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19-11-2020, 04:25 PM
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Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 672
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Having to overcome shame
Hii,
If I ever want to be comfortable with myself, I got to be random... like really random. At least too random for some.
This is far from appreciated. However it’s me... I dislike to be disliked. But I also like being myself. How else could I have fun?
Have to overcome the shame and let others judge like whatever...
Kindness,
Cosmic Wonder
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19-11-2020, 04:45 PM
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Master
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Colorado, USA
Posts: 14,647
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Always be yourself CosmicWonder. If others don't like that then it's their problem. True friends are unconditional. Let your light shine!
__________________
Deb
If you hit rock bottom, start picking up rocks.
You know nothing, Jon Snow. Ygritte from Game of Thrones.
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19-11-2020, 04:47 PM
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Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 672
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Thanks Linen!!’
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19-11-2020, 05:11 PM
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Master
Join Date: Feb 2020
Posts: 7,365
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I agree with Linen , and there is NO shame in being your true self.
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19-11-2020, 08:42 PM
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Master
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 7,941
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Also agree but you mention others' reactions to you so I suppose it's how far removed from others' (not unreasonable) expectations and how predictable you are if you want others to engage in social interactions with you.
you mention random which suggests unpredictable and in its lighter form whimsical, mercurial even. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you're happy with people keeping you at arms length. They won't be able to rely on your reaction to a situation. On the upside you won't have to rely on others' reactions to you.
As Linen 53 says, true friends are unconditional but that usually comes with a deep understanding of each other and a degree of constancy.
.
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20-11-2020, 12:22 AM
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Master
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 2,342
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Are you being random to innoculate yourself against feelings of shame?
So, in other words, does being random provide you with the opportunity to feel your shame asscoiated with the action which in turn helps you to actively process your inner feelings of shame?
Are there two seemingly polarising forces at play creating discomfort? Is there a way to synthesis both desires?
__________________
"Mine are not the years which time took from me,
Mine are not the years which perchance might come,
The moment is mine and if I take care of it -
It shall be mine, that which made time and eternity". Andreas Gyrphius.
"Ran amok in a strip called love,
Lost my mind in a street of Neon" - Julian Hamilton
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20-11-2020, 10:45 AM
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Guide
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 672
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Thanks both for the responses...
RedEmbers, not so much to prevent shame. More to being capable of ventilating myself. But sure, shame is an issue
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21-11-2020, 04:32 AM
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Pathfinder
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedEmbers
Are you being random to innoculate yourself against feelings of shame?
So, in other words, does being random provide you with the opportunity to feel your shame asscoiated with the action which in turn helps you to actively process your inner feelings of shame?
Are there two seemingly polarising forces at play creating discomfort? Is there a way to synthesis both desires?
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I read this as self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you put yourself in situations where you react by acting out eccentrically and then feeling shame for not being received fully? I've felt that. I think the trick is to appreciate your own weirdness as an inside joke. Not everyone will understand, and that's ok. Reacting randomly is a form of intuition, going with the flow. Respond innocently and with good intentions to the world around you. If folks react with judgement, what a bummer they can't appreciate some whimsy 
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