Annoying flirtations

[energy4ever]

They have to be play boys. I get super annoyed when a man like that start flirting with me, when that's not my business with a man. Am I the only one who reacts like that? It don't matter to me when it happens if I am in a relationship or not. I'm still just as annoyed by it. Has happened when I am alone. Has happened when I am not.
Now the mystery part. It is as if me not thinking or trying to look sexy at all is making me that? Do anyone recognize it? Can be men too being approached by play girls? I can have baggy clothes, discreet make up, no boobies out to catch breath anywhere visible, 100% in hiding. No heels. I'm thinking who's gonna hit on this, nobody's gonna hit on this. If they hit on this then there's something wrong with them. I can have a day full of errands to do. Or I am at work busy. Or I am at some friends. When it is the last thing on my mind. That's when they make their entrance!
I wonder if men knows how wrong it gets to feel from my corner. If you are there with kids and these things still happen? What do they think is going to happen?That I am going to start flirt back with kids witnessing this charade?
They use phrases I recognize from before. It's the same game. I don't know if that is what annoys me the most, the lack of authenticity? What am I? A Ginny pig they can practice on? Can't they lay off the act for one minute? How am I inviting this in when I don't think I am? The men are more dressed up, styled themselves up than I always am when they do this. What do they think? That they're gonna make my day? It can be younger men, that has actually become worse, it's more allowed these days? Men my own age + somewhat older men. I've found their phone numbers that they have somehow slipped through, or on to something else I'm leaving with, (surprise when I discover it), or trying to through my friends, co-workers, who ever they can use. I never asked for their phone number. They never asked me if I wanted their phone number, surprise element to later discover it, they never told me they were going to give me their phone number. The phone number has never even been up for a discussion. I could get in trouble with the man I love if discovering this before I do. Have they even thought about that? It happens always during day time. I don't work in a bar. I know what working in a bar is like. It reminds me of that.

[Miss Hepburn]

It's the curse of being attractive*. Learn patience and kind, but clever comebacks.
I used to dress in over sized clothes and put ridiculous rollers in my hair to walk my dog..never
lived on a 2nd floor with a dog again! I only had yards after that to open a door.

*Could also be you did this in past lives and it was suggested to you or you wanted to know what it felt like.
Now you do! :)

[WhiteWarrior]

Days, years, centuries, millenniums, civilisations come and go. Human culture, human customs, human tastes come and go. Human nature, apparently, remains constant. I am sorry you receive unwanted attention. However I can guarantee you that this will cease with time, and then you will be left alone for the remainder of your life. May you find what makes you happy.

[Miss Hepburn]

Cease with time?...maybe when I'm 80? Maybe?

[energy4ever]

Miss Hepburn, thank you, that's funny. I wouldn't be surprised (the past lives)!
WhiteWarrior, true. It is not that it is unwanted attention. It is I think that I can be alone or I can be with a kid and I do not experience the men to be authentic . I just want someone to be themselves. If someone is nervous then that's fine, that is authentic. I appreciate that more than anything. When I am talking to someone like one normal person to the next and they then suddenly or right away put on that act I don't like it. I don't know what they're gonna do next. I get silent. I walk away. I don't want to play that way. When I met someone I was to fall in love with I shook his hand in the middle of the date, saying my name again and saying it was nice to meet you. Everything changed that moment. It was a beautiful moment. That moment we met for real. That felt more authentic. I appreciate authenticity and a way to respect someone and make them feel safe is to show them that and feel them, wanting, taking consideration. I don't experience that I am so special when they do this, I don't experience it is only me they do this with. It can't be. All suddenly they jump at me, like a dog, I don't see it coming, and they take control. I don't like it like that. I get the game, I just don't want to play it like that. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. I understand it can't be easy making the first move but these kind of men are living it, high on it, their game. They're not there. Not their real selves. Guess I miss that.

[Miss Hepburn]

Authentic? I know...sometimes I want to put a picture of Marilyn Monroe
on a string mop and watch them get...excited.

'Jump at you like a dog'...yeah.

