Remote viewing & Boundaries

thank you, yes sadly I think it was.

I have many good memories of him and the years we were together, he brought me much safety, stability and I felt very much loved by him. He was a good guy.

But you know those days he was young and guys that age, nobody thought he had a problem. And it got to be sensitive when I tried to say that it could be genetic and I meant that as that it did not have to be someone's fault, just genetic, I was only trying to help. I cared for him and did not want to see him go down that road. He was family to me. We were close.

At the time he had his drinking problem, when it got worse and we would fight about it, even with our fights it did not jeopardize our relationship, it stayed intact .Then his family fought me on the idea to get him to rehab (not thinking it was that serious that I knew it was by then) and he would tell me he would do it on his own. And so he quit on his own (which is one of the things that could very well kill you). Then he had anxiety some time after that but got through it and even during this time he was very good to me. He was always just very good to me, just very warm and loving and everything. Many get hostile etc with the drinking and he was never one of those.

I have thought if he did astral traveling or remote viewing and I can't tell either which or if it was both. I do have some strange occurrences later on but can't be really sure about what that is either.

I think he and I were at the same frequency regarding some things in life and we had our old connection (not romantic) so if he was in trouble, i felt it, and turns out if I was in trouble, he felt it, but other than that we both moved on romantically in life.

He had more short lasting relationships than I had and perhaps I should not speculate but I think that could have been down to him drinking maybe?

He would also just walk out of relationships out of the blue and did not seem to look back, friends would say.

I think even if he had developed his drinking problem during those years that other than that he had happy things going for him in life at that point, I know at least that it was a happy time for me, lots of things in life that were stable and positive. He was I remember very set on me so even if we had decided we were not to meet that day he would just show up anyhow. It was always as if he just wanted to be very close to me. So that could have been why he automatically maybe even managed somehow to do what he did.

If he knew how to do that could be he did not want to tell me anymore of it since I told him to please stop it and that he was frightening me (because also I could not make sense of it, how it could be).

Unlike what seemed to have been happening to you, I have no evidence what so ever that he would have talked to me about doing any of that, it was more term when he got angry when he would say stuff like "I SAW you". When he couldnt have.

I think maybe why I was important to him to maybe that degree was because it was an important and sort of innocent time in his life before, that I just happened to come around then, had I come around later maybe I would not have been.

As it was then during our break up it was as if I got one emotional punch after another and then after the last one it was as if my heart just did not beat anymore, you know the way they show it on those heart rate machines when there is just this straight line afterwards. It was like that.

It truly was as if my view of him, my romantic set of feelings for him, they just died, after that final emotional punch. Even afterwards as I tried to relive it, I couldn't'. So I always knew that somehow that I could not fall back in love with him. But it did not mean I hated him, I did not. But I just could not feel like that no more. Had not that one last emotional punch during the break up, afterwards, had come ,then who knows maybe then it would stil have been hope, but there just wasn't, it was too late.

[astralsuzy]

Originally Posted by ScientificExplorer

Positive Affirmations and Imagination to create your privacy

That is a great suggestion. That should work.

[Izz]

Hello asearcher

Yes it's possible your first ex did remote viewing perhaps even by accident, like the universe allowed it somehow for you and him at that time?

If you saw my other thread I talked about accidentally astral traveling to the space of an old friend's. I'm not even sure why. And I had never any interest to know the in's and out's of his life as we are not that close. We are just friends who knew each other since 2006 and stayed in touch on social media - you know, one of those friends you don't share deep stuff with or closeness but you keep in touch just like that (I don't even want to ask him abt it I think I even ap'ed to his place when an event was taking place and I don't want to freak him out)

If your first ex wasn't accidentally remote viewing, then perhaps he secretly had been very into astral travel and remote viewing but would not tell anyone

Ouch, it sounds difficult the one about the last emotional punch I felt the heaviness with it as you expressed

[Izz]

Asearcher,

Do you think the universe enabled him to do the remote viewing for a good reason? Perhaps you needed to know, despite his drinking problem and that final emotional blow, how much he really cared?

