A service to self/service to others question?

[Crwydryn]

Hello all,

I recently read the Ra materials and felt like everything clicked but I'm not really sure what counts as service to self or others.
For example, I like helping people, motivating people to change their lives, I like to be friendly and welcoming so I put people at ease
BUT
it's not really about them. It's more about me feeling good about myself.

Or I thought I would become a care worker to give back, but at the end it drained me so much that I couldn't take care of my own mental health. My whole life was about work and others.

Or I prefer to be single as I know I couldn't love them as they deserve it, and it's the same reason why I don't have children either. (I have some issues I don't want to burden anyone with)

My thinking is that I am very selfish to put myself first or is it not that bad? What counts as service to others?

Sorry, I hope it makes sense what I'm trying to ask. I couldn't put it in words really.

[CosmicWonder]

Not sure what you have read but -,

It isn’t selfish to take care of your mental health. People will have to deal with stuff on their own too. It’s healthy to draw a line. If it’s about the feeling good of helping people, that I wouldn’t call selfish. It’s after all feeling good about helping other people.

Much kindness,

Cosmic Wonder

[Miss Hepburn]

Be happy and content - that's how you can serve others the best, I say...also
Abraham-Hicks says it pretty clearly.
Unless you're taking food out of children's mouths, selfishness is not so bad..esp when your happiness
radiates out like ripples effecting all around you.
Life really isn't all that complicated.

If you're concerned about 'you feeling good' ---then focus on pleasing your Maker, instead...a thought.
If you plant corn you expect more corn, nothing wrong with that ...so sow seeds of
kindness and happiness ---they will grow also and you can enjoy more of the same...enjoy your joy.

[ameliorate]

Doing voluntary work is a great way of being service to others. It has the bonus of a feel-good factor too - good for the soul! I thoroughly recommend it. 👍

[FairyCrystal]

You cannot come to service of others and the planet when you yourself aren't happy and fulfilled.
So first you got to take care of you, fill your own cup with joy, laughter, happiness, fulfilment, then at some point your cup runneth over and that overflow is what you have to give.
The giving then isn't a mental thing, not like, "Oh, I got XYZ to spare so now I must start giving/serving."
It's not like that. Serving comes from the heart, from the Soul, from inner fulfilment and happiness.
If it's not like that yet you get what you describe: You get drained, exhausted, and you can even get a burnout or health issues!
Many people give to please, to feel needed as then they feel better, etc. There are always unresolved issues underneath that need to be worked on. Or not, that is a choice everyone has to make.
But if you do not fill your own cup first you will end up giving from an empty or half-empty cup, which is why you start feeling drained and exhausting, and possibly even taken advantage of.
If your own cup isn't full you have nothing to give to others, except to yourself so your cup gets full up. You need to get to a level where you are not (subconsciously) needy anymore.

Service to others & the planet can take many forms. A genuine smile, laughter, an aura of happiness cos your cup is full and then that happy aura uplifts others. Paying someone a compliment, incl and especially strangers -and again this comes from the heart. If the compliment is a mental thing "Oh I got to pay compliments!" it does not work.
So it doesn't have to be doing volunteers work or something. It's especially in the small gestures like a smile and it ALWAYS comes from the heart because your cup is full and there is overflow.

[lemex]

In all you do you affect others, you manifest. In service do we not do this. It is never missing so don't image you do not (provide). All is complete. That is as important as anything specific you do. In all we do we help or hinder. So what is the more important. Everything one does is of service. I would shy away from the stereotype of the idea of service. It is in everything you do. Be at peace knowing. What does the Ra materials say that are different. I never heard or read them.

[FallingLeaves]

Well I seem to disagree with nearly everyone in thinking that 'feeling good' is not in and of itself a worthy goal. The bible hints at that, if anyone is interested in reading the parts they don't feel good about equally with the parts they do.

That said, some times when people have most needed 'help' for lack of a better word I simply haven't felt good, haven't felt like helping at all. And I know also that the times I've been most vulnerable people simply haven't 'felt like' reaching out a helping hand to me, either.

So I've this feeling in general, that saying you have to feel good to be of service, is very self-serving and leaves some people perennially in the cold.

But maybe after all that is one of the best ways one can be of help, quit meddling entirely, quit trying to make it the 'correct' way at the expense of the wishes of others. And this is something I've been pondering, how much should I really continue to say given that in the end it is all just considerably more noise, more meddling in a world that never seems to shut up or let people be.

So you may be onto something - at least for those of us on a certain path we may be better off without your help after all.

In any case like I say your insistence on feeling good and your withholding help when you don't may work out for our benefit in the long game...

although from the readings it appears that the majority of people who go on like that are themselves in for a very rude awakening in the end - and this despite the fact their reticence was at the time used to advance the cause of the less fortunate.

There is a nice balance to this mess, or so it would seem.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

Well I seem to disagree with nearly everyone in thinking that 'feeling good'
is not in and of itself a worthy goal.

I think feeling good is my first priority, btw!!!

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

Well I seem to disagree with nearly everyone in thinking that 'feeling good' is not in and of itself a worthy goal.

I don't see where you read that.

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

The bible hints at that, if anyone is interested in reading the parts they don't feel good about equally with the parts they do.

This is a spiritual forum, not one on religion. The bible is an obsolete book, written to guide people in a time when we had fallen deeper than deep after the Atlantis. It had its purpose, back then.
Now we only have the translated versions of a guidebook that doesn't match our society at all. The many translations have allowed for many personal views and also translating mistakes. And again, it's obsolete, not suited for where most of mankind is right now.

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

although from the readings it appears that the majority of people who go on like that are themselves in for a very rude awakening in the end...

Why judge other people when you don't understand?
Your next statement below also illustrates you don't understand. There is no mess whatsoever. It all makes perfect sense, like 1+1 = 2.
There won't be a rude awakening for the ones who already understand, and who with that also see and get the ease of it all.
Like MissHepburn said as well, it isn't difficult.

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

There is a nice balance to this mess, or so it would seem.

As I said above... it is not difficult, and there is no mess. But I seems one has to be able to get to a bit of a bird's eye view to grasp it.
In the meantime try to not judge other people.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Crwydryn

Hello all,

I recently read the Ra materials and felt like everything clicked but I'm not really sure what counts as service to self or others.
For example, I like helping people, motivating people to change their lives.

Or I thought I would become a care worker to give back, but at the end it drained me so much that I couldn't take care of my own mental health.

My thinking is that I am very selfish to put myself first or is it not that bad? What counts as service to others?

I've been a caregiver for nearly 30 years. It's definitely not for everyone, and that's ok.
You ever hear the quote, " if mamma isn't happy, nobodys happy."
As in that quote, making "mamma" happy IS a service to others. If you can make only one person happy and have a better day, that in itself my be a service to many others you just don't know it.
Being of service to other and making someone else happy, may only take a smile, or a kind gesture. That kindness spreads just as fast as negative. When you spread positive, your being of service to others.