Same old ThatMan

[Unseeking Seeker]

@ ThatMan ~ wait and watch I guess, unless you do a session with an accomplished medium to find out for sure. The way you describe it does not leave a comfortable feeling … it may be advisable to strengthen your auric field by visualising pulsating white light. The light is your higher Self, one with God.

[ThatMan]

@Unseeking Seeker Thank you for your very much appreciated advices!! :)

It seems to be gone ( at least for now ) and my meditation came back to normal, took a long walk in nature yesterday. I used to take many walks, every day, but I've been so busy lately that I always postpone this.

[ThatMan]

My latest experiences paint a different picture regarding this presence, which may not even have been an outside entity or may not even have anything to do with the turmoil experienced.

I say this because I now have a better idea what's happening - unconsciously I am doing some sort of shadow work and when I black out while meditating I do not black out I just can't remember but I am very much active and aware doing things.

I meditated and lost consciousness and then suddenly woke up in the middle of this process of shadow work and I knew 100% what was happening ( like I remembered where I was in that moment of black out ), I was being shown moments from my past, like watching a movie about my past and I was actively working to "deal" with the stuff.

For example when my parents left my grandma house and we moved to a new location which broke my heart into million pieces for I dearly loved and love my grandma. I was being shown my grandma all alone suffering and all the moments that followed after that.

@Unseeking Seeker you were 100% correct about trauma and things like that but it was and it is happening in a way that "hides" it from my waking consciousness.

[ThatMan]

One of the experiences I really love about meditation is the "slow down", when your entire being suddenly stops and calms down, relaxes deeply, let go, falls within itself, settles down, grounds itself into itself, rests deeply, when movement stops, when worries fade away, and suddenly that weight, that heaviness is no more, and one is light as a feather.


This experience is most noticed when one is deeply restless and can't sit still, mentally or physically, and suddenly that restlessness stops.

Happened to me last session of meditation and I loved it for it's been quite some time that I've been able to rest deeply.

[ThatMan]

Lately I've been experiencing something that I can only describe as hearing the rain, the problem is that when I become aware of this, it goes away. There are those videos on Youtube where you can use your headphones and listen the rain, just like that except I do not use anything, no headphones, just silence.

[ThatMan]

Middle of the night, out of nowhere, experiencing massive anxiety, like for no real reason, I kept asking myself how I am doing this to myself, what's the reason for this, there's no actual source of true anxiety for me and yet I was drowning in anxiety, could not sleep, could not stay in one position in my bed, kept moving on and on. My mind was racing, my body was itching, I was feeling like I was heating up.

This kept on for hours when suddenly I changed my pose and now I was on my stomach and I noticed that I hear and feel like I am in the water, like under water, like water is flowing all around me. When I noticed this I somehow knew that I can slow down the water, the flow of water, and in doing so I will calm myself down. And it worked, like magic. The waters went like from a rushing river to like moving really really slowly, and I could feel it slowing down, slower and slower and slower.

All anxiety went away, my entire body became still, my mind completely empty, peace like I have rarely felt, and I fell asleep. What's interesting is that I was fully aware of this ( hearing and seeing the water but the water was like invisible in the sense that it appeared like void but it was there and it felt liquid ) and it lasted. I really spent some quality time observing it.

Woke up in the morning and once again the anxiety rush was there and once again I was able to experience the water flow and slow it down which in turn calmed my body-mind relationship.

I thanked God, the universe, my grandma, whoever helped me, that never happened before.

What it felt it was that all my years of meditation were paying off, I was able to tap into a level of consciousness thanks to my constant daily meditation. It felt like that. For over a year now I've been having a hard time meditating more than like 40 minutes, like always reaching a point of extreme anxiety but I pushed myself a bit more and a bit more.