I have thought about why I accidentally astral projected to the space of a friend I know since year 2006. Yes we are not that close but he keeps up with my work and at times when he had viewed my work before I had felt warm vibes from him. So seeing him in the astral plane, perhaps I am just told that this is a warm and welcoming friend

And then in the dream world, I dreamed of another friend I know since year 2009. We are closer, this friend and I, and we had been to the same university together. It was a pleasant dream and he was laughing at me about us being "on the same running team." And then I woke up feeling some tranquility

It felt like God was sending me an extra reminder about warm memories and the goodness I've had in life, so to not be pulled by any confusion fog

This reminder done through both the astral world and dream world

Izz,

it is wonderful what you describe about your astral traveling by accident to your friend like that and how it made you feel afterwards.

I really can't tell, I have not looked at it from that perspective before how, why he was able to do that.

I know that twice during our love making (long periods in between) I had two very different I guess you could call it spiritual experiences. In one of them I knew someone I loved was in sudden trouble and interrupt what we were up to and began calling in a frantic way (on the phone).

Afterwards I knew I had some explanation to do and I was afraid he would see me as crazy. He said I had been all woman a moment ago and then a little girl the next. He would not push me to explain what had happened to me. He would not judge. I could tell he wanted to talk about it more, but I forbid him to. I couldn't explain it myself. And as before i was always afraid of my sensitivity and the history of mental illness in my family that was this hush-hush secret so I felt like that could have been a sign then that I was not mentally as stable as I thought or pretended I was. And even if one was to prove one was right they were then to be afraid of yo u.

I think when we broke up it was actually a trauma. It was something that happened suddenly, without warning. I had not been unhappy with him. I did not know had he been unhappy with me. I do understand there was a mental battle really going on with him as I had put my foot down and if he was to be with me then no drinking. I did try to help him but i got NO support, no support from his family, our friends, I was even worked against, I remember someone he knew would just force himself right in our home and be drinking naturally and so he would keep drinking. And I was seen by that someone as the enemy, as someone who was trying to control my fiance. I never liked that guy's energy, I knew he was bad news. I think also he was envious of what we had.

Before all this I thought for sure a family and friends would be by your side as you would tell the one with the problem that now you have to go to rehab, but they actually fought against me. The only one who stood by me was my mom, as she too knew exactly what this was about. And she would also later say that "of all the people (in his family and friends, surrounding, she too had been at those parties) he was the one to get hooked" and how tragic that was.

But anyways the break up came when we were so young still and I remember there was no support from his family to try to get us back together and I could feel that you know. That lack of support. Even if he later on would tell me they missed me and couldn't be happier and wanted to meet me again (this was when we began to date a short period years after our initial break up).

So being that young this was suppose to be nothing really, the break up. You were just suppose to get up and get on, get moving. It was taken for granted that he would find someone else and I would find someone else. That this wasn't a big deal.

But I realize now afterwards - that the break up in itself was trauma to me. He was home to me. Our home was home to me. I had completely let my guard down. Just shortly in relation to the break up he had leaned himself to kiss me on the side of my head and I swear I could feel his love for me in his kiss. Later on I thought was that his kiss goodbye? Had he decided already then?

It was no use fighting or talking to him about the break up later on as he would not buy my truth about what was said and what had happened. But then again he himself could not remember which I thought was strange and had difficulty believing, but now looking it up years later I have come to realize that he could have had a brain damage. That this is something that happens to people on the recovery even so even if they are sober and they can answer you just fine and seem to function fine (and he did) he will not remember. Besides shortly after the break up he showed up and to me it looked as if he had a heavy hangover, so I had a feeling it was on again. He got me out - and he drank. Mission accomplished. He got what he wanted. Never mind that he threw me under the buss.

He tried to manipulate me, I guess for the first time in our relationship, for me to accept his drinking and I wasn't having that. I had checked out.

He would later on during rehab call me (he wanted us to meet at first but I said no) and he then apologized. it was a short call and I was in a hurry (as i was afraid that my luv would check my cell phone later to see how long we talked, he knew we were going to talk). He would say I was the first one he called (and I can imagine they have a list of people they want to talk to to say they were sorry) and I joked with him and said that we better hurry up then as there must be many calls on his list, and he laughed too, we had the same twisted humor . I did get serious and said of course I forgive him and that I wished him truly all the best with his life and being sober. That was the last we spoke that day.

