How to help someone who is afraid?

[Illumine]

Sorry that I didn't exactly know where to put this

I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how I could help my mum. She is terribly afraid of death and dying, will cry about it for hours as soon as it's mentioned. One of our friend's lost their dog recently and I designed and printed the Rainbow Bridge to cheer her a little and it seemed to make my mum feel a bit more contented but she worries so much about it still. It gets to the point where she worries about it constantly and I don't know what I can say to her about it. This fear of death kind of leads me onto the other aspect of what my mum is afraid of..

she is a natural clairvoyant, but is terribly afraid of it. She told me recently that every night she just gets hundreds of images pop into her head and she tries to ignore them (she is afraid of it all) but it doesn't stop. She said she's had this as long as she can remember and I think it contributes to her problems sleeping because she just sees things all night long. She has had deceased relatives speak to her and she's seen them numerous times but anytime that she does, she ends up crying and is terrified. I have tried explaining that they won't hurt her and that she can ask anyone to leave if she doesn't want their presence but I don't know if the thought is really helping her much.

I really do worry about her, it's not good for her to be this afraid. Is there anything I can say or do that would help her do you think?

has she ever been to see a therapist or a doctor for any of this? why is she so terrified of her clairvoyance? did it start at a certain age or just been there her whole life? is there something that triggered it? sorry, just asking questions.

[Illumine]

No it's fine, it's good to ask questions! I forget to tell things . She's been to counselling once and really didn't like it, we've never been able to get her to go again. She is one of those people who worries about everything and panics a lot, it seems to have become worse as she gets older really.

She hasn't really said much about the clairvoyance but knowing her I can make a few guesses myself. The fact that these images come to her head without her thinking them, probably frightens her because she feels she can't control them (or doesn't know how to). She seems fixated on this idea that spirits will hurt her. When she was younger and still living with her parents she always said there was a ghost in her bedroom and she seems to have become extremely frightened from that point onwards (maybe it was a trigger?). She doesn't talk about it much and has never mentioned bad experiences so we don't really know if she had a horrible experience or not (but I guess if she's frightened, all of it is horrible)

For example, on Halloween just gone, we went outside taking photos in the garden to see if we could see any orbs/spirits etc. I took a photo and we saw a tall white shape on it and I'd felt a presence near me. Immediately she looked at it and could feel it was her Grandad so she went out and called him (thinking nothing would happen). She came in crying, absolutely terrified saying that something awful had happened to her. Apparently she'd called him and then suddenly right where I'd taken the photo a light started to appear there, she got frightened and ran away. She spent the rest of the evening really upset and drunk quite a bit of wine in order to sleep/calm down. So although that may not have been a dangerous or particularly bad experience by some people's judgement, to her it was absolutely terrible.

It becomes difficult to her to see any reason when it comes to this fear. She doesn't like talking about it and wouldn't go see a doctor or anything. On the other hand, for her to visit another clairvoyant, she is not frightened at all. She is just terrified of experiencing it herself..

well what about her joining this site? maybe reading other people's experiences and what others go through would help????? knowing there are other people that go through what she does and are afraid like she is???? maybe joining a group in her area to be around other clairvoyants??

http://www.google.com/search?q=clair...ient=firefox-a

Depending on what her beliefs are you may be able to explain that we have personal guides who are nonphysical. If this would just cause more fear, explain these as guardian angels (GA) who are w/ us always. These GAs are w/ us always & will be there to help us & escort us on our journey when we die. If she is into organized religion, put this in the context of escorting us to heaven. Those who are heavily into fear can often relate to the GAs.

Whatever her spiritual beliefs, let her know that she can vet & order any beings she doesn’t want to be around her to scram, even in a dream. The vetting instructions can be modified to work for someone w/ organized religion beliefs. Even is she isn’t immediately receptive of this, let her know that many use these vetting instructions, then don’t push her about this. Plant the seed & let it grow.

Vetting Nonphysical Entities- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...d=1#post156097

Negative Spirits Or Just Our Imagination- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=19290

If she fears her nocturnal images, this will be a beacon to the stalled 4D jokers. You can summarize the information that is appropriate for her from the above 2 links. Although it seems you’ve already told her the same things, sometimes those we are close to will consider it more valid if it is from an outside source.

Her fear is another issue. While it might not be effective to explain fear from an energetic issue about how it lowers our frequency & the Law of Attraction, maybe some common sense advice like fear never helps us deal w/ things may help. Relating stories of what you’re read on a spiritual site about others who have overcome the same fears may be more effective than directly addressing these. Mentioning that others discuss seeing energy in various ways including seeing spirits & ghosts may be useful in helping her move past this fear. Use what works w/ her.

Fear Deconstructed- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...009#post156009

It is likely that she is FAR from being able to move into TRUSTing her self, but if she believes God is love based, perhaps you can suggest that this benevolence & love is protective about these issues. Many are fearful of spirits as organized religion has worked for millennia to convince us that they are more powerful than us & that we have no ability to deal w/ them. We do. Given that this upsets her so much don’t encourage her to do things like participating in making contact.

