Reluctant to talk about this.

[russianpast_1904]

Hi everyone, so... this will be my first post here I guess? I came across this forum when I was doing a search on reincarnation discussion boards, and this one popped up so I thought it wouldn't hurt to join - that being said I am not very open to discuss this past life that I've been aware of and have had memories for years now.

I want to put a disclaimer out there: I don't want notoriety or accolades. I don't want to be known or famous. I'm not trying to find family, or to prove 100% that I was who I believe I was in the past. I just want closure. It's hard enough, remembering this past life - it's harder to discuss it on an open community like this. So if you don't believe in past lives that's okay, and I'm not going to dispute or discriminate against anyone. I know others believe they were the same individual that I believe I was. Who are we to say we were the true reincarnation of an individual? No one can prove it for certain - I mean, unless you have a past life regression.

I also want to say that when I did a search for the surname of my past life (it is a famous one), I noticed there were two members who claimed to be of this family, and one is deactivated and the other is still a member. I don't want to get into squabbles about what he/she said, or if this is true or not. I know questions will be asked, and I will answer them to the best of my ability. Again, I'm not here to prove my past life was real. I'm just here to make friends, and have closure if it is possible.

Thanks for reading/listening.

-----------------------------------------------------------

So, I believe I was Alexei Romanov. I have memories, which aren't proven but I remember them. I really am not sure where to begin. I have a bias about the Tsar and Empress, Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna, though I try to have an open mind because I know they had their faults and also weren't perfect. No one is perfect, who am I kidding I'm not perfect.

It's the month of July currently, and we are now a few days to the mid-mark of it. The anniversary of the Imperial Family's murders is coming up and it's every July. Every July that I become moody, angsty and depressed. I know why, but you'd think the slew of past life regression videos, talking to friends about it, and trying to block out memories (which is never a good idea) would have helped me move on. It's not always as easy as that. Everything is easier said than done most days.

I have memories of the night they died. Of how Alexei died. I've actually met the other Alexei on here, and we've talked and though we believe we were the same person in the past, we didn't bite one another's heads off. I've learned through out the years that even if I believe something to be my own, others will believe it too and I cannot lose sleep over people believing they were also Alexei. What would it amount to?

Anyways, so yes...

I've thought about deleting this even before posting it, because that's how reluctant I am about this. However, I'm keeping an open mind.

- russianpast_1904

[Native spirit]

Have you ever thought about going to see a past life regressionist

this could give you the answers you seek


Namaste

Hi there.... And I will tell you firstly what captured my "attention"... Not because of who you were in past life.... But because you put a "disclaimer" out there!...I am always putting out disclaimers !!!! So straight away I resonate with you. We each go down our own path of what we believe to be the truth... And sometimes it IS the truth. But you as a person have to live with you! No-one else can do that...so your truth is yours ...and yours alone. As Native spirit said... Maybe regression will confirm any of your past lives. But if this is what you feel, you know then maybe you don't feel that is appropriate. What I do know is this....in time to come , when we pass... We shall know everything there is to know!...Best of wishes on your journey....

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Have you ever thought about going to see a past life regressionist

this could give you the answers you seek


Namaste

Hello again to you Native Spirit! Thanks again for your warm welcome in the welcome thread on here !

I have considered a past life regressionist, but it's expensive and well... money is a tight situation for me right now (as it is for a lot of people given the current situation in the World). I've watched quite a few regression videos and they've only solidified my memories more so than before. Though a friend did do a cartomancy reading for me (I cannot remember exactly what cartomancy is and it was a while ago, but she told me that Alexei was indeed one of my past lives - so I suppose that is a validation?

I want to say I'm not an expert on Reincarnation, or past lives and most definitely I am not an expert on Tsar Nicholas II and his reign. I know things that I know, but I know that I could also be entirely wrong, so that's why I keep an open mind.

