Letter To My Twin

[Mr_Determined]

I never thought I would return to this section of the forum, simply because I held an intense doubt and needed time to clarify much of the uncertainty of this journey ahead.


I must admit, for twelve years or possibly more I was a runner from my twin! (I had absolutely no idea what was happening or known anything about the twin journey), I was literally like saying to myself; 'what's this detour' every time I went my own way. But knowing someone had a deep infatuated connection with me, freaked me out by their approach without a word exchanged, caught out by surprise and most seemingly unaware sent me off balance.

I decided to do some research which soon lead me to joining SF.

Since being a member of this fabulous forum, I appreciated the smallest amount of time my twin and I conversed with the use of intergalactic/universal air waves (telepathy).

As much as I was eager to learn from my twin, I'm sorry they felt friction from me as their energy was being drained. (I still have my spiritual L plates).

I have accepted total responsibility for many things that didn't go according to my twins way. In spite of the preconceived superstitious beliefs my twin had thought about me that were vividly untrue, I can't be held accountable for.

I had made it to union when my twin had chosen to go silent a month ago, for they thought I was giving them my silent treatment. Not so, I was facing some heavy past regrets.

I know my twin will be reading this, so my message to her is, there's no need for her to worry or blame herself anymore, I don't at all deny or despise you! Actually, I seriously do care so much that you had the key to unlock my heart and mind up to a whole new way of dealing with my self-destructive emotions and thoughts. Not only did I hurt you and many others in my life time, I was hurting myself even more.

Our journey is a wreck, like crashing a car before you get in the drivers seat, and she knows I don't drive.

I feel at times you may be resentful towards me, but I know deep down just how much you care.

You know that saying; "Are you a man or a mouse!"

Well since the spiritual walls caved in, that red eyed vermin inside of me is being dealt with on a daily basis.

Now that we have changed routines, I've found myself in your position all those years ago! However, I'm not going to pressure you for desiring to go your own way. You've done all that you can, and I'm very grateful you served your purpose to me!

Many thanks and much love always.

M.


P.S Now it's my turn to cry!

People can change a heck of a lot in 12 years. She may not be the same person. Besides, why should she listen to you/read you now? How sure can you be that the telepathy was actual and not your wishful imagination? How can you know, if united, that history wouldn't repeat itself?

I sometimes wonder if someone who hurt me years ago now feels any regret but I can't think I'd be recognised if so. It would be miracle indeed if two people were still aligned after all that time. Possible if we'd both changed and could really start off afresh, no recriminations, blame, past history.

I think we all still wear our "spiritual L plates". Just my belief but living is spirituality and we have a while yet to go. There's much to learn. So learn from your regrets. We so often realise too late the value of something that we've lost.

Wishing you all the best.

[Mr_Determined]

Hi Lorelyen, thank you kindly for your reply. Sorry if I come across as a bit tense in my response to your questions.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

People can change a heck of a lot in 12 years. She may not be the same person.

She is indeed the same person who I met 30+ years ago, she was always pretty with a bright, bubbly and outgoing personality as most, (if not) all girls are!

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Besides, why should she listen to you/read you now?

I'm not coercing her, I do feel as though she were seeking answers that she never received. She is entitled to read it, accept it or reject it, that is entirely her choice.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

How sure can you be that the telepathy was actual and not your wishful imagination?

Telepathy consists of two categories, communication to transmit thoughts and a perception to receive thoughts from others.

Wishful imagination/thinking is a form of escapism, for instance; locking the door to your thoughts and preventing an open mind of communication with others.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

How can you know, if united, that history wouldn't repeat itself?

Are you not aware that stranger things have happened! History has evidently proven to mankind a way of repeating cycles like a revolving door over and over again.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I sometimes wonder if someone who hurt me years ago now feels any regret but I can't think I'd be recognised if so. It would be miracle indeed if two people were still aligned after all that time. Possible if we'd both changed and could really start off afresh, no recriminations, blame, past history.

I do hold onto the belief that, anything is possible!

Based upon my observation from various sources I seem to agree with, to the dynamic of a twin journey being in a continuous progression, forever criss-crossing paths throughout our entire life, supposedly that connection can never really be severed unless one deceases before the other, or one vehemently chooses to cut the connection to their counter-part, but in doing so may trigger drastic consequences.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

I think we all still wear our "spiritual L plates". Just my belief but living is spirituality and we have a while yet to go.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

There's much to learn. So learn from your regrets. We so often realise too late the value of something that we've lost.

You are right! I would prefer to be wrong most of the time rather than thinking I am right, what then would be the point of learning if we knew everything. Would we be too over-qualified of our positions in life that hardly any one would take us seriously.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Wishing you all the best.

Thanks Lorelyen

[ONEsoul]

Just a quick reply and respone.
I agree, the connection can NEVER be broken.
The purpose of the connection is a gift, even though most often it feels like a curse

It most likely will never result in a conventional "love/romantic" relationship
That is the curse
The blessing is, that this evolves into on a long journey of self discovery that could have never been experienced otherwise.
WHY is the journey so often times experienced ALONE, because if you were with anyone , including your twin, you would not be able to separate your identity his/her, and you could possibly lose your SELF, and it would be too contentious.
Is this connection woth it? Absolutely
Do you experience the highest level on a spiritual connection possible with this person /higher self? Yes
Does it mean that you do not endure sometimes unbearable sufferring? No
Is it all worth it? Yes

[Mr_Determined]

Originally Posted by ONEsoul

The blessing is, that this evolves into on a long journey of self discovery that could have never been experienced otherwise.