When once my luv saw him and me just talking at this big event he said later he got upset because to him it looked as if we were husband and wife, and when we tried to work it through he came to the conclusion that I had not done, said anything to indicate that, I had no romantic feelings for my ex, I truly had not, he had been around me for years before and I just did not have them and we saw each other as friends, but my luv said that he thought if he just got a chance, if we broke up, he would be right there and he could play the friend card or any other card, but that it was obvious to him the way he looked at me that he still had feelings. I tried to tell him that I think my ex pretty much had that for any woman then. How was I to know or help how he happened to look at me? Or if he really was that is, and now how my luv saw it?

And so my luv would have these strange nightmares he said where I kept withdrawing from him and that I was going to return to my ex. That in the dreams the ex was calling for me. I don't know what that was but I assured him that if something would happen it would have happened long before, before i even met my luv and fell in love with him. That my past with my ex had nothing to do with the present moment and us. That it would be then impossible for me to fall in love with another man if I was still in love with my first ex from so long ago.

Then out of the blue my first ex made a letter to me but my luv ripped it apart and the first sentence or so was that I was the love of his life. It had been years of silence now between us and all of a sudden that letter. I was fearful it was a suicide letter or a call for help and that I had to somehow retrace and call someone, do something, meanwhile my luv was furious.

What I think was the reason behind the letter is that my ex at the time was what he was going through at the time and did not know if he was going to make it, so it was not a suicide note, but it was a goodbye letter just in case he would die and not say what he wanted said before. Could also have been he was just single and wanted to try his luck. I am guessing he could have looked for closure or he could have looked for a new way in? I will never know. But it then gave my luv the right to say he knew it all this time and I Had not listened to him that my first ex was still into me that way but just hiding that he wasn't. But I don't know about that. He did have other girlfriends in the meanwhile. Maybe he was nostalgic about that time in his life when we had it going on as a total.

What I found strange is that when he would show up, my first ex that is, almost frozen in a specific position and just look during my astral travel. Like all of a sudden there he was, out of place to me. And I could not understand it then. Then I realize that was the moment when I was walking towards him after I had seen a psychiatrist and was to tell him I could not see him any more like that (in a romantic way, that I gave that up, we were also in two different places then in life, he was then sober, had a good job he liked, life in order, and I was at the bottom trying to untangle myself from the psychopath and was starting to understand I had to change my life completely. I had those stupid panic attacks and I was afraid I was never to be the woman he had remembered me to have been and that I did not want to drag him down with me. I did not want to use his love like that.). Anyways, so he turned up like that numerous times during astral traveling, like some sort of echo from my subcounscious. I know as I walked towards him I was still not sure what to do - if I should continue seeing him or not but then I made the decision to not. That he deserved better. I had very little to give of myself at the moment and that was not his fault.

After I realized all this - I don't see that frozen statue of him anymore from that moment.

I have had experiences as if it is him walking but faster than in real life zooming me by and also a smell of his type of cigarette and later on been awoken by my feet being tickled which i then did not remember only later that this is how he used to wake me up before he was off to work. i have thought if my subcounsciuos made him,t hese experiences or if it has been truly him and if so has he himself been just dreaming and it has happened or has he known fully from the get go this is what he is going to do and I have no answer to that.

[Izz]

Anyways, so he turned up like that numerous times during astral traveling, like some sort of echo from my subcounscious

Do you think that astral traveling linked to the subconscious world?

Perhaps your subconscious needed answers and he was thus allowed to astral travel?

I accidentally ap to a friend's place but perhaps my subconscious was reminding me something about my friends in general

Perhaps there would be more astral links with my friends although I could just ask them about it. But I don't know yet how to approach the subject of astral travel

Hi Izz, I don't know what I believe to tell the truth.

It seems the more I have thought of something, thinking OK now I got this and find the most logical reason in the most illogical of things, even then I am confused and seem just as lost as to what is going on.

If I should take a guess it is that I knew by the time I dated my first ex again that I had not slept well in a long, long time and I did not have the usual stop- and go - signs in me. So I just kissed him, out of the blue, I met him and I kissed him and instead of pushing me away asking what was wrong with me he put his arms around me and kissed me back, almost as if no time had passed between us when it had been years since our break up and years of just being casual friends.

