I am arrogant, help me please.

[Lucid]

Originally Posted by Altair

Don't talk yourself down, Lucid. If you feel insecure about a number of things then don't talk bad about what you are good at. Wanting to have debates with others doesn't make you a bad person. If humans didn't have debates and discussions there would have been no scientific and technological progress. If you are a smart person than it's good to stimulate yourself. Can be debates, or something else, but that is your call. Don't let yourself be talked down.

As for Christianity... there are many Christians that seem to enjoy debating, lol!

The issue seems to be that I am capable of having debates and allowing myself to take pride in causing the other person to see themselves and or their position as foolish. In other words, sometimes I allow myself to take pleasure in the defeat of others and that is very foolish. When I was younger I used to love getting in debates with Christians because I was sure they were the biggest fools on Earth....oh the irony lol.

This behavior is very rare for me these days and though this happened the other day before I wrote made this topic, compared to things in my past it wouldn't have even been a blip on the radar but as I've grown to value God's love much more through my weaknesses, it hurts so much more when I feel like I've stepped out of that love.

"26 Brothers, consider the time of your calling: Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were powerful; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast in His presence." 1 Corinthians 1:26-29

As for why many Christians enjoy debating so much... I think it's because, well just as I mentioned about myself earlier, Christians are viewed as the fools of the world and rightfully so because God said he chooses foolish people but we know we have found (by being shown and led to) a mountain of gold, surrounded by a river of gold, surrounded by fields of gold, on a planet of gold, receiving the golden sun light of a golden sun.

With this gold we've been given, it doesn't run out, it doesn't lose value, no one can steal it and in fact the more you give away the more you get lol. We just want to share it with others because of how awesome it is and even though people think we are fools we don't mind because we're happy to be fools.

Sometimes though we forget we're fools and start thinking we're wise and that is the reason I made this thread in first place.

[Lucid]

Originally Posted by janielee

Hi Lucid,

Have you considered therapy to look into your behaviors and subtle beliefs. For example, you made your tooth hurt because you felt you had to be strong.

It sounds like there is a lot of hurt and resentment that is still stored, and would be normal and natural. It's not the hurt that matters: it's how we heal from it that defines us.

Also, please go easy on yourself - the self judgement may come from damaged self esteem.

Try to spend more time in nature, find things that you enjoy and can relax with. Learn about self-love and be kind to youself. From there, then there is the possibility of loving others...

JL

That is good insight and good advice. Also I have a therapist and he's the best. I don't always listen to him and sometimes I do the opposite of what he tells me do and that's when I really get into trouble lol but his office is always open and he's there for me to help me heal. He's helped me to heal so much since I started seeing him I just need to trust him and I do but sometimes as I said I start feeling myself and forget the lessons that he's been teaching me. A lot of the stuff I wrote about in my original post when I started this thread are things that I've been healed of but I wanted to give insight into my past and in case it was useful to whoever wanted to give me some advice but my therapist knows all of my past and even things about me that I don't know so that really helps.

Thank you!

You're so welcome - be gentle on yourself as you move