How to let go of desire?

[CosmicWonder]

Hii Sky123,

I didn’t intend to complain or lay the blame on others. Just trying to explain what’s happening.
There is really no blame. People are trying what they can

[sky]

Originally Posted by CosmicWonder

Hii Sky123,
There is really no blame. People are trying what they can

I sincerely hope you get to a place in your Support System that makes you feel really happy and secure

[HITESH SHAH]

Originally Posted by CosmicWonder

Hii,

I’m facing a situation. I can’t find a suitable way to escape. I desire a lot. A LOT. And am constantly conscious of my desires. It disturbs me often. I can let go of resistance sometimes, but not of desire. And each time I do my desires grow. I can’t control my desires.

How do I let go of my desires? Even grief didn’t get rid of them.

Much kindness,

Cosmic Wonder

IF the desires are wholesome , then there may not be need to get rid of it though may regulate it.

If it is something not wholesome , then it does not go automatically. You need to develop love for something more powerful force say a good book , physical sports , occupational learning,healthy relationship , wholesome friends/family , dance ,meditation , prayer , deity . Only if u get any of these positive on a recurring basis and your association (physical/mental) with unhealthy desires reduces, it can be ridden off . Else it's very difficult to get rid off unhealthy wishes .

[CosmicWonder]

Whoah thanks HITESH SHAH,

Never thought of that!

Thanks Sky123.

[sentient]

Originally Posted by CosmicWonder

I think that at the moment my main desire is social support, and I don’t mean someone claiming or trying to support, no I mean someone being capable of supporting me.

This is being an unsatisfied desire for my entire life

My projection into the “problem” is that what you said above is exactly something an Aspie would say.

And IF so – I don’t think this “unsatisfied desire”, or “emotional need dependency pattern” or “wound” in other words is ever really going to go away.

We have all got our own crosses to bear – wounds that will never heal …. So, the idea I guess, is that what we most seek from others, we need to learn to give ourselves …

*

An Aspie friend of mine acting from the emotional dependency pattern - seeking possible support found that the wished support time and time again was harmful in the end.

And in the end her frustrations led her to see that the responsibility for support was her own power to claim over her own life.

So, is the “problem” a problem or is the problem a promise?

Still, it is a “Mt. Disappointment” we need to climb for those “empowering views”.

*

The one thing I would say is letting go has to be effortless. If there's effort in letting go then one should let go of letting go. I know it seems paradoxical but it isn't.

There's a "space" deep within where even letting go is merely witnessed. Witness the observer.

[sentient]

Letting go is easy if one has got ‘space/emptiness’ to latch onto – which I guess is paradoxical, since there is nothing in space/emptiness to latch onto, yet in practice mind can.

And one doesn’t have to let go of one’s desire or intent to find social support, as there is nothing wrong with that goal.

The only problem is if we start to fixate and obsess about our expectations of support from others without first learning to support ourselves.

*

[CosmicWonder]

I’m not getting into any justifications of my need for social support. Everyone needs it at some point in their lives and I do now. There is a lack of actual help while people do truly reach out and try to help. This isn’t a wrong doing, it’s just an imperfect situation. I see all the help here too. I have asked for it even. Not getting into the discussion if my need for more help is thereby justified or not.

What I’d like to focus on more other than justification, is how to let go of the need. Because seemingly I won’t get what I want/need (need to properly function in society). So I thought the advice of my guru did actually make sense now. Tune into space and just let go. This was also suggested here before this post, and it’s actually good advice. Besides that, there is a need to feel through. Like feel the lack of support before you can truly let go of it. I did this yesterday and today I’m “just letting go”. Another thing I did that might have done something, is to tune into a deity and trying to make space to love that deity and have faith and trust.

Much kindness,

Cosmic Wonder

[Gem]

We usually experience it, and most of us have the same dilemma as you described, the desire arises with some sort of need, and if we were really looking into it we'd find some dissatisfaction which the desire is part of, and the myth of noble wholesome desires as opposed to degenerate desires could have have discursive or symbolic meaning, but could be a justification for bypassing the investigation which enables us to understand the nature of desire itself, which brings me to the point, which is, it's folly to invoke an aversion toward desire and thereby getting even more manic. Understanding it, what it is, where it comes from, without notions that it shouldn't be, or that it needs to be noble - just the fact that it is, and what's the deal with that.

[CosmicWonder]

Thanks Gem!

Yes I can try a little investigation…