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Hi there.... And I will tell you firstly what captured my "attention"... Not because of who you were in past life.... But because you put a "disclaimer" out there!...I am always putting out disclaimers !!!! So straight away I resonate with you. We each go down our own path of what we believe to be the truth... And sometimes it IS the truth. But you as a person have to live with you! No-one else can do that...so your truth is yours ...and yours alone. As Native spirit said... Maybe regression will confirm any of your past lives. But if this is what you feel, you know then maybe you don't feel that is appropriate. What I do know is this....in time to come , when we pass... We shall know everything there is to know!...Best of wishes on your journey....

Hello Elfin! Thanks for reading and replying to my thread. Haha, I first read what you wrote and smiled because yes, I wanted to put a disclaimer. Because as I mentioned before, I'm not out to prove anything. I'm just here to make friends and hopefully, if at all possible have closure from that life time.

I'm glad you resonate with me on that front. It makes it easier to break ice here! Absolutely, we do all have a path that we've chosen and/or didn't choose and we are going down or up it in the great mystery we call life. I 100% agree with you, we go through life as our own selves and we need to be with our selves (that sounds weird. ). I fully agree that when we pass on, we learn what is true and what isn't. One day I'll find out.

Thanks for being so warm and welcoming - it's helpful and makes me less reluctant to write here.

Originally Posted by russianpast_1904

Hello Elfin! Thanks for reading and replying to my thread. Haha, I first read what you wrote and smiled because yes, I wanted to put a disclaimer. Because as I mentioned before, I'm not out to prove anything. I'm just here to make friends and hopefully, if at all possible have closure from that life time.

I'm glad you resonate with me on that front. It makes it easier to break ice here! Absolutely, we do all have a path that we've chosen and/or didn't choose and we are going down or up it in the great mystery we call life. I 100% agree with you, we go through life as our own selves and we need to be with our selves (that sounds weird. ). I fully agree that when we pass on, we learn what is true and what isn't. One day I'll find out.

Thanks for being so warm and welcoming - it's helpful and makes me less reluctant to write here.

Ohhh I did not realise that you were so new to the forum... ( I always was gormless lol!)... Please never be afraid to post anything. We are all friendly and supportive... And if you ever feel "lost" on here just come to me and tell me. I will guide you ( although some might say "avoid" her like the plague lol !).. I know straight away that you are quite sensitive and intuitive being a picean. Enjoy your experience on the forum..

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Ohhh I did not realise that you were so new to the forum... ( I always was gormless lol!)... Please never be afraid to post anything. We are all friendly and supportive... And if you ever feel "lost" on here just come to me and tell me. I will guide you ( although some might say "avoid" her like the plague lol !).. I know straight away that you are quite sensitive and intuitive being a picean. Enjoy your experience on the forum..

You've no idea how much it means to me seeing this. Truly.

In the past (in this life I mean), I've put my claim out there on other forums and I got joked about, made fun of, was sent nasty messages, you name it. I've just learned to roll with the punches and I try not to get into conflict or fights. I hate fighting. I really do. I don't understand the need for conflict. It's not healthy.

Well, I most certainly will take you up on that offer if I ever do! Haha, yes I am of the sign Pisces. Impressionable, and like water very flowing. I wear my heart on my sleeve and that's gotten me into quite a few tight spots over the years and heaps of trouble. But I'm as real as they come (I'd like to think at least)

Originally Posted by russianpast_1904

You've no idea how much it means to me seeing this. Truly.

In the past (in this life I mean), I've put my claim out there on other forums and I got joked about, made fun of, was sent nasty messages, you name it. I've just learned to roll with the punches and I try not to get into conflict or fights. I hate fighting. I really do. I don't understand the need for conflict. It's not healthy.

Well, I most certainly will take you up on that offer if I ever do! Haha, yes I am of the sign Pisces. Impressionable, and like water very flowing. I wear my heart on my sleeve and that's gotten me into quite a few tight spots over the years and heaps of trouble. But I'm as real as they come (I'd like to think at least)

I am sorry that you were ridiculed on other forums. That is never the way forward is it? No wonder you are putting "disclaimers" out!!!! We are all individual. We all have our own beliefs and theories... But that is not to say one is right and one is wrong. I would like to think that on this forum we are all a little bit more "grown up " than that!!!!! Take care...and no scrapping mind lololol... ( Sorry... Can't help my sense of humour!)...