What upsets her so much about making contact w/ deceased relatives? Dying?

You can function as a wayshower w/ her, but you can only do so much. Productive distance is difficult when we have empathy for someone close, but it is necessary for your own spiritual development. You can provide her the information & loving support, but you can’t take the steps for her.

She sounds like she has allot of generalized anxiety. This is normal w/ those who are immersed in fear. An inexpensive supplement, L’ Theanine, the calming portion of green tea, can be taken as needed for acute anxiety & is effective for taking the edge off. I know someone who had a very serious anxiety disorder who used this & other neurotransmitter supplements to first get off Paxil, then taper off the supplements. This isn’t a substitute for dealing w/ the underlying fear, but blunting anxiety or fear once it emerges can be useful to help stop the downward energy cycle. Could be preferable to self medicating w/ allot of alcohol. Nondrowsy supplement.

This isn’t medical advice or a diagnosis.

EFT can be very useful if she is willing to use it.

[Emmalevine]

Gosh that sounds like what happens to me! Has she looked up information on Kundalini awakening? If not perhaps you could suggest this to her to see if any of that resonates with her experience?

The fear is horrible but in time it does ease, or at least it did for me. Ask her to get sound grounding crystals and use some grounding techniques like putting white light around herself. Suggest that she focusses on love and light rather than the negative things as fear tends to attract fear. Feel free to pm if you need any more information.

[Illumine]

She doesn't know how to use a computer yet, she wants to learn and maybe once she does I can direct her here, it's a good idea!

Thank you for all the information Mattie! Yes she does have a lot of fear, she has actually started having panic attacks about driving which come and go. After her marriage breakdown when I was young she was on antidepressants for a long time and has had numerous health problems so I guess it all contributes in the long run. I'm trying to explain and suggest these things to her but it takes a long time because she's not always open to new ideas!

On that note though, I did explain to her that if she doesn't want to see images, she could just say that she doesn't want to see them right now and for them to leave her to sleep which she said did work last night so there's something. I keep calling on the angels to look after her because it seems to have been at the forefront of her mind in recent times but we had quite a talk about it the other night and maybe that will be something to build upon.

It's a really good point you make about the guardian angel because she says her grandmother is hers and sits at the end of her bed so I could use that as something to explain things, she says she is Christian but recently found herself feeling confused about God so I'm wondering if the whole death thing is getting to her a little bit too much.

I don't want to force her or anything but I can see the effect it has on her, with the crying and fear, and I think for her own benefit she needs to find some peace with it all. If I can help her open her mind up to it (because she can be very stubborn and narrow minded) that'd be great and then the rest is up to her. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, right? tongue:

I don't think she'd even know what Kundalini awakening is Starbuck! I'd have to ask her about how she feels more though to get a picture of if it is that because she doesn't like to speak about it much. I think she just gets too consumed in fear really. Maybe I could look into the crystal thing for her, or speak to her about meditation which might help too. I don't know much about crystals but supposedly they can be beneficial if you wear them or keep them near you, is that right?


Thank you all for your help! It's difficult for me to know what I can do when I'm really only just getting on with my own journey in this. All I know is the other night her fear really disturbed me, I could see just how pronounced it was and really felt like I should try and do something so thank you for your suggestions, I really appreciate it!

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is having such a hard time with all of this. As for her seeing/having contact with her own relatives - maybe try pointing out to her that they are coming to her to tell/show her that she shouldn't be afraid- that they are there to help her and comfort her, not to scare her!
What are her beliefs about the afterlife? Maybe the images/spirits she sees are just so contrary to what she has always tried to believe that she's actually scared that she's wrong, or that there's more to life and death than she wants to admit. Not sure what can help her with this - she will need to come to terms with it herself and find a way to make peace with it all.
The number one thing you may want to tell her is that her fear will just make spirits come to her more - especially negative ones - they will feed off of that fear - she has to find the will to tell them to stop and go away, and mean it!
Just my thoughts...:)

Fear is very powerful but can be easily overcome

It really just takes faith. Anytime i need to overcome fear i just think to myself "God is in me so all is well". Doing this over a long period of time, it goes from words, to a feeling, to having faith in the meaning of the words, to believing its true, to knowing its true.

Meditating on this thought speeds up the process. Once you do this, and in being patient, you will fear nothing.

The problem is getting people to believe it and understand it. So good luck with that. I dont see how you can be clairvoyant and afraid of death, but everyone needs to find peace for themselves. In saying this, all you can do is try to help her but she needs to figure it out for herself. Dont let her faults or problems keep you from finding your peace.

Sounds like mom may need some therapy to help her understand why these things are happening and overcome her fears. I agree with GGpeace you need to find some peace within yourself so you do not suffer the same fate as your mom.