How to cope best?

God, just had to write something else here. It is just so frustrading. I told the chlidrens dad as I can tell he is nervous about what is to come and at the same time try to assure me nothing bad will happen and if it does he will react (still he is afraid he might miss something)...

Like WHY not - even if it is a narcissist - chose direct communication? To tell the narcissist IF you behave badly, are disrespectful - THIS will be the consequence of that action. Like black and white. This is what will be the result. You are not to determine that result. This is how we are going to respond, this is what will happen.


But Nooooo...as usual he is tip toing of the future events. I told him once I never met a family who are so lousy at open and direct communication. Just say it for Christ sake. But no. One must not upset the narcissist. I can't live like this. It's ridiculous. He's been raised to patch things up as soon as possible and at any price instead of raising his voice to object and go against the narcissist.

When I have asked him why don't you just say it like it is? but he goes no that will only make it much worse, then (the narcissist) will play the victim and it will be much harder scene to go through.

SIGH

So now neither of us can relax knowing what is up, and me not being sure if he is actually built for this now (even if he says he is).