Hi ONEsoul,

Thanks for the affirmative confirmation, all of what you stated in your response, resonates with me.

As for my self-discovery; That further explains the reason I went down the path I had chosen, because I needed the reassurance that this connection wasn't just some fantasy! My twin (who I have known a very long time) knew I was her twin, but I ignored all the bells and whistles which resulted in years of banging my head against the wall, so to speak.

I've come to the realization that my twin has been helping with my spiritual growth all along, (she's like my guardian angel in a sense). We have shared many other familiarities on this journey for observing each others awareness, emotions, frequencies and so on! Sometimes, it's a little overwhelming and I will steadily back off for a few days just to recuperate. I really do think the blessing she wants to notice is of me at my best positive attitude and healthiest behavior!

It's been an extraordinary experience so far. However, there are a few underlying issues that need to be bought up to the surface. All in precious time.

Thanks again for your quick reply.

[ONEsoul]

Mr Determined,

One thing that you will learn along this path, is that if the connection is real, it never leaves. They are ALWAYS there to help and assist. Sometimes the absence is intentional . It allows you to develop coping skills on your own. It delivers you from being dependent upon them. However, when you are at the end of your rope, and feel you cannot go on, their loving energy always shows up. I personally believe, this is orchestrated by GOD above, our creator. So many people on this forum desire to have their love, in their life, to fulfill the void within them self This is the beginning of this painful journey You are given a taste of this sweet soothing elixir to your soul, but can never have it in a tangible manifested form. You only believe that if you were together all would be well This is the carrot, that leads you to the journey. It is as painfully difficult, as it is blissfully/ecstatically wondrous No two stories are alike, and each persons journey is unique. I can only offer support and tell you that it does get easier, and it is worth it xo.

[Mr_Determined]

Originally Posted by ONEsoul

Mr Determined,

One thing that you will learn along this path, is that if the connection is real, it never leaves. They are ALWAYS there to help and assist. Sometimes the absence is intentional . It allows you to develop coping skills on your own. It delivers you from being dependent upon them. However, when you are at the end of your rope, and feel you cannot go on, their loving energy always shows up. I personally believe, this is orchestrated by GOD above, our creator.

The illustration you have provided has happened on various occasions over the years in a very subtle manner, yes, I'm fully aware the connection won't ever leave, not that I would want it to be any other way for now, but knowing well enough that deep down something good may later benefit throughout this awkward experience.

Originally Posted by ONEsoul

So many people on this forum desire to have their love, in their life, to fulfill the void within them self This is the beginning of this painful journey You are given a taste of this sweet soothing elixir to your soul, but can never have it in a tangible manifested form.

Agreed, I think that if other twins can find the stability they need throughout their journey, it's possible that `I can't guarantee' another reuniting may occur at some near point in future or perhaps at the end of their life time. But I certainly don't want to wait another 20-30 years.

Originally Posted by ONEsoul

You only believe that if you were together all would be well This is the carrot, that leads you to the journey. It is as painfully difficult, as it is blissfully/ecstatically wondrous No two stories are alike, and each persons journey is unique. I can only offer support and tell you that it does get easier, and it is worth it xo.

Thank you ONEsoul by your encouragement/support.

If we were together, it probably wouldn't have lasted simply because of our vast contrast of opinions, belief systems, etc. Such attachments without any common ground would have played a major role that would have lead us to eventually divide/separate no matter how complex two strive at being united.

I have now come to the conclusion that I will have to allow all of this to slide for now. It's not only in my best interest, but also for the greater interest of my twin.

Chasers and runners should immediately stop focusing on this cat and mouse game. This literally further enhances more salt to be poured into an existing and open wound on both sides and increases the pain twins both feel. Therefore love/healing cannot run it's natural course if we refuse to look to our own hurt and deal with it.

How little I knew of the concept at the time. If this is what many define as the state of soul-shock, it definitely is excruciating!

For my twin; I'm loving and leaving you alone now sweetie! It's not that I want to, but it's only for our own good. May we be near from time to time, but not all the time. Take care!

[Lynn]

Hello

While there are vast levels of understanding around this "Twin Flame" notion, we have to all remember that we all are energy and in that we can all project that outwards. In doing so we can learn a lot from others along this path but also feel suffering along that path.

I Know the damage an energy connection can do, as I have seen and felt a lot of those over the years. I too know that at times writing a letter "To the Universe" is the best way to clear things. This is at times a letter that is never read by whom it is for but it is a way to clear energy from you and around you in cutting some of the cords that ties.

There are what we call "Energy Vampires" out there that are there to only take your energy from you, and they can show as a "Twin Flame" at times and draw you in that way.

What is a true connection? Is there a connection we can prove or disprove not really. We need to be a complete individual first and foremost I so feel before we can let another into our path in life. Too many times we are looking to be "complete" when we already are a complete individual being that needs to bring in that person that "compliments" us on our path we walk, so that if that person leaves our path we are still complete in whom we are and we can move forwards with out path.

I do not feel that time heals all wounds and that time will clear the air and change people and relationships. If its energy based time is pointless to the situation at hand. Too the way I see time is that it is a man made concept that was put in place to give structure to the day and night and the flow of working and sleeping hours. In that a form of control.

Is there time in space ? Does the Universe see time ?

Lynn

[hitch]

Damn. Twelve years.

[ONEsoul]

Mr Determined,
All is well. You know in your soul what is best for you both Much LOVE to you Hang in there xoxox