[russianpast_1904]

Originally Posted by Elfin

I am sorry that you were ridiculed on other forums. That is never the way forward is it? No wonder you are putting "disclaimers" out!!!! We are all individual. We all have our own beliefs and theories... But that is not to say one is right and one is wrong. I would like to think that on this forum we are all a little bit more "grown up " than that!!!!! Take care...and no scrapping mind lololol... ( Sorry... Can't help my sense of humour!)...

Amen! I wish other people had the mindset like you do! Haha!

Yes, it was a not-so-fun experience when I was younger. I've grown up definitely, so with the experience I've had, and the lessons I've learned through such experience I feel more ready to face the music so to speak?

Your sense of humour is infectious! It makes me smile. We need more smiling these days.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought I'd share some memories. They aren't concrete. I used to (when I was a teenager) write very detailed memories, and looking back at them now, I have to laugh because they are so wordy and child-like. I get day "memories" as I like to refer to them, where it just is like a day dream I guess? Regression videos have also helped jog flashbacks as well. Sometimes, not the good kind (but we have to remember the good and bad right? I'd rather remember the happy and sad times versus blocking out either or. It wouldn't be fun at all).

One of the first people I recognised from the past was Count Alexander von Grabbe. He was the last Commander of His Imperial Majesty's Own Convoy. I saw a photograph of him and instantly recognised him. I just knew who he was, and couldn't really understand it. I just knew him. He was around the Imperial Family often, and knew them intimately. He was great friends with the Tsar, and I smile thinking about him.

Another individual that always comes to mind is Count Vladimir Freedericksz. He was the Imperial Household Minister during the reign of Tsar Nicholas II. His great moustache, and his cheerful, friendly demeanor is what I remember most. He was very funny, and he was part of the household at Tsarskoe. (or Ts.S.) I always smile when I see him in photographs and newsreel footage of the period.

I saw mention in other Romanov past-life threads about indigenous peoples during the reign of Tsar Nicholas II. I naturally call him "Papa" because that is who he was to me, and still is to me. Anyways, back to the indigenous peoples. During Papa's tenure as Tsar, Ukraine was under Russian rule. The Crimea was a vacation spot for the Imperial Family and Livadia was there. I've very fond memories of Livadia and the holidays spent there. In the Crimea there were the Tatars which were the natives of that part of the Ukraine. I remember visiting them with Papa, and/or Mama or my sisters. We would visit villages while in the Crimea. Especially the last visit, in 1916 which still makes me feel sad at times. Livadia was the sanctuary. It wasn't Tsarskoe nor Peterhof. It was the safe haven from everything. So was the Shtandart, but I'm getting carried away. Finland was also under Tsarist rule at the time, and when we would go to them, the Skerries via the Shtandart (the Imperial Family's yacht), we'd talk to the Finnish peoples there. I don't remember much but photographs do jog my memory every now and again. Most of all, it is the visits to the small, poorest towns and villages in Russia that I recall. It's the visits to the orphanages and hospitals during the War.

I have a weird thing, though maybe it isn't weird? A little passion of mine is collecting or finding photographs and film footage of the military parades and reviews. They make me feel patriotic and I always smile seeing the lines of soldiers and officers. This go around, I don't like the military... yet I have such pride and patriotism for Russia and also get so proud when listening to old military marches made during the Imperial era.

An interesting thing that I recently (well, a few years ago) found out was that one of my spirit guides is Alexei's grandmother, the Dowager Empress Maria. I watched a regression video once, and part of it was that your spirit guides guiding you (as it seems to be in most of them) and she turned out to be one of them. I don't remember her that much. She wasn't around very often. My grandmother from this life (whom I was very close to, she's since passed on (2008) often reminds me of her, and I sometimes toy with the idea that she was her reincarnation. Stranger things have happened haha.