I think I was kissing the memory of him, of us, and also while I was in the relationship with a psychopath-boyfriend I would get flashbacks when, if that one did something bad to lets say an animal or was just not giving anything to anyone, when I remembered how good my first ex had been for instance to an animal and so on. That he was my backbone, i was not alone. I was not crazy. But all I had were these old memories of my first ex, but I was also surrounded with enablers of course, I mean of course(!), it's the same old thing with narcs and psychopaths, they surround you with enablers, and so the psychopath's cold world was starting to become mine, was starting to become normal, and all I had that said NO, NO - this is not OK, this is not normal - it was the memories of my ex, that this is NOT how he had behaved as a human being, as someone in a relationship. That I wasn't alone thinking all this was wrong. I did not dare to confide to anyone.

So I think when I then happened to see him again as I was back there, and he was only talking, I did not have that stop-sign in me, and I kissed him.

I used to honestly think that me kissing him and started seeing him again like that (romantic) was down to me having too much lack of sleep and that I had made a mistake and I had tricked him (even if I had not planned it) and that I simply was not in a state of mind myself to be in a relationship at all, that I had to try to get myself together.

I left before I hardly got a foot in, so I broke things off early, too early I think to have hurt him, as he too must have been used to just seeing me as a friend. however the short time we were seeing each other again he was everything you would want in someone you dated. I did not tell anyone we were seeing each other as at the same time go figure, my ex (who refused to suddenly call himself my ex) refused to even let me have my old stuff back so I could close that door for good.

I cant say I thought that my first ex would get hurt by the second ex, it was not conscious in my mind, but it was more that OK I am acting in a way that isn't normally me and I have done something now (kissing him, seeing him again) that I am not ready for.

However, I have thought much later on that what if that moment right there - when I was walking towards him - my memory of him - frozen statue kinda, that look in his eyes - what if that moment right there was not at all about me facing up to my mistake of having loured him into something, me kissing him, me apologizing, what if that one right there - was one of the most important decision I was making about the rest of my life? Is that why it has reappeared like that?

he was saying wonderful things to me, he had saved the rings,and that I was still the same to him, that he had always loved me. He was not holding back. I remember I would see him in a park, day broad light, and i would talk to him about me not being able to sleep, and just coming out of a bad relationship.

I know one time he had somehow gotten my number while i was in the relationship with the psychopath and he called and i guess i did not know that was his new number so I took it and then found out. and it was as if he knew I was in a bad place, somehow. and he would say that he had to tell me a joke, or I thought of you today, to tell you do you know ... (they were going to do this or that, for example in our old neighborhood). But that one time I remember me saying OK what's the joke? and he was telling it and i remember tears were running down my cheeks as he did but I tried to laugh a little at the end. i never told him i was unhappy in the relationship i was in. i had only said before i was in a serious relationship and that he should not call me.

i know that after we had broken up that it was difficult for me at first to be friends, casual with him, but over time it really was as if his old self died and my romantic feelings with it, and that this new guy, this new friend - was really just that. I would tell him that too when I was seeing him again and he was like "When did I die?", and "I didn't die, I'm right here", and that he had always seen me as just me, the one and the same, and that he had always loved me, but he had truly become someone else to me throughout all this time.

What if I had not said that what I said and not seen him again like that, what if I had gone with what he wanted me to do, to give us one more chance, to take it slow, however slow I wanted it, and we could just go back to being friends (without benefits). He said what ever I would prefer "just please don't cut me out of your life again". I could not believe all the beautiful words he was saying to me and meanwhile all I felt was really ****ty about myself you know, and how I treated him. I did not want to treat him badly. throughout my memories alone of him in the past he had helped me when I was stuck in hell even if he did not know that and I could not tell him that. I do remember either thinking or saying it out loud to him that he was a "good man" and my eyes teared up, because even as I thought or said it, I knew I did not have a romantic set of feelings for him and I just did not know what to do with myself. What if my romantic feelings for him would have grown eventually? What if he would not return to his drinking (he would have relapses)?

Or is it this frozen-statue of him - him sending that out to me somehow, and why then one has to ask?

I was so ashamed of myself (not ashamed of him, his actions, how he was, he had done nothing wrong, the opposite) for having the panic attacks, for feeling as if I used him and I had still very little to give back to him (not at all how we used to be years before). He was finally in a good place and I feared I would drag him down with me. I didn't know what i was doing.

