Having to overcome shame

CosmicWonder · #1 19-11-2020, 04:25 PM

Hii,

If I ever want to be comfortable with myself, I got to be random... like really random. At least too random for some.

This is far from appreciated. However it’s me... I dislike to be disliked. But I also like being myself. How else could I have fun?

Have to overcome the shame and let others judge like whatever...

Kindness,

Cosmic Wonder

linen53 · #2 19-11-2020, 04:45 PM

Always be yourself CosmicWonder. If others don't like that then it's their problem. True friends are unconditional. Let your light shine!

CosmicWonder · #3 19-11-2020, 04:47 PM

Thanks Linen!!’

Elfin · #4 19-11-2020, 05:11 PM

I agree with Linen , and there is NO shame in being your true self.

Lorelyen · #5 19-11-2020, 08:42 PM

Also agree but you mention others' reactions to you so I suppose it's how far removed from others' (not unreasonable) expectations and how predictable you are if you want others to engage in social interactions with you.

you mention random which suggests unpredictable and in its lighter form whimsical, mercurial even. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you're happy with people keeping you at arms length. They won't be able to rely on your reaction to a situation. On the upside you won't have to rely on others' reactions to you.

As Linen 53 says, true friends are unconditional but that usually comes with a deep understanding of each other and a degree of constancy.
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RedEmbers · #6 20-11-2020, 12:22 AM

Are you being random to innoculate yourself against feelings of shame?

So, in other words, does being random provide you with the opportunity to feel your shame asscoiated with the action which in turn helps you to actively process your inner feelings of shame?

Are there two seemingly polarising forces at play creating discomfort? Is there a way to synthesis both desires?

CosmicWonder · #7 20-11-2020, 10:45 AM

Thanks both for the responses...

RedEmbers, not so much to prevent shame. More to being capable of ventilating myself. But sure, shame is an issue

sikaphant · #8 21-11-2020, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

Are you being random to innoculate yourself against feelings of shame?

So, in other words, does being random provide you with the opportunity to feel your shame asscoiated with the action which in turn helps you to actively process your inner feelings of shame?

Are there two seemingly polarising forces at play creating discomfort? Is there a way to synthesis both desires?

I read this as self-fulfilling prophecy. Do you put yourself in situations where you react by acting out eccentrically and then feeling shame for not being received fully? I've felt that. I think the trick is to appreciate your own weirdness as an inside joke. Not everyone will understand, and that's ok. Reacting randomly is a form of intuition, going with the flow. Respond innocently and with good intentions to the world around you. If folks react with judgement, what a bummer they can't appreciate some whimsy