Who are you pretending to be

[TrueSight]

I watched a movie about magicians/illusionists about a week ago and one of the showmen needed a double for a trick he was performing so they found a drunk who just happened to have the same facial features as him and then trained him to move and talk in the same way and manner as the showman and after a while you couldnt tell them apart.

I got the quote "Who are you pretending to be" stuck in my head since watching this movie and now I feel that every conversation I have with someone is just "me" questioning who this "person" is that i am observing and if he/she is in anyway at all real and who is this one that I am identifing as or pretending to be.
I do still get immersed in the various topics as usual but often go back to the questioning atleast a few times during and after the interaction.
Not a very popular topic to broach with people I've noticed(nobody wants to be questioned, even more so about their very existence) so I mostly keep it to myself but it just keeps popping up to my awareness all the time.
I have been "practicing" self inquiry and other non-dualism ways of observing thought by Mooji and Eckhart tolle for quite a while but this last week have been something else.

Sometimes when I just do nothing and observe all the random thoughts that somehow seem to make up a person it feels like my whole being just drifts in different directions and that the world as I know it is on the verge of collapsing, cant really describe it better than that. Maybe an ego death is occuring I don't know. I also wonder what would happen after an ego death if the being experienceing it is extremly identified with its ego/person.

Anyhow enough rambling(almost),
I have been asking myself and some characters/persons close to me if I/they can in a solid way provide objective proof that the person they identify with actually exist and is not just a bunch of thoughts and ideas that are held on to and being asserted to their surrounding all the time and then bounced back to them giving them the feeling of existing or being real.

Like for example, two beings can observe an orange and a tree and both can say it is there, its an objective fact(is anything real at all is also something to ponder but maybe not in this thread).
But a person really seem to be nothing more than just an Idea, I have read it in books for a couple of years now but only recently really started to understand and experience that information.
I noticed also that there seem to be some sort of strange polarity thing happening for me the last few days as I drift more and more into these experiences then simulatiously more and more self-sabotage tendencies and cravings are happening that really wreck the body and mind with low vibing foods and stimuli, almost uncontrollable.
Seems like this might be a good place to vent these thoughts and if
anyone here can provide some objective proof that they do exist as a person with a name, past,beliefs and so on I would be very interested in reading about it, not to question you but to get some perspective on this whole thing.

It kinda feels like a person identity is slowly dying all the time and it knows this sub-conciously so it has to assert itself and have other beings(other dying person identities) give them life by believing that they are real. Almost like if everyone else ignored a person who mostly got his attention life force from others he would just do all sorts of desperate things to get noticed, criminal acts, negative attention in all different ways just to get some feedback that he/she do exist.

I have for quite a long time pretended to be a wronged victim that is both superior and inferior to my surroundings with a very volatile fluctuation in which of the two that is experienced at any given moment resulting in a very unstable and fractured life experience.
Its been a ride but it now seems almost futile to continue on with this and I feel that rest from all this, good and bad is the priority from here on.

If someone who reads this feel like they been in these ponderings and maybe transcended it I would very much apprieciate some guiding in where to go from here because being "trapped" identifying out of sheer habit as someone who seems fake and unreal is quite a strange and undesired experience.