I have thought because I was in such a hurry, I had to stitch things up real fast, real bad - that somehow the impression of him, the frozen statue, somehow was in my subconscious, still?

There has been times during my astral travel that I suspect he is real, this froze statue, but sometimes I think my mind has re-created him, re-created that moment for what ever the reason, and he was just there, out of place really.

I wish I had an explanation for it, but all I got are speculations and loose theories.

I do think I have to let your words sink in more, and for me to try to think in new terms, new perspective and maybe one day hopefully know more, be more wise about the whole thing :) Thank you.

[Izz]

Hello asearcher

I think I further understand ap a little more and I'm thanking God for the pleasant experiences on the astral plane lately. I felt like I was being reassured in a divine way

I know one time he had somehow gotten my number while i was in the relationship with the psychopath and he called and i guess i did not know that was his new number so I took it and then found out. and it was as if he knew I was in a bad place, somehow. and he would say that he had to tell me a joke, or I thought of you today, to tell you do you know ...

My instinct says that subconsciously he knew you needed comfort then. Perhaps he was even able to remote view for some reason without asking for it

I understand there's uncertainty because of speculation and loose theories as you said but perhaps there were also certain life changing lessons

Thank you Izz :)

I have thought also that people would note (not just my luv) that he had an intensity in his eyes and I have suspected he had visions and if he had visions the way I suspect he had them he could hold them for a long time without trouble as if he was just riding on a wave, whilst someone like me have a short glimpse and then get tired (ha ha, I'm so hopeless).

I don't want to accuse anyone of anything but there were some signs that someone he knew was into "something" (spiritual but I suspect using it the wrong way).

When I once introduced someone (gifted) to a photo of his I got the same reaction he would normally give people, they either loved or hated him but no matter what there was a strong reaction. He would blame his looks for that (his face) that it was something up with that and I know he tried to sort of "melt in" but at the same time it was no use, he had too strong of a look or personality or both but he would honest to God not make an entrance, more so looking for the sofa and to just sit down and not speak unless being polite and smile, but I found out animals and kids were all over him, and he did not even try to make an effort.

There is something else that could have been bad news and that is that when he was a child he had a really bad experience with a priest, no less, and I remember us just walking pass and he saw the same priest and said some unflattering sentence why that priest was still alive. (I remember I thought at the time ok i guess a wedding in a church is out of the question then as we were engaged to be married, the engagement in itself seemed more important to him than to me, but again there you have it I come from a split family, and I've always been surprised that engagements, wedding is so important, I just think it is how you love someone that is, with a ring on or off so I have also felt like an outsider with girlfriends go gushing and all these rules of how it has to be, I think I have seen too much of people acting despite them being married and people not wearing their rings etc, but they would just say I was cynical. Sometimes it is hard when someone is trying to place conventional rules on me and call things tradition, as if tradition is enough of a word to get me to do something when I have my free will and all, hi hi. Could also be my mom had so many rules, social code rules and could give you a very strict, killing look across the room if you did not happen to hold your wine glas just this way and do this way, nod, and so on, that I grew tired of it already back in time, sometimes I think when we get an overdose of things we tend to kick in the other direction and do the opposite).

I don't know how it came about that whole priest-thing-bad-experience of his, but he was someone who always seemed to see through people, through their costumes or what it now was, and he was not impressed if someone tried to make themselves more important than others. He was on the edge of being shocking. I know he would do a perfect imitation of someone, right in front of them, to them, if and when they tried something as if he was both that person but also the participant. But if someone had good intention - he would do anything for you, just anything, but you know, he was not easily fooled.

He wasn't afraid. And I am thinking if he got the hang of it - and he was not afraid - and with his natural intensity - God only knows what he could have been up to.

I have thought maybe because of how he was built, and his natural intensity that that intensity alone, that glow in his eyes people saw, that he could have used that to focus if he did remote viewing or maybe even in a way astral traveling to expand himself somehow.

