Is she at peace..

Hi everyone,

I have a question, and it touches upon a very sad, personal subject to me, and I appreciate that there may be no definite answer for it.


When my mother was 18 years old, her own mother sadly took her life via an overdose. We believe this may have been due to underlying depression/anxiety, and the ''empty nest syndrome'' as sadly then all her 13 children were reaching adult age, and leaving home. This was in 1968 when she passed away, and as back in those era's (she was born in 1913) problems were never talked about, and no support were given.
Women were strong, and they just got on with it which she sure did as they came from a lovely home. My grandfather was apparently a very strict man, and I believe probably wouldn't have had a compassionate understanding, if problems ever had been discussed. If of any importance, they were Catholic..

On that fateful day, my mother aged 18 heard that she had been rushed into the local hospital, and she was beside herself and rushed to get her father to drive up there. He refused to, and to this day we're not sure why, I don't know if it was through anger or through a sort of breakdown and not wanting to face the situation. We're really not sure what happened there.

My mum was so distressed and got herself a taxi up there. Upon arriving, my mother said that she looked so sad and empty, but physically she was pulling through ok.
After sitting by her side for an hour, her mother apologised and said she loved her so dearly. This was so difficult for my mum as her own mother was her idol; she adored her.
She then asked my mother to rush back home, and please bring her some of her nightclothes, washcloth etc for her stay in hospital. To this day we believe it was so she could pass away without my mother being there, she was just ready to go..

My mother rushed home as fast as she could, came back to the hospital, and her mother had passed away. I don't think it was possible for anyone's heart to break so much, as it did just then for my mother
Again as was done back then, she took a deep breath and got on with it, she doesn't even remember the funeral she was so numb.
It didn't hit her until many many years later, when I was 11, and she had total breakdown from it. As I was already older than my years, I became a mother to her, and she got through it over several years. I'm so proud of her.


My mother said when she saw her in the coffin before the funeral, her face looked pained and not at rest. Her father died 2 years later, but she said his face looked relaxed and at peace.
It always troubled my mother, and me even more so, that my grandmother never passed away in peace? Only recently have I decided to open up about all my spiritual experiences, and this also got me to starting my family tree and learning about ancestors; and I believe there's a reason now why I need to find out about my grandparents story.

My mother never visited their grave in the cemetery, as she knows spirits and energy are all around us. For the first time i'm going to lay flowers by their grave soon, which strangely enough will have been the date her father passed away.

My question is, through both my experiences and visiting mediums/ spiritualists/clairvoyents etc with my mother, only her brother has ever really come through during readings, and from what I've picked up. They've told her that her mother is always around her and my mother feels that, but we've never been sure.

Is there perhaps an unrest or a guilt there, and that's why she's never come through? Maybe there's a reason now why I need to lay this to rest? I'm not sure and confused, I don't want to dig up too many bad memories/energy. I feel guilty though as when I was a teenager, I was so angry at what damage she had done and I almost hated her. Now though having hit rock bottom myself at times, I understand why she did it, and I forgive her.
If she wasn't at peace when she passed away, what happens then?..

Any kind advice would be much welcome
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[SpiritCarrier]

I am very sorry to hear of your families tragic history.

I feel that your grandmother is waiting for your mother to forgive her. She needs to hear the words that she understands and that it is okay. Your grandmother has been with your mother since the day she died because she felt guilty, guilty about leaving her at such a young age and guilty about not being honest with her. She wants your mothers forgiveness, she needs it in order to pass completely over. She doesn't feel worthy to pass over since she feels the damage she did by leaving is unforgivable. There are many reasons why she did what she did but empty nest was only one of them. The value she places on herself even now is low and in life was not good.

I hope that your family finds some resolution with this and you have my very best wishes for the future.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

Originally Posted by SpiritCarrier

I am very sorry to hear of your families tragic history.

I feel that your grandmother is waiting for your mother to forgive her. She needs to hear the words that she understands and that it is okay. Your grandmother has been with your mother since the day she died because she felt guilty, guilty about leaving her at such a young age and guilty about not being honest with her. She wants your mothers forgiveness, she needs it in order to pass completely over. She doesn't feel worthy to pass over since she feels the damage she did by leaving is unforgivable. There are many reasons why she did what she did but empty nest was only one of them. The value she places on herself even now is low and in life was not good.

I hope that your family finds some resolution with this and you have my very best wishes for the future.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

I can't thank you enough, for such a kind and honest message. What you said is what I believe too, that this needs to be done in order for my grandmother to be completely at peace.

I do have several more questions also. It's been about 45 years now since she passed, do you think her spirit will be in the same 'place' now as it was when she passed?
My mother had forgiven her as soon as she passed away though, and always told me stories about her from the day I was born, saying she loves her as much now if not more. It was perhaps me who was angry/hurt by what she did, my mother would be furious with me if I called her selfish.

Would my grandmother be aware of this though? How would we ever get the sadness/guilt from her spirit, if it exists in her? Perhaps it's guilt for all her children and husband she feels, although they are both buried together.

Thanks again for all your kind words.


Nadine.

[SpiritCarrier]

Your Grandmothers spirit is a 'lost soul' until she gets the forgiveness she seeks. Her 'spirit' is always in search of forgiveness. It could very well be your forgiveness that she seeks. The fact that your mother has not visited her last resting place makes your grandmother feel that she has not been able to move past the hurt.

