Why am I not allowed to exist?

[MatteoFontes1996]

It's one thing when people around me dont want me to exist. i can deal with that. but when forces in the universe dont want me to exist and impede on my happiness what can I do? Is there a story or something in a religious text about somebody who is always bothered by the universe or people around him?

It's not about what the universe does or doesn't do. It's about how you perceive and react to what the universe does or doesn't do. Put another way if you're waiting for the universe to change to suit you, you'll be waiting an awful long time. Put yet another way if you believe the universe brings you happiness and suffering that's a mistake. There's only one entity that brings you happiness and suffering and when you look in the mirror you're looking at it.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by JustASimpleGuy

It's not about what the universe does or doesn't do. It's about how you perceive and react to what the universe does or doesn't do. Put another way if you're waiting for the universe to change to suit you, you'll be waiting an awful long time. Put yet another way if you believe the universe brings you happiness and suffering that's a mistake. There's only one entity that brings you happiness and suffering and when you look in the mirror you're looking at it.

if other people are mean to you often enough, you know not to buy such tripe...

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

if other people are mean to you often enough, you know not to buy such tripe...

Okay, then what's the solution? Can other people be forced to think like we want them to think? To like, respect or love us the way we want them to like, respect or love us? Beyond that can the universe/nature be bent to our will? To be made to bestow the life upon us we think we deserve?

https://mindfulnessmeditation.net.au/arrow/

‘If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful? If the person is struck by a second arrow, is it even more painful?’

He then went on to explain,

‘In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. This second arrow is optional.’


We can enforce boundaries with mean people and I'm not suggesting otherwise, however we cannot cut ourselves off from the world and we will have to deal with some. Beyond that we certainly have to deal with whatever nature and the universe throws our way. That's unavoidable.

So I ask, what's a better strategy? Try to deal with each new situation ad-hoc and as it comes up by attempting to change the external elements of a situation which are more than likely beyond our control or take a methodological and longer-term approach and change the one thing we do have a measure of control over (ourselves) to not be so reactive and not take things so personally? It seems to me one approach is doable and the other is a fool's errand.

I know how miserable life is when it's viewed as the universe being out to get us. Been there, done that and I have no intention of going back to that mode of being. I decided to change the one thing I had the power to change and that was me and I'm all the better for it. If I can do it so can others and that's the advice I would give.

How to do this? One way is meditation and especially mindfulness meditation. https://youtu.be/5TeWvf-nfpA?list=PL...pVnPNokg&t=886

Or we can roll over and cry into the wind "Why me?" but that really doesn't help much, does it? It also doesn't help much agreeing with another how much the world sucks and that mean people suck too and unless that changes one is doomed to suffering and misery, does it?

I'm not unsympathetic, just pragmatic.

[JustBe]

[quote=JustASimpleGuy]Okay, then what's the solution? Can other people be forced to think like we want them to think? To like, respect or love us the way we want them to like, respect or love us? Beyond that can the universe/nature be bent to our will? To be made to bestow the life upon us we think we deserve?






The future is in your hands.

So as you see and feel is how the world around you is created through you. Regardless of "why me" coming through others your view in you is what models to another as they are.

"Am I controlling the way others and myself engage"

Or am I accepting of all ways and offerings through others and model in total acceptance of everything in myself and the other.

The term 'there is no other' is myself.

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by MatteoFontes1996

It's one thing when people around me dont want me to exist. i can deal with that. but when forces in the universe dont want me to exist and impede on my happiness what can I do? Is there a story or something in a religious text about somebody who is always bothered by the universe or people around him?

Yes stories of the mind created by others can become your own. You can feed in any way created to what is, or you can sit fully in that story and rise beyond it. Reality changes for you when you change your story. When you change the channel that streams your reality.

Let the force be you

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by MatteoFontes1996

It's one thing when people around me dont want me to exist. i can deal with that. but when forces in the universe dont want me to exist and impede on my happiness what can I do? Is there a story or something in a religious text about somebody who is always bothered by the universe or people around him?

You want to look at self sabotauge and obstruction of flow.

Who and what blocked you about age three.

Childhood perceptions run amuck when not channeled into positive forces by adults who are loving and direct your feelings as acknowledged and as more.

[ajay00]

Hinduism refers to two selves, the authentic one named Self, and the fictional self.

The Self is considered to be of an eternal nature, and is considered to be pure consciousness or awareness or Being.

The Self, our Being, is awareness. - Sri Muruganar

Most people identify with the fictional self, which is also known as the ego and the false self, and is a product of the imagination. It is a composite of all one's identities in life which is invested with a lot of emotion. As the false self or ego is ultimately fictional, it tends to be unstable and is characterized by negativity and reactivity and a deep sense of insecurity.

The goal of Jnana yoga in Hinduism lies in recognition of the true Self, and intelligent discrimination between the Self and the lower self, and constantly identifying with the former rather than the latter.


Don't ever lose awareness of your Being. - Sri Ramana Maharshi

Remember your Self always and everywhere. - George Gurdjieff

Originally Posted by MatteoFontes1996

It's one thing when people around me dont want me to exist. i can deal with that. but when forces in the universe dont want me to exist and impede on my happiness what can I do? Is there a story or something in a religious text about somebody who is always bothered by the universe or people around him?

If the 'me' stated here is the Self or awareness, I assure you it is of an eternal nature.

If the 'me' however is the ego or false self, it is bound to attract competitive forces. You are bound to attract what you identify with.

What may be happening around you may be a manifestation of the inner battle within you of the true Self and the false self.

The Self is revealed when you are deeply relaxed while the false self or ego is usually accompanied by stress and tension.

So just deeply relax yourself, be still and feel the Self within. This is the authentic you, and is of the nature of divinity.


Manifest the divinity within you and everything will be harmoniously arranged around it. ~ Swami Vivekananda

Originally Posted by MatteoFontes1996

I need answers not platitudes. The truth is giving up and changing yourself makes everybody right about you. You were always wrong and your enemies were always right. something was off about you.

Perhaps people and the universe are a little right and a lot wrong about you. Perhaps they are a lot right and a little wrong. Perhaps they are equal parts right and wrong. Perhaps sometimes you misinterpret signals from people and the universe as mean and cruel when in fact they are no such thing? Don't forget other people are also subject to some of the same fears and doubts you experience and yes, at times they lash out as I'm sure you do. Do you think it's possible sometimes other people think you are the mean person? That's something you have to figure out.

None of that matters in as much as who is right and who is wrong. What matters is what are you going to do about it? What is going to change? Something has to give and is it more likely all these mean people and the cruel universe are going to change to your liking or you are going to change to be in better relation to how you perceive and react (or don't react!) to all these mean people and the cruel universe?

Thinking change is your defeat and their victory is a guarantee for continued suffering. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy that locks you into the status quo. Is that where you want to be?

You think it's a surrender of sorts. A vindication of the mean people and a cruel universe. I view it as a liberation from their control of my emotional state. Why should I willingly allow people and the universe to dictate my emotional well being? That belongs to me and I no longer surrender it to others or the universe.

This isn't platitudes. It's very practical advice.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by MatteoFontes1996

You guys and everybody on earth need to watch how you speak.

It says the power of life and death is in the mouth.
It says the Lord hates a false witness.

If you dont have answers you should just be quiet.
because IM losing hope reading these comments.

Well, you will not have to be concerned about imperfect me offering my imperfect help!
No, sirree. Not even an attempt.
I do wish you the best...even if you do bite my head off for saying it.