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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 14-07-2024, 01:26 AM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Refusing to Let Go of Life

Hello

Not sure how I feel about dying when one goes the long way out. When you are in Hospice House and you are not going to come out, but you too do not want to let go and die. You stay holding on and on, family being told its "hours" that turns into days.....so they are by your side 24 / 7. Family comes in from out of town on limited leave from work and you hang on and on. You pass into a coma but still you hang in there.

I so do not want to go out that way in the end. I do not want family tied to me to the bitter end of life holding on and on. Too I know I do not have a say in how I might well go out or what I would do when I am in that place of life entering into death.

Do we have a say in going? Or is it like my Dad said you have a pre destined time and when that is done then you go, not before.

Yes life is precious but too quality of life to me is more precious. I know how sick I was at this time last year, and how I thought that was all she wrote for me so often. I had to fight with everything I have in me to come back again, to heal and learn new ways to do things. I have tools that out my socks on and shoes on, I have grabbers to pick things up off the floor, even one that folds down to take in my swimming bag. I use them at time to put cloths on.

I have a cane that has a handle on it to get up from a chair that is too low, that folds down. Yes you sure get the "looks" when using tools to aid your day to day, but they work.

I am blessed with a daughter that is going to school to be a care aide that helps with nail cutting and socks at times. I so hope that will be the extent of care she has to give to me.

I guess as a Medium I see death differently not as an end but as a transformation that time we change our role in the Universe.

Lynn
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  #2  
Old 14-07-2024, 04:25 AM
CosmicWonder CosmicWonder is offline
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Hey Lynn,

Death had been a topic for me thru the last years. Ive been attempting to overcome my fears around family members dying and having to attent the funerals or cremations.. its difficult for me to face death, from another or myself. I so can not understand what it is, at all... Its very complicated..

I hope you are okay... Ive read a lot of NDE's, its a weird feeling yet awe I get from that. Almost like belonging. As if home is on the other side.

Kind regards,

CW
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  #3  
Old 14-07-2024, 06:25 AM
Rah nam Rah nam is offline
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I remember, my mother said, when I visited her in a nursing home:
Why am I still here?
And I told her, as I would tell everyone, you need to let go.

The way I see it, letting go is one of the most important and difficult lessons most face in this reality. Holding on to possessions partners, friend, one's own life, they only differ in the degree of intensity of the connection.
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Old 14-07-2024, 09:23 AM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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I never had a good relationship with my mother when she was in hospital I knew she wasn't going to come out as my brother was standing in the corner of the room waiting for her,
I told her to go my dad and siblings were saying she is coming out tomorrow
because that is what the doctors were saying
she passed that night needles still in her arm so I took them out and put them in the sharps box.

people will only go when they are ready not before Death does not concern me as I didn't want to be born in the first place
A friends grandmother was in a nursing home someone was there all the time with her,only my friend was there as his parents and siblings had gone home he left to go to the toilet in that time she passed, she waited for everyone to leave,

Namaste
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Old 14-07-2024, 09:35 AM
AngelBlue AngelBlue is offline
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My former mother in law was in hospital on oxygen. She could not breathe unaided .
Eventually the hospital told all her family to come and say goodbye to her.
There were many of them in the room to each say their goodbyes including my children.
As each one spoke to her she would squeeze their hand in recognition .
The last person to speak to her was her husband.
He whispered in her ear " Fly little bird, fly "....
Then the doctors/ nurses took the mask off her and she passed away.

At the time , and when my children told me what happened I was horrified .
I couldn't imagine all my family around me saying goodbye knowing I was about to die....

And by a strange twist of fate that is probably how I will go....

I don't want all my loved ones round my hospital / hospice bed at the end all saying goodbye and me knowing they are about to pull the plug.
Can't think of anything worse.