Your Grandmother is very aware of your feelings and how what she did has affected the entire family. I think the only way to help your Grandmother at this point is to do exactly what you are going to do, place flowers on her grave and speak with her. Let her know that you are not angry with her anymore and that you have forgiven her. She needs to hear the words. Any words of love and understanding that you can impart will help her. She will find peace with these acts of kindness, and she will be able to cross to the other side.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

Originally Posted by SpiritCarrier

Your Grandmothers spirit is a 'lost soul' until she gets the forgiveness she seeks. Her 'spirit' is always in search of forgiveness. It could very well be your forgiveness that she seeks. The fact that your mother has not visited her last resting place makes your grandmother feel that she has not been able to move past the hurt.

Your Grandmother is very aware of your feelings and how what she did has affected the entire family. I think the only way to help your Grandmother at this point is to do exactly what you are going to do, place flowers on her grave and speak with her. Let her know that you are not angry with her anymore and that you have forgiven her. She needs to hear the words. Any words of love and understanding that you can impart will help her. She will find peace with these acts of kindness, and she will be able to cross to the other side.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

That is exactly what i'm going to do, lay her favourite flowers (also my own favourite) on the grave, and say some quiet words of love, and forgiveness.

I know my mother still would find it hard to visit her parents grave. So do you think perhaps a written note would reach my grandmother? Although as I mentioned earlier, there is no anger at all from my mother for what happened.

I'm ready to do this now, and somehow the time feels right. I wonder why that would be?..

I can't thank you enough, for helping confirm the direction I was heading in and your kind words.


~* Best wishes to you *~


Nadine.

[SpiritCarrier]

If your mother writes a note and you take it to the grave you need to lay it with your flowers as the gift that it is. (Read it first to her, this will release the words into the universe) I am so glad that your mother has such a loving heart and it is plan to see that she has passed that on to you. The time is right now because she is ready and so are you. Time means little on the plane she exist in so she has waited for you to be ready. (I hope that came out like it did in my head)

Congratulations on being at a place in your life where you can do such an amazing thing for someone you love.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

Originally Posted by SpiritCarrier

If your mother writes a note and you take it to the grave you need to lay it with your flowers as the gift that it is. (Read it first to her, this will release the words into the universe) I am so glad that your mother has such a loving heart and it is plan to see that she has passed that on to you. The time is right now because she is ready and so are you. Time means little on the plane she exist in so she has waited for you to be ready. (I hope that came out like it did in my head)

Congratulations on being at a place in your life where you can do such an amazing thing for someone you love.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

I'll discuss this soon with my mother, and if I can get a note written from her, then i'll go lay that with my flowers as a gift/forgiveness offering from me. If not, i'm still going by myself with flowers. I definitely need to

Thankyou for what you said about me having a kind heart, that meant alot. I've always tried to be a good person, and having gone through alot in my short life so far, I believe i've definitely been put here to help people.

I can feel too that you've got a loving 'old soul'. You should keep up the help you give for others, like you've just helped me today.


Love & light

Nadine.

[knightofalbion]

Love has a mighty energy all of its own. For loved ones in spirit, one only has to think loving thoughts and the loved one will receive them.

After all this time, I'm sure your grandmother knows she has been forgiven.

Visiting graves can help focus emotions and can be a source of great comfort but of course the person isn't there. They are very much alive in the world of spirit.

Always the wisest of counsel is to make your peace with everyone while 'you' are still here... That isn't always possible of course. But where there are unresolved matters if 'you' can't tell them in person, send thoughts of love and forgiveness.

Originally Posted by knightofalbion

Love has a mighty energy all of its own. For loved ones in spirit, one only has to think loving thoughts and the loved one will receive them.

After all this time, I'm sure your grandmother knows she has been forgiven.

Visiting graves can help focus emotions and can be a source of great comfort but of course the person isn't there. They are very much alive in the world of spirit.

Always the wisest of counsel is to make your peace with everyone while 'you' are still here... That isn't always possible of course. But where there are unresolved matters if 'you' can't tell them in person, send thoughts of love and forgiveness.

Thankyou for you kind and honest words. Yes I agree, and of course the buried body is merely just the vessel that our soul/energy was once in.
But for some reason or another, I just feel I have to visit the grave and make some peace or forgiveness.

Since my mother said my grandmother passed away with a pained and un-peaceful face, i've always just wondered when and even if, she became at peace..? I also had a worry in that because she was Catholic, don't they believe in suicide being sin? Although they say I believe, that if they were impaired (such as mental illness etc) then they were robbed of free will, therefore not a sin...

Also, as a believer of past-lives and a person that has visions of mine, what happens to someone when we die? Does everyone start again as a new life, or does the spirit always watch over loved ones? Is there a difference between earth-bound and those who have crossed over? Some clarification would be great


Thanks again for your words.

Best wishes to you,


Nadine.

[Native spirit]

Your mother is at peace she is ok and happy where she is in spirit,she comes around you and is proud of how you have overcome many problems yourself,some ppl can come through quicker than others time has no meaning in the spirit world so thats not to say she wont come through in time.im looking at this in two ways one as a medium the other as a councellor. you are correct in saying that problems were not spoken about years ago, thankfully that is not the case anymore, and help is out there for ppl suffering from what you have had in your family.
my friend was very close to her ,other as were her grandchildren they visited her in hospital all day every day. until one afternoon she turned to them and said you are tired stay at home if anything happens you will be notified, well one grandson ignored that and went to see her, she told him she wanted a drink from the hospital shop as soon as he went she passed away,i have heard of this happening many times before. as soo as they get to spirit they are healed and as i said time has no meaning in spirit. some ppl wait years to hear from their loved ones and others not so long.

Namaste