He had a very tender way towards me, very tender, very forgiving, very protecting, earthy (I don't know if the word earthy make sense, ha ha), and I think other people or possibly other partners saw more of his "dangerous side, than what he showed me. Then again I have been oblivient before in my past as bad boys they always sort of took 2 steps back and got to be "good boys" around me even while me just growing up, and I think that was down to chemistry, I had felt like a bad-girl because of my mom saying my dad was bad and that I was like him, so I think I had this secret, silent affinity with the bad boys, still today it is like that, in a way it is as if we are one and the same. When my luv met him he would tell me afterwards that that was a bad boy for sure and that he could not believe that could have been my choice in past boyfriend, but I did not see it even you know. I did not see my ex as a bad boy, but the things I knew about his past, things had happened to him as well to make him feel as if he was bad even though he wasn't, and I guess that experience with the priest symbolizing what was good but using it the wrong way in practice was something he saw through straight on.

I remember when I was to go through the entire rehab-thing, the papers, and those steps before introducing it to him, and the God-step in it I thought to myself this is going to be a problem. Not that he would go for satan, you know, but because he did not I think view religion in a way as something to offer him anything, and that could alone had to do with that priest but also something else he would say to me that did I really believe in a good God with all the suffering in this world, how God could just stand by and let this take place? So religion I don't think was his cut of tea, but I still think spiritually and the goodness in his heart - that was there.

Yes could be he felt that. He had this tendency to him to always show up and always say something both while we were a couple but also somehow afterward, I would end up bumping into him but then again we then lived in the same city, but still.

When I had cut loose from him when we were seeing each other again when I was not doing well mentally I later heard that he would call my family and I guess he somehow knew that I had not said anything to anyone about us seeing each other so he said that we had and that he had never seen me like this before and that if there was anything he could do, anything, to not hesitate to call him. I think my family was shocked as well because they had never seen me like that either. Well I had never seen myself like that either so I guess it was news for all. I think all that fear I had built up in my entire system had to get out, come to surface, and that was why I had those panic attacks but he got in the way of that, he even had to witness that and I felt ashamed about that while it happened and afterwards and I did not want him to see that. As I could not sleep he would tell me to call him in the night, that I knew him he too always had trouble with sleep and so I remember calling him when I couldn't but I could hear he was sleeping, I had woken him up, but he was still sweet about it and we were just talking, but after that (me waking him up) I did not call him again.
When i would try to explain to him that I was not the same girl he thought I was (and I meant that in a negative way), that I was bad news now, I remember he said to me that to him i would always be the same, I would always be "My..." and my name after, and he said in a way, and somehow when he used to speak like that it was as if people took his word for it, I know he said to me that way "You'll be fine".

I don't think he was as superficial as some are, I mean I know it was important to him to work out, stay strong, healthy that way in his body, but I know that there were comments that my looks had improved from when I was younger and I would overhear him say to someone that to him I had always been beautiful, that he did not at first know what they were talking about, but he was so used to seeing me every day then (when we were a couple), I think he saw more things on the inside if you were beautiful or not, the rest he did not care too much about. And I know with my "new looks" or what it now was, I was to later go on dates with someone good looking and would notice the prejudice and how somehow some people or the one I was dating categorized people in these "boxes" and I know I thought but I am not in this box you want to place me in. I know one guy who made the remark after seeing photos of me younger would say that was that really me, and what a great improvement it was to how I looked now, I completely lost it - and said that was the real me, that one, right there. My first ex - he would never speak of people like that, just never, it wasn't in his mentality and it wasn't in mine. so maybe that alone - looking beneath the surface, and releasing one self from the skins of others, that part of mentality is going to help I think, not locking yourself down to any rules and be more one, be trapped in a body, if you are to actually with your conscious suppose to do something else. I think that is why some people can't imagine past lives, and they can't imagine this or that is because they are too trapped in a way even if they don't think they are trapped, in their bodies and in the physical world, and I don't think he was. All that surface - it can change in an instant, it's so fragile and some people built up their entire lives on that, it is a rocky ground to stand on, I think.

[Izz]

..and that was why I had those panic attacks but he got in the way of that, he even had to witness that and I felt ashamed about that while it happened and afterwards and I did not want him to see that

I am really sorry to hear that

It sounds and feels like he had good intentions towards you, it felt to me like he was protective of you irrespective of ending up together in the end or not. Perhaps those pure intentions of his, enabled him to be able to astral project / remote view you when necessary. He was allowed to for good reasons