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Old 24-06-2021, 03:12 AM
Traveler Traveler is offline
Join Date: May 2021
Posts: 88
Cord cutting only severs negative cords, not positive ones.
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Old 24-06-2021, 11:34 AM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 5,434
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The only cords you cannot cut are the ones you still need, and thus still have lots of energy in 'em, whether good or bad for you.
Variety of that is the ones you aren't ready to let go of yet. You may want to consciously but subconsciously aren't ready. Then you can cut all you want, it either won't go or will come back.

The ones you shouldn't cut are the positive ones as they serve you, but that doesn't mean you cannot cut them. BTW, if they truly serve you, they will come back too.
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Old 29-06-2021, 09:12 PM
Posts: n/a
Don't want to like anybody else than the twin flame
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Old 30-06-2021, 03:04 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 338
To DaisySunshine

First of all if I may comment on some of the things beside from the cord cutting issue (I will refer to it later on)

Things get real complicated when one has a romantic set of feelings for someone and that someone only has friendship kind of love feelings for you. It means you are when you have met in that field, within yourselves, you are unbalanced. You can not make someone fall in love with you, it has to happen if and when that person is ready, it is not on you, that person is in it's own process and for some reason does not "wake up" to the call of romantic love. So it is no use to get frustraded or think you have failed in some way. If it happens it happens because that individual is then open to it and has reached that stage within it's own process. I say this because I use to have a strong co dependence streak in me from childhood and was always trying to make it easier for everyone else (because of being overly empathic) and if someone had a kind of addiction I tried to do more than what was in my power to change that. And I guess I had to learn the hard way it can't be done. So figuring out where your power, your responsibilty start and ends and where this other person does is one thing.

I kind of reacted on your friends pressuring you to ask him if he had plans to marry the one he dated or who is his girlfriend - but he has only seen her for 4 months. 4 months into a romantic relationship everything is usually fine and yes you can daydream and you can hope that all ends well and you'll end up married but being married is anyhow no quarantee that you are home and safe. Anyhow usually into 4 months of dating things are peachy. I don't know what age your friend's are at, but I suspect as you grow older you're not going to even ask that question so soon into a relationship. However, it is still not a dangerous question to ask, it may just be impossible to answer and one might not get the right answer either as it is that early. It's not really important. What is important is if he has a romantic set of feelings for her, if he is devoted to her.

If you feel that you have lied to him about your true feelings and regret it then yes then you can make it right, but mostly make it right for you, to tell him I do have romantic feelings for you and I did not mean what I said before. Then it is up to him. If he does not have it then you two has not met at the time when you are both ready, one can't force these things but hey life would be more easier if we could, right?

If he doesn't then for your own dignity, self respect and for you to have it all in the future best way is to withdraw. It can of course be more difficult, if not impossible, for the person having stronger set of romantic feelings than the person in question so if you can't do it at this stage then it is better if he does.

For the romance to be successfull you two have to meet on equal ground, with the same intentions. Then it will blossom. Then that's the time.

I too have had to have cord cut but that was not the real issue which I later learned.

