When things feel staged

(edited, third version)

For years I have experienced becoming aware in a dream state always dressed up in some evening gown, either standing up or sitting down. I'm not particularly fond of them. In the dreams it is always black, no room, no walls, but few things there, like a table or a sofa, or some candles. I can see perfectly clear despite everything being black. I can never move my body. Once when I was a child I too had this dream where I was sudden in this endless darkness, where I was sitting down and found myself somewhere in this place and I then "cried" out and someone I then know in real life appeared, frighten by my scream, and then I woke up.

What sort of bothers me these days is that my ex, of all people, is around in these dreams. At most he touches my arm or my hand. He can clearly move. That is not me saying it has to be my ex. Maybe I created this - him - what now him is. Then I have discovered his physical self had changed in the dream. When I then checked in real life he had changed into that. I swear it, I did not know. But nobody has to believe that, of course. So then the question I have thought about is if it is someone else knowing how his looks had changed and pretending to be him? This late part is because psychic experienced a long time ago that some entity, being, spirit but not the good kind, had attached itself to me and possibly could look as if it was different set of people in my dreams, complicated, I know. Took some work to get it to move on, and I hope it is not back then. All I felt during this time this was was that "he"(?) was draining me. I do not feel drained so that makes me count "him"? out, for now, at least.

The stage feeling has followed me for years in these dreams, I was not always able to see his face (the ex) and so I did not relate these dreams to have anything to do with this ex, or anyone, really.

It is always that I wake up in the dream. I have no memory of what happened before in the dream. I know nothing.

In real life during our relationship I had now and then the same staged feeling, this did not matter if we were unhappy or not, it was still there. He use to tell me that this was too good to be true, some romantic line, right, and that sort of was then my new excuse for thinking OK so that is why it feels surreal, why it feels staged, but honestly I do not think it was that. I have considered if the stage feeling I had with him or around him was because behind his security he was in fact very insecure and almost in hiding why I did not feel a true connection with him, but to me it was the surroundings too, it felt staged.

I have also thought if he already created these dreams for me, us, before we ever got to be a couple because he was into me a long, long time before we ever got together, (Yes I know what was wrong with him, not saying that would last, LOL) and if so, if this was his doing? If so is it his fault I then can not move? How does he do it? Why would he do that? That is sick, pardon me. And where are we going exactly dressed up like that? I don't see no ballroom or fancy pansy restaurant in sight? What is this??

He enjoyed upper class. That is the only thing I have to relate him to these types of dresses.

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