Healing your emotional wounds

[umbridge]

I have found it extremely difficult for the reason that I am very rational person, I have a myriad of emotional energy waiting to release but even though when I allow and let go.. It doesn't happen so naturally, usually I get clung to the emotion to the point when I feel totally overwhelmed. I tend to sink.

Any advice?
Sending love...

[taurus]

Emotional energy usually wants to be acknowledged and understood before you can let it got. You can look at it objectively for the causes of the emotion but you also have to feel it too. Feeling the emotion and really being with the emotion is usually good enough. Overwhelm could be to you having storehouses of it. I personally found watching drama-types of TV and movies helped me experience emotion to a point of release. So start with less tense then move up to more challenging forms of emotion-evoking stimuli so it's not too much too soon!

That's just what worked for me anyway =]

[Empowers]

When the emotion is on the way out, it is possible to just let it pass by for acceptance and release. A person can have a full emotional release and never know what the direct, specific cause was for it. Some people like to know, some people don't have to.

Where I find most people get caught up is in the "acceptance and release" part. You say, you get overwhelmed and sink. To me, this means you are trying to play an active role in the experience and to avoid the effects you are having you could try to practice being more passive.

Generally, the practice is to not judge what is coming out. If you are looking for emotional release, don't dialog with the emotion. Don't try to make it justify its existence. Give your ego a different job.

The next time, try imagining that the part of you that is hurting is a small child who you can't reason with because they wouldn't understand right now, and your job is to hug them until they stop crying, then dry their tears when they're ready to go back out and play.

In meditation, people use guided meditations to give the conscious mind a job so they stop dialoging with the thoughts that float in. That would be what I recommend here - find a job that you can give your conscious mind that supports the experience happening, and one that your rational mind can accept.

[linen53]

We can't just say I want to let this emotional scar go and it goes. It doesn't work like that.

There are steps we have to take.

Traditional therapy says forgive those who have harmed you. And I firmly refused to do that. That would be validating them and not me! That would take the focus off of my pain and letting them off scott free! No way, Jose'!

Number one, practice self love. What role did you play in this incident? Do you blame yourself? Maybe you weren't strong enough to fight them off, or maybe you said something that cause this incident to occur. Or maybe you just weren't experienced enough. Or wrong place right time. Whatever it is, forgive yourself from a deep emotional level. You aren't born wise. You grow and learn as you go. (Similar to parenting). Knowledge is hindsight. I did the best I could back then. Now I would make different choices. I used to literally wrap my arms around myself and practice mothering that inner child that was so hurt.

Number two is write about the incident that caused the emotional scar. Talk to those you can confide in that will listen. Talk until you are sick and tired of talking about it. Until you feel you have purged yourself of this incident. If no one will listen then write, write, write.

Allow yourself to cry. That deep gut wrenching painful cry. As many times as you need to.

I don't know your religious or spiritual beliefs but I believe I set myself in that situation where I was harmed way before I was born when I was setting up my blueprint for life, as some call it. I chose to go through that incident because in the long run it would teach me something I needed to learn. So essentially I had to admit to myself that I put myself in harm's way. How could I feel sorry for myself if that is the case? If you don't believe like I do, just skip over this suggestion. You can still heal.

This takes time. Not weeks or months. It may take years. We are all different.

But eventually after, I don't know, maybe 10 years I was able to let it all go and heal on an emotional and spiritual level.

I didn't hurt anymore. And even further down the road I no longer had the rage I had towards those who harmed me. They were merely the vehicle I used to learn lessons. I was finally able to let them go. And there was forgiveness towards them. But only after I forgave myself.

Lastly I am comforted that I will never have to go through such trauma again, ever. It's over. Kaput, done, period.

And now? I'm glad I went through what I went through because I became the person I wanted to be. My spiritual self is so much stronger than it would have been had I not gone through what I went through.

[taurus]

Hear hear, linen53! Thank you for sharing your experience.

Originally Posted by linen53

I don't know your religious or spiritual beliefs but I believe I set myself in that situation where I was harmed way before I was born when I was setting up my blueprint for life, as some call it. I chose to go through that incident because in the long run it would teach me something I needed to learn. So essentially I had to admit to myself that I put myself in harm's way. How could I feel sorry for myself if that is the case? If you don't believe like I do, just skip over this suggestion. You can still heal.

That's a very good point! I don't know if you are also aware of this but reading this reminded me, the people you will reincarnate with choose roles they will play in this life beforehand - domineering father, absent mother. The aim is to teach lessons or to have an experience. Thank you for sharing because it's important to remind yourself not to get to caught up in blaming others and experiences. I'm still getting there myself.

[linen53]

I was thinking just a few days ago of all the corroboration from a few dozen people that worked together to help me learn my lessons and I was just blown away.

[OEN34]

When we try to let go, we are resisting.

When we are okay and accept we are resisting - this is when a shift can occur within and emotions start to move.

[Unseeking Seeker]

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As in the case of any contracting thought, instead of giving undue importance to the demon, just look at it in the eye head on.

The wave of pain & anguish ... allow it to dissipate its energy at our feet. It has no power of its own other than what we give it. The root cause is attachment & expectation in trying to make permanent the impermanent.

Who is it within us afflicted? Is it us? Or our delusional aspect of clinging to the shimmery, ephemeral mirage?

Thank the Universe for providing the detractor to correct our consciousness trajectory. Sounds brutal but the truth is undiplomatic. As for the one who has hurt us, he did so since he knew no better at this time so his actions should be accepted as such. Are we hurt because the form is human? Look at it as an animal in human form and we won’t feel bad at all!

On a practical note however, if we wish to forgive we may try Ho’oponopono. From the heart, particularly the last part where we embrace & bless the ‘enemy’ and declare our unconditional love.

On an honest note, the need to forgive reflects that the ego manifest within us seeks healing and so needs to forgive. If the ego is not, there is no perceived injury.

Whatever we do, we should disassociate our consciousness from contraction. Totally. Suppression is futile. We must transcend.

With apologies if this view does not find favour.

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