Memories during spiritual awakening. An emotional shedding.

[dragoness_crysta]

After summer passed, I started experiencing the following phenomenon...

I started doing a retrospect of my life, either voluntarily, or involuntarily by certain sounds and smells that are popping in my mind from time to time.

The unpleasant memories were provoked to come, and the pleasant memories, came out of nowhere just from a thought that just emerged for no apparent reason.

For the unpleasant memories when I look back at my mistakes, I always have a feeling that I was on heavy drugs or sth, because I put up with a lot of ***t that any sane person would ask "Are you mental"? I ask myself questions like "Why did I put up with this so much?"... the answer eludes me ALL the time... but I do feel that something is being removed from me. Even though I have the question unanswered, I want to "shoo" it away and not give much regard.

For the pleasant memories I have the following example. I am working in my home office, quite dedicated to what I do and suddenly, in my mind I here the sound of a dog's bark. It is the bark of a dog plush toy that one my aunts had in her living room. It is one of those old style living rooms that was only open for visits and we as children were not allowed to enter.
But I had sneaked in and I admired all the little trinkets, and I really wanted to play with the plush toy that was just sitting there like another inanimate decoration... I loved it then... but now, when I picture this whole image again, it is.... totally foreign to me. And it gives me no pleasure, no peace of mind whatsoever... I try to sense the joy of touching it, I smell the old mouldy smell, but... no positive feeling... in fact I want to let it go, even though there is no negative impact from it... It feels so strange as if those memories (from my current life) are from another life entirely.... TOO far away...

It makes me ache emotionally that I cannot find solace in my good memories from the previous years... I guess it is a process of shedding the old ego, but the truth is that is unpleasant, stressing and it saddens me very often...

Has anyone else encountered this with your memories during your spiritual awakening? How did you cope? How did you make it easier? I would like some feedback because frankly it has become quite intense and it is driving me crazy... Everything is amplified...

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by dragoness_crysta

It feels so strange as if those memories (from my current life) are from another life entirely.... TOO far away...

It makes me ache emotionally that I cannot find solace in my good memories from the previous years... I guess it is a process of shedding the old ego, but the truth is that is unpleasant, stressing and it saddens me very often...

This seems a natural process, part of our development. We spend years building up an identity with particular experiences and particular memories. Then we start to realise that we are not this identity, but we do not yet know what we are. So we find ourselves in a space where all that is familiar and comforting is falling away, which can be very unsettling.

As you say, such memories seem to be from another life. Eventually we realise that all memories, good and bad, are just another thought. We are not our memories. We are making the transition from letting go of what we are not to discovering what we really are. But while in this transition it can be difficult.

Peace

[dragoness_crysta]

Originally Posted by iamthat

We are making the transition from letting go of what we are not to discovering what we really are. But while in this transition it can be difficult.

How are you dealing with this transition though? Is there some way to make this discomfort calmer or sth?

I do some workout, yoga, listen to music of 432Hz and such (beautiful tones btw), and even though they help, I dont feel they help much... I still feel very numb emotionally... its as if I am floating in a sky of uncertainty... of what to see below, or above...

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by dragoness_crysta

How are you dealing with this transition though? Is there some way to make this discomfort calmer or sth?

... I still feel very numb emotionally... its as if I am floating in a sky of uncertainty... of what to see below, or above...

I have been through various periods of transition in my life and they are not easy. Sometimes all we can do is hold on, deal with whatever arises, and trust that calmer waters lie ahead.

Is your emotional numbness really something new? You say that you "put up with a lot of ***t". Are you now reconnecting with a part of yourself which shut down in your earlier years as a response to difficult circumstances? I really don't know, but I have to suggest this as a possibility.

Maybe it is like a snake shedding its skin in order to grow. Shedding the old skin may be uncomfortable, but not shedding it would be even more constricting.

So do whatever practices help you feel more comfortable. And if you can, let go of the desire for certainty. Flow with the process and try to become comfortable with not being comfortable. Eventually we come out the other side and we have grown as a result of it all.

Peace

[Native spirit]

I dont recall doing any of this because i have been so open to spirit since being born.


Namaste

[dragoness_crysta]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

I dont recall doing any of this because i have been so open to spirit since being born.

Native spirit how do you mean open? Is it easy for you to give an example?

[lostsoul13]

I have no sense of smells.. it’s alien to me.. I have slight amnesia with current life memories… the children bring back the most fear of reincarnation… my first reincarnation- I was in a accident and the memories often surface … pain , anguish… stress… like I’m at the accident again… post traumatic disorder… stress relief works well and cuddling down with blanket and tent… or under the covers—— I’m like a baby… sorts the coldness out and brings heat into the life of it…