Looking for some input on how to 'break open' a 'ball' of repressed stuff

[Antheia]

Hi there

I wish I knew what to call this - if anyone knows, please help. Basically, when I was a little girl a whole bunch of traumatic stuff happened. At that time I 'enclosed' all this stuff in what feels to me like a glass ball. I know it is there and I can glimpse inside, but it is all separated from me.

Now this would all be fine if it wasn't for the fact that it is almost like having a boil, the poison is leaking out. I want to lance this boil and get the stuff out and then clean it all out. I just don't know how. My mind is like a guardian. It simply is not allowing the bubble to break.

Any suggestions? And also, is there a psychology term for this?

Thanks

I am in the same boat with you except I used a chest wrapped in chains and wrapped that around with a cloak and put it all inside a box and locked the lid at least that is what I visualized I was doing with anything bad that happened while I was a child. I would love to be able to get rid of it because I know that if I do then I would not have as many self esteem issues as I do

Originally Posted by SadFlower

Hi there

I wish I knew what to call this - if anyone knows, please help. Basically, when I was a little girl a whole bunch of traumatic stuff happened. At that time I 'enclosed' all this stuff in what feels to me like a glass ball. I know it is there and I can glimpse inside, but it is all separated from me.

Now this would all be fine if it wasn't for the fact that it is almost like having a boil, the poison is leaking out. I want to lance this boil and get the stuff out and then clean it all out. I just don't know how. My mind is like a guardian. It simply is not allowing the bubble to break.

Any suggestions? And also, is there a psychology term for this?

Thanks

Then there are likely things, or something, that need to be looked at first to relieve some pressure and possibly lead you further.

The problem is not always trauma, it can be something as simple as not understanding a stranger's look.

Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and let what comes up come up. Look it over to your satisfaction. As you go through the process it will get easier. You may or may not ever have to tackle your childhood bubble. What is going on is unconscious to you. You don't know what it is. (Nor does anyone else) Let your feelings tell you what you need to do.

It can be a good idea to write down your experiences or tell someone about them. That ensures you are not carrying them around with you, trying not to forget.

Good luck!

[Miss Hepburn]

I can only say what I did...in therapy my therapist had me relax and breath...then close my eyes
and picture the offending people from my childhood.
I lined them up...she said say or do anything in your mind you want to...scream, hit them...whatever....I did.
I cried...then she taught me to pick past memories and instead of being helpless and powerless
with these terrible adults...as a 5 year old or 17 yr old...picture saying to them what
you 'should' have if you were a clear, strong adult.

I did...thus I re programmed the outcome of each terrible thing...telling the adult off basically.
My subconscious mind had those memories instead!

Very powerful method, imo.

Do this alone in your bedroom with no one around bec
you will cry or scream at them, maybe...what a cleansing!!!

Put their pictures in front of you on your bed, maybe,
to get your emotions stirred up.
Take care

And this is just one way.

[Miss Hepburn]

PS there is this funny aspect of the subconscious mind.
It can not tell what is in the imagination or what is 'real'...really happening.

Ex...lay down and really picture you are on the beach...take in all the smells and
sounds and heat of the Sun...if you had monitoring electrods on you...
you would register all the signs of a person relaxing on the beach.

Your subconscious mind can be your BEST friend....learn to re-program it.

We have an Affirmation section here...visit it...they work to
change the low self esteem tapes that play in our heads!

[Antheia]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

I can only say what I did...in therapy my therapist had me relax and breath...then close my eyes
and picture the offending people from my childhood.
I lined them up...she said say or do anything in your mind you want to...scream, hit them...whatever....I did.
I cried...then she taught me to pick past memories and instead of being helpless and powerless
with these terrible adults...as a 5 year old or 17 yr old...picture saying to them what
you 'should' have if you were a clear, strong adult.

I did...thus I re programmed the outcome of each terrible thing...telling the adult off basically.
My subconscious mind had those memories instead!

Very powerful method, imo.

Do this alone in your bedroom with no one around bec
you will cry or scream at them, maybe...what a cleansing!!!

Put their pictures in front of you on your bed, maybe,
to get your emotions stirred up.
Take care

And this is just one way.

Thank you so much for this. I have done quite a bit of this, on my own and with the help of a therapist. It works a little bit, but my mind is OK allowing the grief out, but not the anger. It simply shuts it down. I know what the issues are and I can feel the powerless feelings strongly. I can also feel the anger leeching out a little, but it never feels relieved because my mind shuts it down before I can get it out. I have tried writing 'angry letters', punching a pillow, running, crying, and on and on. My mind is like a steel trap. And I understand it thinks it is keeping me safe, but right now it is keeping me stuck.

I do use affirmations daily and I meditate daily and have been doing so for quite some time. I am at a stage now where I can almost see this 'ball' of stuff. I just cannot get at it. I just want to let it go already!

I am usually very good at doing visualisations and shifting things that way, but lately my mind is not allowing me to visualise, I lose focus or drift off or get distracted. I have tried to see a hypnotherapist and each time I make an appointment, I find out that the person used to do hypnotherapy, but no longer does that (they tell me this when I come for the appointment, so it costs me money each time too!)

Miss Hepburn, I have read a lot of your posts on the manifesting threads and I love them. So I do appreciate the input very much. I have spent decades in this hole and I now want to change things, so very much.

[LadyMay]

Where does the ball feel physically?

[Antheia]

Originally Posted by Augadelume

I am in the same boat with you except I used a chest wrapped in chains and wrapped that around with a cloak and put it all inside a box and locked the lid at least that is what I visualized I was doing with anything bad that happened while I was a child. I would love to be able to get rid of it because I know that if I do then I would not have as many self esteem issues as I do

Hugs to you! I hope we both find a way.

[Antheia]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

Where does the ball feel physically?

Mmm, interesting, I hadn't thought of asking myself this question. I sat with this for a while. I think the sphere is not inside my physical body. It feels as though it is held in my energy field, but it floats free. But it is also part of me. I am going to think about this some more because that doesn't really make sense.

Originally Posted by SadFlower

Hugs to you! I hope we both find a way.

Thank you and back at ya dear