[FallingLeaves]

as a guy I find trying to figure out what females want very confusing. On the one hand we are told, everyone loves confidence and you have to project confidence to get a mate, then when we apply that we get told you don't want confidence after all, you want authenticity. But I also already know, if I choose authenticity, I'm going to be told (again) you want something else entirely.

all i can see is you basically want to say 'no' in any way that is available to you.

[energy4ever]

Miss Hepburn: Funny again.
Fallingleaves: I get that. I think one should not go after general terms then. Women are different. Men are different. Us as human being are different, individually. It is just that: you have been told, Fallingleaves. You have been told this is how to act. Instead maybe of what would have been your real choice to act. Your real choice to be could have been the winning card but you wouldn't know. Can't be easy. I believe that True confidence is authenticity that comes from a good self esteem, a force to reckon with, before I thought confidence and self esteem were the same thing, something I struggled with before but my self esteem is better these days. Everything can change. That's what so wonderful.
My heart always went out for the men I saw in the clubs (from bar view), their pain. Them being lost. If they were gonna be OK. You see all kinds of people. Think too when you have a brother you know. You know they go through the same thing as you, out hunting and the insecurities that comes with it, but worse for them, as they have to make the first move. There are other expectations of them. Financial too. Women do it too but not all. It is still expected.

Then again even if you have done everything right you have to know that it can't always be a yes and that no has nothing to do with you. Circumstances in life. Circumstances or issues with her.

The men who get me super annoyed are the ones who barch in, they're overawing, I can stand there with a small kid on my hands, he is literacy a stranger, I don't know what's gonna happen next. I'm a toothpick. Close to fear. Or someone acting like a car salesman with no respect for what words truly means. I don't like men taking liberties to barch the same way at work,the buzz of it even if he's married, even if nothing happened. Nobody cared about that. The gossip.
Trouble too before with my ex.

I think we all got stories of rejection. As many people there are in this world as many taste there are, situations.

[lostsoul13]

Unwanted attention is just a learning curve, maybe it was a past life thing and your learning to cope with it~ imo you should take the compliments..

I don’t attract to much attention but I’ve attracted very attractive females..

It all down to a life plan.. they were like companions of soulmates these women who entered my life through friends, nightclubs ect

I’m to smittened by my twin flame but I see her in every female ~ so we live in a world of very beautiful people- definitely have to be authentic!!

[energy4ever]

Thanks! I didn't think I attracted too much attention as well but there you go That must be a good feeling for you!

I think I know what it steams from! Back in school in my class there was this boy who was popular and someone I knew was in love with him so in my mind I did not want to mess with that but he had told her he wasn't interested that he was already in love with someone. He began staring at me during class. He would change his chair so he would not look straight ahead at the teacher but look at me! My direction! The teacher would not tell him to change back. Then out in the school corridors the same thing! Would stare at me. Everyone knew about this, could see it and I believe he wanted it that way. One time in class I asked another boy a question and he flew into a short lasting but still shocking jealous rage. Today I can't take it in that the teacher did not say anything to object then, to help me but it is the truth. What could he have been back then? 17 or 18? After that he kept staring at me.

I don't mind at all when some men flirt with me. I think it is down to listening in, respecting my space. The way they do it. Those who I have had a problem with are those that I think remind me of that boy (who stared). He could look at me as if looks could kill when that happened with the other boy. Had I gotten involved with him I feared the worst. He couldn't do anything to me as I had no wish to be part of their gang. I didn't care if I was popular or not. It was just stupid to act like that. I remember lots of the students would not talk to me afterwards, the class, as if they were afraid after what he had voiced. He could stare like no one else. I joked with someone with me trying different set of non attractive poses during class to see if he would change. I joked once to tell me if there was a difference, if he would look away if I poked my nose and ate the bogey. If that would snap him out of it, ha ha, but I never did of course. This went on for more than a year, the staring.

When these men jump at me like that I think that is what has brought it back and I feel vulnerable being there. It can turn so fast and I don't know them and they're stepping right into my comfort zone when I don't expect it.