Fellow Empaths?

Hi Everyone,

I hope I am posting this in the correct section. If not, please point me to where may be more appropriate.

The short of it is: I am an empath. I have known this for a long time. I am looking for other empaths who can respond to this/chat further about shared experiences and how to cope.

Quick myth busting: empaths are not just sensitive to the feelings/emotions (physical or otherwise) of another person. Empaths are sensitive to feelings, thoughts, intentions, motivations, and anything that is going on "beneath the surface" of the individual. This comes in the form of "knowing" (and trust me, that knowing is very strong when the feeling comes on).

For the first time in my life, I am having a really difficult time with my empathic nature. I mean, yes I have had a lot of difficulties with being an empath, but never a period of my experience being this sad all the time. This has been especially the case with relationships (romantic and otherwise).

Let me explain my difficulty: as an empath I learned fairly quickly that most individuals' true thoughts/feelings/intentions/motivations are not what is most often portrayed on the surface. Empaths learn early on that we human beings very often wear "social masks" in attempts to make ourselves us desirable/acceptable to others. In short, most of us spend a lot of time being quite dishonest, or lying through omission. This puts the empath in an interesting, and oftentimes painful situation: we see the truth behind the cover and that can literally be devastating, heart wrenching, and even heartbreaking to witness at times. I know I may sound dramatic right now, but other empaths will probably know what I am talking about.

Those of you who are not empaths may think "knowing the truth all the time would be great, I'd know when to get out of certain relationships, etc." This is just not accurate in my experience, because the truth of a person is usually shown to me over time. It does not happen immediately upon meeting a person. So, when you care about someone and increasingly learn painful things, it becomes a heartbreaking (and repetitious) experience. The phrase "ignorance is bliss" does not exist for me; I always know the truth, even if I do not want to.

In response to my struggles with this I have noticed myself being increasingly assertive and drawing boundaries around myself. I feel this is coming from a need to protect myself, rather than from a place of healthy self-worth and communication. I would like it to not be this way. I have started pushing people away because of it.

So, if other empaths have this experience I would LOVE to know what you all do to cope with this daily reality. Just knowing that others have similar experiences would be empowering for me. I am feeling really down right now, and am hoping that some loving empaths on this site can share your experiences to boost me up a little.

Thanks so much,

Hawk

[O]

Hello Hawk,

I am new here and not sure what gifts if any I possess, but I can totally relate to everything you wrote. I have the most difficulty dealing with 'social masks' especially at work. It can be extremely frustrating for me at times, but I have gotten better at coping with it. Everyone is different, so all I am going to do is tell you what I have done to make things better for me. Perhaps, they will help you too.

With relationships, I too have somewhat pushed people away, but only because I found it to be better for me to not be around certain people that are draining and
exhausting. It sometimes can become lonely, but I have found other outlets such as reading, writing, gardening, and crafts to keep me busy but not stressed. I now
choose my friends and social activities more carefully, and don't feel obligated to anyone or anything. That was a tough one for me, but I am more at peace and
relaxed now. With romantic relationships, I needed to work on communication, patience, and expressing myself better.

Also, finding places like this and discussing with others helps greatly. With work, I have learned techniques such grounding, shielding, releasing, and affirmations that
help deal with the 'social masks'.

Hope this helps!

You don't need them, follow the path of wisdom brother
its not available to all
Your intellect can see the way though, it can see it so much better..

send me a private message i think we may be of use to eachother

[bay9514]

I am happy to say i, too, am an empath. I have made a thread for empaths (or non empaths) in the spirituality section. Its called empath haven. I hope i can see you all and many others there. Theres a ton of stuff i didnt post and dont know about being an empath, so im hopeing to get some others on my boat. I just want to help and inform people about the topic. Talk about things that have happend to you, questions, quotes. Anything and everything. All are welcome

[ThreeOfWhite]

An interesting read... Is being more assertive so bad? Regardless of the reason for doing so being assertive is a positive thing, as long as it is still short of being aggressive. I wonder more what makes you push people away is it that you have opened yourself to people and then been hurt by the truth of them? Perhaps drawing a boundery over your heart and only allowing things in slowly as you know them might help. I hope none of this post is offensive. I was just musing and perhaps my train of thought could be helpful. The other option I see is to somehow devolp you empathy to the point of knowing right away so there are no nasty surprises. That seems much more difficult and a very lonely way to live. Either way I hope you find the answers you need. What would you say or do if you knew someone that was a direct mirror of your problems.

