how does a male say...??

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Why men don’t listen and women can’t read road maps.

. Sounds like a good book.

[AngelBlue]

HAL.... If you want to keep her "quiet " can you not tempt her with your cheesy balls ????? LOL....
We used to love it when you showed us em on here !!!!!

[Redchic12]

Hallow. Your wife seems to be a really awesome woman except of course for the talking which we women are very guilty of doing. My sister in law drives me crazy in exactly the same way as you have described.

What I’ve found out thru experience is that when you want to tell a person something that you know might hurt/upset/offend them then one of the best ways to do it is to use the positive/negative/positive approach.

Example:

Honey you know sometimes I sit here and think about how lucky I am to be married to you …………etc etc. (positive)

But sometimes I just really need to have some silence and down time so I can work out some things in my head. So if you see me being quiet, please don’t be offended as it’s got nothing to do with something you have said or done ……..etc etc. (negative)

I really love you and I appreciate you giving me this time out .……etc etc. (positive)

We women sometimes feel that if a guy is being quiet and none communicative we think we have done something wrong so telling her this, she will then understand that it has nothing to do with her and probably accept your silence much easier. She has no idea what you want/need/feel until you TELL HER.

So the next time she talks at the wrong time, you can easily say, Honey I’m just having a silent time right now, thanks. (And she will get it)

Obviously that was just an example. I’m sure that choosing your own words will be more helpful and beneficial than mine.

Hope this helps.

[hallow]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Hallow. Your wife seems to be a really awesome woman except of course for the talking which we women are very guilty of doing.

Hope this helps.

. She is an awesome person, always means nothing but the best. I do my best to take the best with the worst. Her daughter really nailed it on the head when she called her overwhelming at times. Sometimes I just need a few minutes to "catch up"

[hallow]

I think telling her I need quiet time would be worse than telling her shut up. Then the whole "you don't want to spend time with me thing would happen. She gets excited like she drank a pot of coffee but it goes on literally for days. I don't know how her nerves can even handle herself.

[Redchic12]

You DEFINITELY have to pick the right time.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by hallow

I think telling her I need quiet time would be worse than telling her shut up.
Then the whole "you don't want to spend time with me thing would happen.
She gets excited like she drank a pot of coffee but it goes on literally for days.

I'm SO sorry!

Hmm, how about what women have used you ages, "Honey, I've got a headache. I need to lay down for a bit.''
Secretly change her coffee to decaf ---or at least mix it half and half!!!
See, it takes a women to be this sneaky!

[AngelBlue]

HAL...sounds like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
Can you pretend you've had a promotion at work and have reams of paper and bookwork that you have to read and absorb?
( Then you got a nice book "hidden" among it that you can read and enjoy in peace.)
But being serious , my mind is being cast back a year or two and I believe you said she was at a certain "point" in her life that ladies experience . I'm just wondering if that is still the case because it can last a few years !
And I'm only thinking that if that's still the case then I don't think there really IS anything you can say or do except ride the storm and know it will pass.
I know that you love her , but only you will know whether this is how she always is or whether it's just time of life.

[Redchic12]

Hey that’s a good idea AngelB with all the papers around you.

Here’s another idea that has just come to mind. Many years ago When I was living with a guy who drove me crazy with his moaning I used to drive down to the park and sit in the car for an hour and do a meditation before I went home. I told him I had to work late cos we had a lot on at the moment.

By doing this, I could then face going home cos I had my hour of peace. Maybe this could work for you.

[AngelBlue]

Hi Red...
Oh but it's a so and so when you need to go to the park first and meditate LOL....
I realised afterwards Hal's wife would probably need to know where the extra money was from his "promotion"...!
Busted !