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Originally Posted by curvedlines
Backstory: I had a massive and very painful fallout with a long time friend who was also a professional colleague that really shook me to my core mid 2020.
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I'm going to make a guess here because it really needs a professional on a face-to-face rather than a post on a forum. However... During severe emotional trauma the ego can 'collapse' into the self. That can leave people psychologically disorientated. The (Jungian, the differentiate between the real and so-called 'Spiritual ego') ego is a kind of multi-role in that it provides a number of different functions. One of those functions is to give you an anchor of sorts in the shape of 'I am'. It's a reference point if you like, from which you can have relationships with your external reality. Hence the 'in-between worlds', most likely. And yeah, I do know what you mean. Me too.
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
Then, something strange happened. After an intensive month or two of meditating, shadow work etc etc, I felt a little "in between worlds". I can't really describe it any other way. I felt completely detached from my regular life and felt like I was watching this world through a mist or haze. I lost considerable weight because my appetite disappeared.
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This is typically what happens when you lose your ego/'I am'.
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
Post September 2020, I've had a few interesting experiences where
1- i've been able to read exactly what was going through the minds of my family members, unintentionally.
2- I've also been having strange vivid dreams which make me feel vulnerable and drained in the morning instead of fresh.
3- My intuition which was always very strong has ramped up x a million. I've become insanely sensitive to surrounding energies and a visit to the grocery store makes me exhausted.
4- I'm also an astrologer and my astrological and divination skills sped up and fine tuned massively.
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I don't fully understand how much of this stuff works to be honest, and I haven't seen any scientific studies but these kinds of abilities seem to work at more of an unconscious level before they come through via the ego. The ego can act as a 'filter' so I can only guess that your ego was suppressing these abilities. Now that your ego has been 'damaged' (using that word very lightly) it's not 'doing its job'.
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
fwiw, I don't have family history of mental illness. I don't take medication of any sort. I don't drink nor smoke. I was briefly worried about psychosis, but my symptoms don't seem to correspond with a psychological disorder.
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Mental illness and Spirituality is w whole different can of worms.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
Backstory: I had a massive and very painful fallout with a long time friend who was also a professional colleague that really shook me to my core mid 2020.
|
I'm going to make a guess here because it really needs a professional on a face-to-face rather than a post on a forum. However... During severe emotional trauma the ego can 'collapse' into the self. That can leave people psychologically disorientated. The (Jungian, the differentiate between the real and so-called 'Spiritual ego') ego is a kind of multi-role in that it provides a number of different functions. One of those functions is to give you an anchor of sorts in the shape of 'I am'. It's a reference point if you like, from which you can have relationships with your external reality. Hence the 'in-between worlds', most likely.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
Then, something strange happened. After an intensive month or two of meditating, shadow work etc etc, I felt a little "in between worlds". I can't really describe it any other way. I felt completely detached from my regular life and felt like I was watching this world through a mist or haze. I lost considerable weight because my appetite disappeared.
|
This is typically what happens when you lose your ego/'I am'.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by curvedlines
Post September 2020, I've had a few interesting experiences where
1- i've been able to read exactly what was going through the minds of my family members, unintentionally.
2- I've also been having strange vivid dreams which make me feel vulnerable and drained in the morning instead of fresh.
3- My intuition which was always very strong has ramped up x a million. I've become insanely sensitive to surrounding energies and a visit to the grocery store makes me exhausted.
4- I'm also an astrologer and my astrological and divination skills sped up and fine tuned massively.
|
I don't fully understand how much of this stuff works to be honest, and I haven't seen any scientific studies but these kinds of abilities seem to work at more of an unconscious level before they come through via the ego. The ego can act as a 'filter' so I can only guess that your ego was suppressing these abilities. Now that your ego has been 'damaged' (using that word very lightly) it's not 'doing its job'.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by curvedlines
fwiw, I don't have family history of mental illness. I don't take medication of any sort. I don't drink nor smoke. I was briefly worried about psychosis, but my symptoms don't seem to correspond with a psychological disorder.
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Spirituality and schizophrenia come from the same areas of the brain so I wouldn't rule out being a headcase just yet. Kidding, really. Mental health and Spirituality is a whole different can of worms, but as long as you're not a danger to yourself or others you you're not ready to be locked up.
Thanks for reading thus far. My question, in short is: What's happening to me and how do I manage it?[/quote]
My question, in short is: What's happening to me and how do I manage it?[/quote]
My guess is that your ego has 'collapsed' and isn't 'filtering' your reality as it used to, and I'm going to guess that - apart from these new 'gifts' - you're feeling like a completely different 'you'. The best way to 'manage' it is to get to know this 'new you' of yours, and that should make your Life pretty interesting. It would probably help to start 'filtering' on a more conscious level, because it's possible that in time, it's going to overwhelm you and that would not be pleasant. Don't shut it down because your talents could come in useful, close them down near family but use them when you could use a little 'extra info'. If you're sensitive to energies then by all means use it to your advantage, but only 'bring it into play' when you need to.
Just you not getting enough sleep and feeling tired all the time is probably affecting you already. If your dreams make you feel vulnerable - and dreams are the unconscious 'talking' to the conscious - then I would say that your feelings of being vulnerable mean that deep down you don't feel in control.
If it helps use visualisations. Think of your talents as aspects of yourself that you can 'pull out', use and 'put back again' as and when you need to. When you feel as though you want to put your talents to one side, visualise putting them in a drawer when they get too much. If you're talking to someone and something is niggling at you about them, open up the 'intuition drawer', use it then put it back again. In time it'll become automatic.
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