Before that happens I would much rather go quickly with an unexpected heart attack or similar to spare all of the above.
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  #6  
Old 14-07-2024, 03:16 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Hello

Well she has not passed yet, and the Dr of my friend told her enough being there so much, it is not good. I hope she listens. I get this passing and not wanting to go as life is good. Too I understand what she is holding onto, but we have to let the regrets of the past go, we have to live with the choices we have made, even when it comes to last Will. We have had he time to make the changes in things we leave behind in so many cases but at times we do not do them. So that is at times regrets we hold onto. I get it but too little too late.

This too reminds me that there are changes to my Estate I want to make, and maybe a reminder here to other's to get a Will done, or to make changes you want made so that your transition is not one of "what if" or "I wish I had".

I am so hoping that the crossing comes soon.

Lynn
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  #7  
Old 14-07-2024, 09:21 PM
ThatMan ThatMan is offline
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All my experiences have shown me that I have planned this Earthly life, and I have studied hundreds of NDEs, if not thousands, really, quite passionate about this, and so so many talk about planning our lives.

The human aspect, the you, may say, I want to go, but the "higher" ( expanded ) aspect may say, no, it's not time. The "problem" here is that the higher aspect sees the bigger perspective while the human aspect sees in part, and this what saddens me for because of the "veil" the human aspect is left in ignorance, well not so much for those who have a more expanded view.

NDEs after NDEs choose to come back for whatever reason even though they come back to excruciating pain for in that higher position they see more, know more, and even excruciating pain seems a walk in the park.

For me, personally, life on Earth, in my NDEs felt, in terms of its duration, like a moment, you blink and you are back with the divine, but from the human perspective, it's a long time.
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Old 15-07-2024, 03:56 AM
Starman Starman is offline
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The thing is most people think, or act like, their life began here on earth as a human being. I strongly feel that we came here from beyond this earthly physical existence and when our body dies we return to that which is beyond this earthly physical existence.

Most people are strangers to themselves, indoctrinated by their human existence, and fearing the process of life; which includes physical death. There are all sorts of theories, philosophies, teachings, etc., about death; but experience of the energy which is deep within us can reveal much to us.

Words and thoughts do not go there, it is an experience unlike any experience which the body or mind can offer. When you feel it, it feels like home. The only choice we have in human death is how we will approach it. We have no other choice than that.

When I am with a person who is dying I tell them to stay in the moment, don’t anticipate what is next. Have no ideas about what it is going to be like. Now a person who is afraid is often told to think of the pleasant times they have had in their life. The high points in their life.

Regardless, silence will come, grow, and overtake you, and you will be removed from your physical body at the time of death. I have witnessed this many times. People freak themselves out with imaginings, practicing quieting our mind can be helpful at the time of physical death.

Death is natural but the method of dying may be un-natural. Dying in a hospice or hospital is a lot different than dying on the street, or on a battlefield. Death by murder or suicide is a lot different than waiting to die from a terminal illness or injury. Dying with a group of people who are also dying is different than dying alone, or with loved ones around you, nonetheless, the result is the same.
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  #9  
Old 15-07-2024, 04:13 AM
Starman Starman is offline
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P.S. It is not so much as the dying person holding on as it is the physical body not rejecting the life which is in it. Although a person can will themselves to die even if they have a healthy body. We can leave any time we want or hang on until our physical body rejects us.

Remember Debbie Reynolds, how when her daughter died, she said “I want to be with her” (Carrie Fisher) and the next day Debbie Reynolds died. A person can will themselves to die from a broken heart or other things, in my opinion.
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  #10  
Old 15-07-2024, 07:35 AM
AngelBlue AngelBlue is offline
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My husband's great aunt was a stubborn person.
In her 90's and in hospital she was basically dying of old age .
The family were all told to come and say goodbye to her as she wouldn't last the night...
So they did. All went to say their goodbyes.
But then nothing.
Days, weeks went by. She was not on any food or fluids . She refused a drip . And when the nurses kept going to her to turn her over to make her comfortable she would bark at them to "leave her alone and let her die in peace ".....

She eventually passed after 9 weeks with no food, water , or medication .
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