Narcissistic ex-friend still impacting my life thru my son (possible dream warning)

[Grace222]

Two years ago, there was an accountability moment with a friend/neighbor for devaluing behavior. At the time, I loosely knew about narcissism, but from this experience I know more now and realize that this was what was playing out in my life.

It has been difficult, as narcissists are great in launching smear campaigns, impacting other relationships among neighbors, and worse among my own family.

Yet, after disengaging with this person and just spending time on healing and rebuilding, I came to a good place again overall.

Then last night I had this dream a woman tried twice to invade my home. It was subtle, but I had the feeling the questions she was asking in my dream were not normal and were meant to weave her way into my home for negative purposes.

Today, out of the blue after many months of my son not really hanging with her son, an invitation was extended for him to come over to spend time with this woman's son. *Big sigh* To stand in the way would instigate my son to rebel I think (he's 14). So, I allowed him to go for a bit. But I feel upset and uneasy. There is only so much I can convey to my son about the toxicity of that home. I do not know if he'd hear me (or even, at this stage in his life, understand). But I feel that a warning was given in the dream.

For anyone not acquainted with narcissism, this isn't about being bitter and unforgiving. I am - I'm very empathic, but that is what narcissistic individuals extort and prey on if you don't realize what is happening. Narcissists are very wounded individuals who seek emotional fuel at any cost - positive fuel includes demanding worship and admiration rather than true friendship, while negative fuel includes demeaning and sabotaging those around them to feel more powerful. It's a royal mess that I've learned you have to approach with the attitude of "not my circus, not my monkeys" and people-pleasing tendencies must be gone.

Anyway, right now, I felt the need to put this worry somewhere. Overall, at least I know what I'm dealing with, which I found was half the battle. Nevertheless, I worry for my son, as I do not relish the idea of this woman using my son as a pawn. I don't want to control his friendships; yet, this one is all levels of not good.