Bounced back from painful rejection

[Flexi-Girl]

Yesterday something very special happened to me, and I wanted share it here for other members as inspiration and also to feel better. Recently I experienced a painful rejection, and no matter how much I consoled myself, and told myself that rejection is OK, I couldn't seem to make the pain go away completely. I am not overly sensitive, and I realize rejection happens to everyone, but why did I still feel like such a loser? Why was I still racked with this shame if it truly wasn't about me?

This weekend my answers came to me. I was around town searching for a new apartment, and I wasn't sure where to begin my search. I am new to the area. Not having a real plan, I just started driving around stopping at random apartment buildings here and there. As I discovered aspects that interested me, I would boldly ask people of chance who looked like they lived in these buildings what they thought. Overall people seemed eager to share their opinions with me as it gave them a chance to speak their mind. Doing this I noticed their expressions went from dull to bright.

There was this one girl I approached. She seemed a little shy but came to life immediately when I asked her about this location. She was more than eager to tell me everything she liked about this place. Soon our conversation shifted to other things. In that time I found out she was from another country, and she was very lonely because she doesn't really know anyone and has no friends. I told her she has a friend now. We only talked for a few minutes, but in her broken English she explained how much happier she felt having someone actually pay attention to her.

This surprised me because to be honest, I was just more interested in finding a nice place for myself. Yes. I was only mildly interested in the lives of these random people and yet somehow made their day brighter.

How can this be? If I am a such a loser, how can I make other people feel good? Then it hit me. As much of a loser as I was feeling, there are probably other people all around that feel just as much of a reject or worse. So in an unexpected way, I gave someone else a sense of acceptance. No pity, just acceptance, and all I did was pay attention.

As I was driving home I realized that I too, no longer felt like a loser. I feel that my random encounter with this girl healed her rejection while at the same time healing me of mine. That's why I want to share this.

Anyone here who feels painfully rejected, please remember this. You are so much more than the rejection you experience. You don't have to wallow in the pain and loneliness of that rejection. Give someone else who needs it , the gift of your seemingly insignificant acceptance, even for a minute and you'll see what a loser you aren't. Suddenly or sooner than later, you're confidence and self esteem will go way up. You'll feel like you can do things you never thought possible, and you'll wonder how you found what's missing in yourself.

The best thing is, it doesn't even take you being anything more than who you are. Pay attention to someone else, that's it, a random person maybe. Be the opposite of rejection. So I hope if any one of you here ever feels that way, you'll remember this post and try it for yourself.

^_^thanks for sharing your experience, it was really nice to read something as positive as this... I need positive things! and you are right... you opened my eyes! thank you :)

[Flexi-Girl]

You're welcome. Thanks for reading this.

Thanks for sharing! What a wonderful experience. Out of adversity came the ability to bounce back via connecting with another being.

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

Pay attention to someone else, that's it, a random person maybe.

:) I was on an outing with my husband (working shifts means we get very little time together), so just wanted to enjoy his company when someone familiar spotted us and sat next to us. This person is a friend of a friend, however I wouldn't call him my friend or even someone I would go out of my way to talk to. He brought along his niece who plonked herself next to me. Great! Just what I didn't need.
When I turned around to ask the lady behind me if she could see, she responded with "yes, but I don't think my kids can". Great! Not only did I feel stressed sitting with a chatterbox, I also felt guilty for sitting in a place I had every right to!

I was sitting there thinking 'I can remain grumpy for the entire race, or, give in'. I gave in.

I noticed the niece was partially sitting on a fence post, so I jumped down from my spot, opened up my blanket for her to sit on and moved over so that she had the comfortable spot. I then turned to the little boy behind me and said that he was more than welcome to sit next to us or stand directly behind us if he couldn't see. To my surprise he jumped up and plonked himself in between my husband and I - on a blanket I had folded to hand to my husband to sit on (my husband missed out, lol).

Throughout the race I noticed two things. The boy happily chatting to my husband, and the chatterbox's smiling eyes when he bombarding me with statements about certain cars and maneuvers. Plus the lady behind me happy that her son could see the race!

I gave in to the situation, and was surrounded by happiness. I too couldn't help but feel it in the end:)

[MIND POWER]

Stop seeking for people's approval Flexi-Girl. If you constantly seek for their approval you will always be their slave. If you give out that aura, people know about it and some take advantage. This is not a good attitude to have for a woman or a man.

If the truth is out numbered by 1 million its still the truth, it seems like you rate yourself on what other people think to much. Everyone does this to a certain extent (like people you respect and admire), but if this is your only measuring stick its a very fragile way to live.....

Also you should not be using words like (Loser) & (Rejection) to described yourself, words have power. I don't know how you can describe yourself as a loser, you seem quite independent person.

Sort it out, don't refer to yourself as that again.....

Maybe the reason why people where, interested in you. Was because you was just going about doing your thing, and not seeking approval. I have just read the bottom of your post, so yes! basically that's what you was doing.

You will fine.

[4you007]

Thank you Flexi , you also healed me