In retrospect my connection with him was over and done with as far as my ego was concerned, but my subcounscoius was apparently a different manner. I did not know it then but he went through the same thing. I blame at least part of the problem to have been that the break up came so suddenly and because he did it to me without warning. That I did not experience that we had a period of being unhappy together, struggling together, to make it right. Instead we were engaged and about to plan our upcoming wedding in the future (and you can just guess how cynical I got about weddings after that, before finally being able to change that attitude in me). The evening of it I experienced we were in harmony and our home was in harmony and I think that was why it was such a shock to me how it could have happened. That has too been such a big deal to me that because of that I don't trust it when its good in a relationship, I don't give all of me, I have always held back a part and I don't think it has been good in the relationships I was to enter later on in life. If my ex felt he was making a mistake that evening then he did not make a better one the following day when he searched for me. I think he was in truth ashamed but he did not act ashamed. He did not take responsibility and he did not apologise. Instead he was trying to make it look like he was not guilty and that he hadn't remembered and he was just really angry and proud, not at all humble. And that was the second emotional punch I got from him. There was more to follow and at some stage after the break up I fell out of love with him and even if I was to briefly see him again in a romantic way years after that my mind had trouble seeing him as the guy I had been so in love with before. I instead thought of him as the friend he had become over time, but he said he saw me as the same. At the time I had no knowledge or clue so I was not looking into the facts that he could have had a long term effect from quitting drinking. I knew about the first phase of it, that he had sudden anxiety feelings but then that went away and he seemed to be in harmony with me, but I guess it was still fragile but I did not see it. He did not have the patience I had when discussing something and instead the break up came. Some time after that he called me drunk and then I knew he was back in his old ways and me being an ex I couldn't do anything about it. So I guess we kind of had our own processes, separate, and we just could not really meet, be at the same place within ourselves after that (he did receive help with the drinking). Just when I thought I would not see him again (I remember he kind of screamed Fine! about the break up to me the following day, as if he was fine with us having broken up) he began what would become a stalking period. And during this period I was really lost at what was happening with him. He then felt entitled to seek me out and even to question me, to call 70 or more times in a row. He just acted entitled and angry. I could see it in his eyes that there was something strange going on. Then thankfully that period ended. I would say during that period I was in my own process of pain and I had no energy left to deal with his. I just wanted to be left alone so I could rebuilt myself. I would say it was during his stalking period when I got afraid of him and perhaps in it's own way that was yet another emotional punch that this is what he could turn into (he never touched me or threaten to beat me or kill me but he was still saying and acting in a strange, threatful manner). It was as if he had completely blanked out the break up and everything. He was still acting angry and just entitled and frustraded. And I was wondering to myself who is he? Really? I had never seen that side to him before.

Now I don't know about you two but my guess is that you still have the dream and the dream and the hope what you imagine the two of you being together as a couple would be like, and that is powerful.

Then you too have what you feel is unfinished business as in not being truthful.

If I were you I would contact him again, spill out the beans, and then if he still does not feel what you feel - then you have done all you can do and I think then the subcounscious will not still carry on something. Because then the decision isn't yours. And you have done all that you can do.

It is not dangerous to cut like that if you will manage to do so before having finished all the steps (the unfinished business part)then it will grown back until you no longer have and are aware first of all that you have those, that is. I say this because that is my own experience of it.

I use to have this connection with my first ex boyfriend to the point where I would feel it if he got hurt or in danger and even when he had that period when he tried to change but changed in a negative way as in then moving into a really superficial world with expensive life styles, and instead all it did was to still or to make him worse unhappy than before, during that time I was like Ugh... but then he kind of moved into the real him again, his true colors.

He had it so much that he would always call me "My..." and my name right after, which was something he had done when we were a couple (and after the break up when he called drunk) said those who knew him and in a childish way he would give other ex girlfriends some stupid nicknames after the break ups, but the problem they said was that I was always "my...".
What seemed to have worked for him is that he moved on by simply writing me a letter where he stated I was the love of his life. At the time we had gone zero contact for God I don't know, was it a year or several years?? Somewhere around that period. So imagine my shock when I got the letter and my first thought was that he was in trouble, that he was not mentally doing so great, even if there was no cry for help I knew him - he would never do that to nobody, he was always set to help others and not ever acknoledge he needed help.

Why I think and I hope he moved on after having written that letter is that some time afterwards he got serious about someone, which hadn't happened all the time before, after he caused our break up. He had had girlfriends before me. This was why I thought I would be easily replaced. But he then would have short lived relationships but that could to be because of his life style then, but if I sum up all the stuff he had said and shown me - he was not finished. But it was hard for me back then to take to heart that he truly did love me. I had before been so vulnerable to his emotional punches that this wall had come up.

Even if I could not be on the same page as him at the time I don't think it mattered as much because he then knew he had done all he could do and he had been honest with his emotions. And he was able to move on. So I guess what I am saying is I think your mind will stop rambling about it, that you go back and think why did I say that? and so on, if you make this final and just say what you want to say, and regardless of his reply it will then take you further to the next step and hopefully you'll be free.

PS I had to seriously edit my answer because when I first looked at it and saw how long it was ...God...sorry about that =) still long but hope you made it through...

Last edited by asearcher : 01-07-2021 at 05:13 AM.
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