times than none I am just reserved by default. It is most likely however, If I am not interacting with you it's probably because I really just dont want to talk to you...

I think first impressions aren't always the best ones.We are all different and we interact differently. I say, take the time to get to know someone, no matter how different they are from you. Open up and give them a chance, you never know how much they will impact or inspire your life.

[Miss Hepburn]

Shyness 101 according to Miss Hepburn, hahaha. I make myself laugh.

Fear is at the root of these social anxieties, yes.
The initial core fear is the fear of abandonment as a baby...can't get much more basic than that.

If we are abandoned we will die.
So, rejection (being judged, disliked, disagreed with, laughed at) =s abandonment, which =s fear....at the core
is our initial primal survival...self-protection.

Shyness is (and this is not a bad thing) is self-centeredness...
too much focus on 'us'/ 'me'.

If we were to enter late to a party, for example, all eyes were on us...
ha, how awful for a shy person...!...
if we turn our focus from ourselves and turn it to the hostess and say, "What a beautiful house! I love it!"
Then, turn to people as you are taking off your coat and smile and say
a big, enthusiastic "Hi!".

Now, where did the shyness go...we are now being kind and giving our love and attention to others.

I didn't go to therapy 20 years ago and not learn 'something'!!!

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by skygazer

I am also an introvert and used to be called shy as a child. My take on shyness is just lack of practice in social situations. I worked with children for many years and there never was one that didn't come out of her/his shell once shown the tools, which they did by observing others.

Yes I agree with you on this. Most often the extreme nature of my own introversion as a child was viewed as shyness but in fact it was that no one who truly understood me as I was being. So their was never any intervention to support me to come out of my shell so to speak. I was always deemed as the *quiet one*. Or the one very shy. In fact I had no reason to come out, in the way others were trying to say I should or had too. It felt all so unreal to me as a child and unsafe to do so. I worked with children for ten years and I noticed in my own support in this way, I would often intercept naturally to support highly sensitive introverted children, in ways I was never shown. I would often notice the extroverted staff rushing at times to bring them out of their shell. Which in my day was a *normal* thing to do. Where as my awareness often brought me to their space as it was to listen deeper to exactly what they required to move more comfortably and more connected. Rather than pushed and moving in ways unnatural to them. So in this way I gave back them what I learned to give to myself in a deeper more thoughtful understanding of how introverts like to take their time and move more slowly in their own inward reflective process.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Baile

I see this more as relating to how we each tend to examine this world and our experiences. Two specific and distinct ways of exploring any question: external and analytical, versus inner and experiential. I equate “here and now” exploration with inner experiential examination:

I stand here speaking with this introverted individual. I feel a space in our social exchange I don’t normally sense when speaking with an extroverted individual. I experience this individual yielding to me, and detect their lack of need and/or ego-desire to assert their self and their opinions into that space.

The experience itself IS the answer. Shyness is everything I inwardly feel, sense and experience when speaking with a shy person. The manner in which shyness touches my soul, IS shyness. There are no external labels I need to come up with in order to make sense of my experience; no reason to "explain" why the individual is shy.

Whereas external, analytical explorations attempt to diagnose, explain and make sense of that which is being examined. The individual’s particular belief parameters – their understanding of this world as it is right now - defines the parameters within which the question is examined. Is shyness a form of fear? Is shyness an incarnation-specific soul experience? Is shyness an indication of Christ love and humility?

Whatever Baile. (that was meant to be like whatever Baile. yeah yeah yeah, blah blah blah, I thought I better clarify my meaning of that comment)


Exploring is a wonderful tool to let others share as they see things and openly allow and support whatever flows even as I begin and form a first impression in my OP. It feels like your making it heavier than necessary in an attempt to make it look simple in the way you see all this in your own way of looking into this, but that is about me, don't forget. :)