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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

 
 
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Old 12-01-2022, 07:37 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Master
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 1,449
 
Vanity Collision

i'm afraid my kids dad's family's attitude about weight is dominating and is not a good subject around children, my around a sensitive age too. in the past i used to have fights with the kids dad as he was controlling me, was right there what he thought i should weight or not, type of clothes, hair, that he had to approve what kind of bathing suit or bikini i was to wear to not reveal too much as if i could not make those decisions myself, which i find insulting. i never told him anything in return, i let him be.

as i have gained some weight still not overweight his family has commented. i am suppose to be a role model as a mom, and this has gotten to me. the kids dad is vain because of how he was raised I think. He would claim during our split up that he had changed his mind that he did love me now (my weight) just as I am and had apologized like crazy for making the remarks he had done before. He made me before insecure and he had no good reason to do that, but that is a rule from his first family.

I have not been left alone by first family's comments on my weight, he has replied back to lay it off, but i know too as the weight and looks are such dominating subjects within this family that it won't change. I have not come up with any more clever replies besides saying yes I have gained weight and I feel good. Is there any clever remarks one can make? It does not effect me as I am happy the way I am but I do believe in exercise and eating healthy, but I do not put so much efforts on looks as he has been raised like. I don't want any kid to get any stupid ideas and the way it is represented by his first family is misguiding. Like no one cares kids get to hear this and how it can effect them and how they look at their bodies already and at other bodies. I just don't like this at all.

Before I met and fell in love with him, I dated another guy that was too was looked at as really "hot", but he bored me as he was too superficial and acted as if he thought himself as superior, and that he thought of me too as superior. My looks I've been told had changed for the better (even if I had not done anything for that to happen) and I have heard comments before (not from the hot guy, someone else) when seeing pics of me before saying that had I stayed looking like that he wouldn't have been interested. I could not see what was wrong with the "old" me, and told him that this is me, that has always been me, that is me right now too. What's your problem? How do you relate to people, really? How do you relate to me?

If it gets too much for me to listen to all that look-talks and weight-talks, I can't stand the idea of it going into innocent children's ears as it does, and they are totally oblivious to it (the grown ups). What can one do? Are there any good lines to use? I've been underweight too in my life and was then always told to eat more and then too I got bored hearing about it. I'm just afraid it will all have a negative effect on the kids. I am not at all used to looks and weight being talked about like that from my own first family. I need some good lines to fight this! :)
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