Years ago, a very close friend of mine, whom I knew in two other past lives (funny how that works out isn't it?), did a cartomancy reading for me. For those who don't know about it, cartomancy is a form of fortune-telling/divination using a deck of cards. I remember she did it with me, and she told me that she had no doubt I was Alexei. I think it's interesting because (and I don't remember how it works) she connected another life-time (which had similar consequences at the end) I had which more-or-less mirrored Alexei's. Right down to the two revolutions, and how my other past life died. There were some differences, in the country of birth, language spoken, and age at both deaths but the similarities were uncanny.

Anyways, I think I've written too much (I always overthink things. I have a laptop sticker which depicts a cat lying upside down with the caption - "Overthinking and also hungry," which I find amusing, and had to have. One day I'll be able to get more stickers lol).

When you get me talking, I don't shut up (so I've been told) haha.

Originally Posted by russianpast_1904

Amen! I wish other people had the mindset like you do! Haha!

Yes, it was a not-so-fun experience when I was younger. I've grown up definitely, so with the experience I've had, and the lessons I've learned through such experience I feel more ready to face the music so to speak?

Your sense of humour is infectious! It makes me smile. We need more smiling these days.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I thought I'd share some memories. They aren't concrete. I used to (when I was a teenager) write very detailed memories, and looking back at them now, I have to laugh because they are so wordy and child-like. I get day "memories" as I like to refer to them, where it just is like a day dream I guess? Regression videos have also helped jog flashbacks as well. Sometimes, not the good kind (but we have to remember the good and bad right? I'd rather remember the happy and sad times versus blocking out either or. It wouldn't be fun at all).

One of the first people I recognised from the past was Count Alexander von Grabbe. He was the last Commander of His Imperial Majesty's Own Convoy. I saw a photograph of him and instantly recognised him. I just knew who he was, and couldn't really understand it. I just knew him. He was around the Imperial Family often, and knew them intimately. He was great friends with the Tsar, and I smile thinking about him.

Another individual that always comes to mind is Count Vladimir Freedericksz. He was the Imperial Household Minister during the reign of Tsar Nicholas II. His great moustache, and his cheerful, friendly demeanor is what I remember most. He was very funny, and he was part of the household at Tsarskoe. (or Ts.S.) I always smile when I see him in photographs and newsreel footage of the period.

An interesting thing that I recently (well, a few years ago) found out was that one of my spirit guides is Alexei's grandmother, the Dowager Empress Maria. I watched a regression video once, and part of it was that your spirit guides guiding you (as it seems to be in most of them) and she turned out to be one of them. I don't remember her that much. She wasn't around very often. My grandmother from this life (whom I was very close to, she's since passed on (2008) often reminds me of her, and I sometimes toy with the idea that she was her reincarnation. Stranger things have happened haha.

Years ago, a very close friend of mine, whom I knew in two other past lives (funny how that works out isn't it?), did a cartomancy reading for me. For those who don't know about it, cartomancy is a form of fortune-telling/divination using a deck of cards. I remember she did it with me, and she told me that she had no doubt I was Alexei. I think it's interesting because (and I don't remember how it works) she connected another life-time (which had similar consequences at the end) I had which more-or-less mirrored Alexei's. Right down to the two revolutions, and how my other past life died. There were some differences, in the country of birth, language spoken, and age at both deaths but the similarities were uncanny.

Anyways, I think I've written too much (I always overthink things. I have a laptop sticker which depicts a cat lying upside down with the caption - "Overthinking and also hungry," which I find amusing, and had to have. One day I'll be able to get more stickers lol).

When you get me talking, I don't shut up (so I've been told) haha.

Well there you go... And before I start I just wanted to call you "Vincent" !!!! So maybe something else to research!!!!!! And I'm not making it up!.....( Do you happen to have only one ear pray tell???...)...... But joking apart ..( although I DID want to call you Vincent!)...some things can't be explained can they? It's like when you go somewhere and that overwhelming feeling that you've been there before , even though you never have. Deja Vue or whatever it's called... The same can be said of past life experience. If you feel it so strongly it's probably because it's true! I'm very drawn to Africa... Have had visions of an African lady..etc... But never let anyone tell you you're "mad" or "deluded"... Because in our "world" you are very "normal"!! ...