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29-03-2021, 10:39 PM
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Pathfinder
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 58
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Letting go of past relationships/friendships
Hello,
When you elevate, people get angry at you. You lose friends, and attrack new ones. Is that true? I had to let go of a lot of friendships, people who were only happy with me when I was unhappy in the past months. It's quite painful to be honest, but I do know it's for the better.
Anyone else experiencing the same thing?
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30-03-2021, 12:56 AM
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Master
Join Date: May 2019
Location: Auckland New Zealand
Posts: 1,911
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kays.
Hello,
When you elevate, people get angry at you. You lose friends, and attrack new ones. Is that true? I had to let go of a lot of friendships, people who were only happy with me when I was unhappy in the past months. It's quite painful to be honest, but I do know it's for the better.
Anyone else experiencing the same thing?
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Surround yourself with the things and people you love, the rest is meaningless, let go of all the hate/haters it's/thier worthless. Amen
__________________
Life is measured by how much one loves. The more love one has, the more abundant life is. Amen
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30-03-2021, 04:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kays.
Hello,
When you elevate, people get angry at you. You lose friends, and attrack new ones. Is that true? I had to let go of a lot of friendships, people who were only happy with me when I was unhappy in the past months. It's quite painful to be honest, but I do know it's for the better.
Anyone else experiencing the same thing?
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Hi Kays,
it is important to be honest about who we are, if we change, develop in some area, get a new "hobby", way of life, the ones who love you, and who you love may not share that passion or have understanding, but still it is important they respect you for it. Just as you respect them. You can still have a relationship with them, other things that connect you.
I think it can be too painful to break contact just because.
It sound strange to me that these relationship were only "successfull" like you describe when you were unhappy and they were happy. Were you unhappy because you did not dare to show who you really were, or am I reading you wrong? If that was the case/s then you could try to turn the tables around and see that they may not have been aware of you being unhappy?
We have our own responsibility for our own happiness. I have easily in the past point the finger at someone else, but it has to start with me. You did what you thought was best in the situation/s. But as it is so painful for you I think there are more value in these relationships that you may first have thought it was? If there are things that still connects you, I would reach out again.
I one time had to let go of a very old and dear friend of mine as she took side out of ignorance and manipulation of wanting me back with an ex who was unhealthy for me. 2 years after the break up she promised me I could go to a formal gathering and he would not be there. He wasn't. But very soon after he began calling, sending text messages. Even if I had not given my number to anyone (except for my friend and it was secret) he had gotten it. He would use her to get to me. I still have love for her in my heart and I don't regret our friendship, but I had to do what I had to do. What she did was out of ignorance, being manipulated. I had watch him manipulate people before, I knew his game. Just describing this as an example that she meant no harm, but it could be very harmful for me to continue our friendship.
But I let her go in love, you know what I mean? I think this is the way to give you peace. It is still sad, but it is not painful, and it is not frustrading. Some people are meant to be with you for a season, some for life.
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30-03-2021, 08:57 AM
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Master
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 7,152
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Yes, sometimes partners, sometimes friends.
But I never experienced that they get angry. The growing apart is a natural thing. The click has gone, the reason for the connection has gone.
Often it happens rather fast, sometimes it just slowly leaves your life. You notice you have nothing to say to one another anymore and the visits & calls get less and less until they've completely gone.
Sometimes it saddens me a bit, and I want to latch on to it, from sheer nostalgia. But it just won't work anymore.
But anger... never had that happen.
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30-03-2021, 11:15 AM
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Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,342
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You have to be honest with yourself first and foremost. always trust your intuition,
it is normal to outgrow your friends, they are stuck in their ways and you are liked a caged animal. wanting to fly.
if they are true friends then they will understand this,
if they dont cut yourself free.
Namaste
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11-12-2021, 01:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by utopiandreamchild
Surround yourself with the things and people you love, the rest is meaningless, let go of all the hate/haters it's/thier worthless. Amen
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Sometimes its hard to let go.... Especially if you love them so much
Last edited by Bambo : 12-12-2021 at 12:50 AM.
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14-12-2021, 12:30 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 191
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Interesting timing of this topic, I was just pondering this since I've had some former friends on my mind out of the blue. I fell out with one of them (the rest were her friends but I may have arguable spent more time with another one by default than her). This was probably fifteen or more years ago now.
The friend I fell out with made it clear that she was getting together with me only because her boyfriend was going out of town and she couldn't talk him out of it, and then wondered why I never called her. Also she pressured me to date a guy at my work who creeped me out.
Her friend, who was the one who came to my mind first, lived near me and had a car and I didn't so she'd put us together making plans. I had a mild crush on him off and on but knew that we had nothing in common and I didn't think he enjoyed spending time with me.
So the last time me and the girl talked, my grandfather was dying and all she cared about was why I didn't call her and had nothing to say about my grandfather. Oh and of course that her other friend finally got a girlfriend and kind of went on and on about how it'd been a long time since he had a girlfriend. I knew she had some kind of angle for that but I don't know what it was. I just said he probably waited for someone he liked and that was it. It was so weird.
That catapulted into that her and I are on different life paths and that I'm finally sick and tired of feeling forced to conform to standards of how she says I'm supposed to think and feel and act. It's okay to go different ways. It sounded like a bad breakup honestly.
Nobody ever called me after that conversation or stopped by and that told me all I had to know about these people I'd spent time with for years. Even though it hurt and befuddled me I moved on.
The other Friday night a memory of the one guy just came to my mind out of the blue and I couldn't think for the life of me as to why, but they've been in my mind since then. Only I don't feel that I have anything to say to them. I could wager that being back in my hometown with past negativity is affecting me and causing this or maybe deep down I really do have something to say to these people, I don't know. It is strange...
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14-12-2021, 12:31 AM
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Knower
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 191
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That's just one example I might add. I've lost many relationships for not conforming to something somebody else wants me to be.
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15-12-2021, 12:24 PM
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Master
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,918
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It makes sense. Upon entering a stage of my life of which I left behind doubts and second-guessing, I know there are people who would not be happy with that and try to cut down at every opportunity
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