Alcohol to numb

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

UPDATE:

Okay, so after not drinking for seven days in a row (and feeling a weird combination of fantastically grounded and healthy, and also blah and detoxy), I decided last night to celebrate my best friend moving into a new house she purchased, by sharing a nice bottle of red with her.

And that's what I did... 2.5 glasses... and then heaps of water... and much later I was able to drive home.

I do feel a bit different this morning, but much better than I would have had I binged like I normally do, and as I don't have anything else social on this weekend, I won't be drinking again until probably next friday night.

It's nice to feel more in control of it all - and it's nice to see having half a bottle of wine as a "treat" rather than seeing it as "daily self medication".

I am definitely monitoring things though - if I start creeping back into back habits, I will look at going completely dry for a while, but for the moment, I feel really strong and in control.

The healings and support and mediations have certainly helped.

Oh and talking about it too! Especially publicly like this has made it very "real" to me... no more hiding.

Thanks for reading everybody.

That great news with the 7 days! I'd have PM'ed you but I feel like if I post it publically you'll be more likely to hear my message. And you'll be hearing it from more than just one voice. If you truly are an alcoholic, moderation isn't going to ever work. This is something you'll have to work through and discover on your own though since addicts rarely ever listen till they've exhausted every way possible to keep their addiction around. You already know this I'm sure of it. It's basically not beating the addiction but just scaling back its impact on your life. Even functional alcoholics do it going from heavy drinking to scaling it back once they get to close to losing control. And this isn't just me saying this from experience this is also the statistics. Keep up the work, you'll get there.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

That great news with the 7 days! I'd have PM'ed you but I feel like if I post it publically you'll be more likely to hear my message. And you'll be hearing it from more than just one voice. If you truly are an alcoholic, moderation isn't going to ever work. This is something you'll have to work through and discover on your own though since addicts rarely ever listen till they've exhausted every way possible to keep their addiction around. You already know this I'm sure of it. It's basically not beating the addiction but just scaling back its impact on your life. Even functional alcoholics do it going from heavy drinking to scaling it back once they get to close to losing control. And this isn't just me saying this from experience this is also the statistics. Keep up the work, you'll get there.

Hey Mister,

Yes, I am aware of this. I don't believe I am a true alcoholic, I believe I am currently alcohol dependant.

I believe with every fibre of my being that I can pull back to moderation, and in fact the three readings / healings I have had over the past fortnight have confirmed the same thing - that alcohol is not a major issue for me, it's not on the cards at all.. .and it came in to help harness / assist me creatively.

I am a performer and have had to get up and "party" and sing and perform with sometimes up to a several thousand people at a show, and the drinks i've had before and during the show have helped ease anxiety and enabled me to connect with the party vibe in the room. And it did help me deal with my anxiety for a while there too. This was mainly in my 20s.

The difference now is, i've grown so much creatively and within myself, that I truly feel I don't need it anymore in that way. And it's become more of a physical habit than anything else.

Obviously if I lapse again now, in the place i'm in, I will go cold turkey, but I don't see that as a problem right now.. and neither do any of my healers / psychic readers of late.

You would have thought at least one of them would have picked it up as a serious problem if it was.

Plus that, and my recent liver test shows a liver completely above average for a 33 year old woman health wise - so I think that's probably indicating something too.

Does this all make sense BL? What do you think?

i found that when i drink too much i think/talk about it more. it doesn't really numb anything haha. my friends probably get annoyed because when i ever i have one too many i start talking about it...

BL is right here, but you are making progress. Keep us updated. Good luck. It is much easier now when you can still get out of it ALONE, than get into a situation where you need people to get you to do it. I had people literally dragging me to rehab, after i passed out at a club and everything turned really ugly, i almost got kidnapped.

Originally Posted by lennonsdoll

i found that when i drink too much i think/talk about it more. it doesn't really numb anything haha. my friends probably get annoyed because when i ever i have one too many i start talking about it...

Think / talk about what more, Lennonsdoll?

oh sorry haha, my TF.

I don't drink. Never cared for it. But we all have to start sometime.

Originally Posted by KrystalleSama

BL is right here, but you are making progress. Keep us updated. Good luck. It is much easier now when you can still get out of it ALONE, than get into a situation where you need people to get you to do it. I had people literally dragging me to rehab, after i passed out at a club and everything turned really ugly, i almost got kidnapped.

Oh wow... goodness me.

So you don't drink at all now KrystalleSama? Did you go cold turkey?

How often were you drinking, if you don't mind me asking?

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

Does this all make sense BL? What do you think?

Only you know the truth but what you just told me sounded like the ego trying to rationalize your behavor. Reread all the excuse you have. Bottom line is if alcohol wasn't an issue you wouldn't have started a thread on it nor felt good about piecing together a few days of sobriety.

Originally Posted by lennonsdoll

oh sorry haha, my TF.

Oh I see... me too.

I am much more careful these days about who I talk about that, and even just spirituality in general too. I know that it makes people who arn't connected to it all, quite uncomfortable, so I try and respect those boundaries.

Sometimes I forget though!