Reclaiming personal power from someone

[alphamind]

Hi

I will not make this complicated or go into detail, but will expain it very simply. I, foolishly, have given myself to another (a female) who does not wish well of me. It IS a long story, but can't help but feel part of my soul is in her hands now. I actually felt the life force drain out of me yesterday when I gave it away. My question obviously is, how do I recover and reclaim personal power from this? I don't feel like my full self. Thank you.

I have a question Alpha.
Do you still feel any attachment to this person?

Like a heart pull?

I have found, it isn't so simple to negate such feelings.
I usually just sit with them, when they emerge (and try not to box/repress them in).

That love is valuable.
So better not to repress it.
Instead just sit with it, and allow it to be.
It will eventually fade (and I found talking it out with others, when it occurs, is helpful as well).

I don't know about any 'soul' parts being given away.
Sorry.

[alphamind]

It's a soul mate apparently, according to a reading I had gotten in the past. I don't know if soul mate's can change, but I have descended in the process of months of either inaction, or interfering with the divinity of the relationship through my own delusions and crossing lines. Now this person does not want anything to do with me, and yet feel that it holds a essential component of who I am.

Originally Posted by alphamind

It's a soul mate apparently, according to a reading I had gotten in the past. I don't know if soul mate's can change, but I have descended in the process of months of either inaction, or interfering with the divinity of the relationship through my own delusions and crossing lines. Now this person does not want anything to do with me, and yet feel that it holds a essential component of who I am.

Emotional ties can easily turn into burdens, if you do not keep expressing them fully.

Just keep sharing, how you are feeling, even if, to no one in particular.
That is what I do.

I even write letters, for example, but do not send them.

I was tied to one mystical type person once and it took over a decade before I began to let go (of wanting them in my life).

I wasn't even in a relationship with them (they were like a father figure/mate combined figure for me).

So, it might feel like you need them in order to survive, but the truth is, right at this time, you do not (otherwise, you'd be dead).

Of course logic doesn't work on the heart. But the reality is, you are not with them and that is a fact.

Rather than concentrate on trying to get them back, in some form or another, focus on just sharing what you are feeling, instead.

Sharing is the key (besides the sitting with feelings as they emerge in presence, I mentioned above....just to keep turning a positive light on these unfortunate circumstances for you).

[alphamind]

Thank you, eileen rose.

Well it happened again just as I was making progress in detaching; she kicked me out and it feels bad.

The thing is while I may not necessarily need one in order to survive, the "not being okay in good terms" with someone takes hold over my consciousness and affects all other relationships and areas of life. Sometimes, just for mistakes.

I have not found another way to Redeem other than somewhat apologizing and coming to better terms with the other person. As we're all connected and some persons are important, it's messed up if you messed up your Name with them, in this lifetime.

I know these thoughts aren't likely coming from the highest light, but sharing (writing them) does help.

[alphamind]

I also admit to having obsession issues though. You can't see it till you get smacked in the face. :p

[12meadows]

you are capable of so much more than you realize. right now your focus is on her. it is obvious that this is not something that is positive in your life. stop and sit back and look at where it is you want to be. not physically (as in with this person, etc) but emotionally. you have everything you need be whole and complete without anyone else. focus on you. writing has been very helpful to me in getting things in focus. finding the ability to express yourself- especially to yourself- will help you get your thoughts in order. think positive. be grateful. this experience is bound to have taught you a great deal about yourself. you can move forward. I wish you well :)

[alphamind]

Originally Posted by 12meadows

this experience is bound to have taught you a great deal about yourself. you can move forward. I wish you well :)

Many thanks :)

Originally Posted by alphamind

Thank you, eileen rose.

Well it happened again just as I was making progress in detaching; she kicked me out and it feels bad.

The thing is while I may not necessarily need one in order to survive, the "not being okay in good terms" with someone takes hold over my consciousness and affects all other relationships and areas of life. Sometimes, just for mistakes.

I have not found another way to Redeem other than somewhat apologizing and coming to better terms with the other person. As we're all connected and some persons are important, it's messed up if you messed up your Name with them, in this lifetime.

I know these thoughts aren't likely coming from the highest light, but sharing (writing them) does help.

We keep getting what we need, in order to evolve alpha.
If we resist, what is coming up, it just keeps us moving in a circle (the wheel of samsara).

I live with my parents and at first, we fought and I felt neglected and abandoned all over again (all my childhood conundrums).

I kept resisting that they were in my life and kept letting my anger and resentment rule my day.

It never affected them (I didn't shout at them, and so forth). It just affected me.

I had to learn to see where I was getting charged up, and begin to recognize the symptoms, as they occurred. Otherwise, they ran me.

Life is like that.

It just keeps giving us the tools to awaken ourselves, from our own internal injuries/miseries.

I realize we never get taught this, by people in our lives.
We just have to realize, that they didn't know, how important it is, to keep letting go, of our internal troubles and just begin to accept life as it comes.

Attempting to change the other person always fails.
We have to learn to pick ourselves back up, by whatever tools are at hand.

For example, you have this forum here to share your truth (in whatever form you feel comfortable with). Or asking a friend out to lunch to sit and listen to you, when this pain comes up, is another way to go.

Just don't bottle it up/complain (which just eggs the feelings on).

Instead find a way to redress (remedy) it, instead.

[alphamind]

I understand what you mean, Eileen, and it's been the tricky part to recognize when something is our own internal conflict when it comes up, and when it's appropriate to involve the people we think are involved with our anger. Of course, every "plays" at their own level or not all at all depending on their state of consciousness, but personally, I have found it is most ideal to not depend on anyone else's life force to fulfill you, but to find your own inner uniqueness and thus, strength, instead.

As you say it is always a learning process and nothing by accident. We just have to say enough and get ourselves of the Samsara circle you speak of. :)