[bay9514]

I find myself doing some of the same things. Some days i find myself even keeping my distance from my family. Now i just try to block out all the nagative. It helps if your with at least one person who is always happy, and in a good mode. If you keep your focus on him or her i find the nagative energys dont get through as much. I never noticed before reading your post how carfuly i chose who i like to have around me, or why. I only ever date girls who are always happy and smileing. No clue how helpfull this was, but i like to write out what i think. I like to write anything

[O]

I loved your comments bay and three. I'm going to check out that thread now, bay!

Thank you all so much for your responses, it means a lot.

Olivia13, I'm glad to hear there is someone who has had some similar experiences. I'm really glad that you have found some self-care and energy strengthening techniques that have been working for you. I think I need to invest more time and energy into taking care of myself sometimes, which is kind of hard to admit!

A7continuum, I'm not sure what you mean but I will send you a PM to hopefully get a better understanding. :)

ThreeOfWhite, nothing in your post was offensive to me. In fact, I very much appreciate your willingness to share your train of thought with me and everyone else who has read my thread. You are absolutely right when you say that I push people away because I have opened myself up to them and then been hurt by the truth. That is part of the problem, because I usually discover truths here and there empathically over time. If I knew how to develop my abilities to the point of knowing automatically I would! But yes, that would also be a very lonely way to live.... Within the past year or so I have really been on a journey of stripping away the "phony" and living from a more authentic place. This has not been entirely conscious or intentional, but it is happening regardless. As a result, I don't have much patience for "playing the game" or "playing it safe" with people because it feels phony to me. That's been part of my struggle too. As an empath that sees very easily past the fake aspects of social interaction, it's hard for me to invest in those things and hard for me to watch others doing them.

bay9514, I am definitely going to check out the thread you started. I think it could be very helpful for me to check that out further. I think I have also very carefully chosen the people I have around me most. Still, it's painful when you see a lot of good in someone that draws you to them like a magnet but they are too afraid to be vulnerable and share those beautiful gifts with you and others in their lives. That is always very painful for me to witness as an empath.

Having EMP - Electromagnetic perception is not easy to live with as you have said and as I know from my own experiences.

As such a natural ability is not yet fully understood and/or accepted by science and by societies such people whom have EMP are labelled as crazy.
Peoples lack of understanding and the quick to judge attitude.

To note: I intentionally have had 5 separate mental health evaluations by five different specialist doctors. In each case each one said I was perfectly sane and there was nothing wrong with me. As to the lets call it 'sensations' they were baffled and said 'hmm, maybe you probably need more sleep' in almost every case.

If you do have EMP and your sane best of luck to you, avoid the insane people with EMP just a note worth mentioning.

OSPREY1

Originally Posted by OSPREY1

Having EMP - Electromagnetic perception is not easy to live with as you have said and as I know from my own experiences.

As such a natural ability is not yet fully understood and/or accepted by science and by societies such people whom have EMP are labelled as crazy.
Peoples lack of understanding and the quick to judge attitude.

To note: I intentionally have had 5 separate mental health evaluations by five different specialist doctors. In each case each one said I was perfectly sane and there was nothing wrong with me. As to the lets call it 'sensations' they were baffled and said 'hmm, maybe you probably need more sleep' in almost every case.

If you do have EMP and your sane best of luck to you, avoid the insane people with EMP just a note worth mentioning.

OSPREY1

I'm fairly certain I am relatively sane, whatever that means! Haha. I am a therapist myself. I have not heard of the term EMP, I will read more about that. Thanks!