In need of rescue

The request to let go falls oddly on me.
She has been snatched away thus I have little to hold on to.
What I do have, the hope that she may soon contact me can not be let go.
Should she herself find a way to ask that of me then, with great pain I would try and do so. But I have to know what 'she' wants and with great respect not anyone else's opinion.

I read that back and see that some may read that as selfish. That is not my intent, but then neither of us wanted to be parted so if there is 'love' out there maybe its time it showed us some.

[NightSpirit]

Originally Posted by HalfaMan

The request to let go falls oddly on me.
She has been snatched away thus I have little to hold on to.
What I do have, the hope that she may soon contact me can not be let go.
Should she herself find a way to ask that of me then, with great pain I would try and do so. But I have to know what 'she' wants and with great respect not anyone else's opinion.

I read that back and see that some may read that as selfish. That is not my intent, but then neither of us wanted to be parted so if there is 'love' out there maybe its time it showed us some.

Mourn as you will. Love as you will. No one can tell you differently. Consider this my friend, perhaps its in your spiritual learning that this was all planned regardless of our human nature to look upon it as heart-wrenching. So you will go through the rest of your life living for her and not yourself. If that makes it all worth it then Bless you...indeed! Bless you and be mindful.

Thanks NS, that is a harsh lesson for sure and a most cruel one.
We both hated to be apart even for a day or so.
Often when I was working and my lady and her sister would arrange a day or two away at a spiritual convention etc, my wife would look forward to it greatly, on arrival I'd soon get a phone call saying she missed me and could not wait to be home!

It was the same for me, when I was training for my current job I had to move back in with mum and dad, 230 miles from my wife, of course I'd phone often and rushed back every weekend to be with her, but that was painful enough, but at least we had the phone, I so miss her lovely voice.
That was us for the short 18 years, hated to be parted.

I guess what I am after now, is that phone again, if there is an afterlife then it must be possible even if infrequently??????

[Silver]

It seems a paradox (right word maybe) that you are filled with knowing how you two lived a near perfect love life with each other, now that beautiful love is the same thing that causes pure torture, even though we all have awareness of our mortality. That 18 years thing strikes me because my mom's first husband were together for 18 years before he died of asthma, my brother (his 2nd son and my younger half brother) was killed in a car accident at 18 years of age.

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

It seems a paradox (right word maybe) that you are filled with knowing how you two lived a near perfect love life with each other, now that beautiful love is the same thing that causes pure torture, even though we all have awareness of our mortality. That 18 years thing strikes me because my mom's first husband were together for 18 years before he died of asthma, my brother (his 2nd son and my younger half brother) was killed in a car accident at 18 years of age.

Yep you are right there! also yes the numbers seem to be weird as well!

18 years together, 18 months from diagnosis to death, met in August and torn apart in August.
Her birthday was on the 26th and she died on the 26th. There are others but I am just in from work and very tired.

Sorry for your losses!

Originally Posted by HalfaMan

The request to let go falls oddly on me.
She has been snatched away thus I have little to hold on to.
What I do have, the hope that she may soon contact me can not be let go.
...

What you need to ‘let go’ of is pain or remorse about her dying. Restore your energies as she would want you to do to that place of love & JOY that the 2 of you had. Letting go will enable you to move forward instead of staying locked in the past to achieve this love & JOY. Even if the past was desirable, staying stalled in it isn’t productive. Staying stalled in the past will inhibit your being able to restore your energies to be ABLE to make contact w/ her.

It may be that she has important work to do elsewhere right now. It is likely that your work is to move past having to have her physically by your side to appreciate that SHE IS THERE FOR YOU 24/7, albeit nonphysically. Trust, Trust, Trust that this is the case. I completely understand how you would prefer to have her w/ you physically, but this is not the situation right now. Treasure what the 2 of you had.

Letting go of the painful longing for her isn’t to throw away your connection to her. The more you can shift your BEing into one of joy, of representating her energies on Earth, the more you will bring your self energetically closer to her. The more you exist in pain the further you will be from her energies.

She is likely making a constant energetic overture to you, but it is one that you will have to accept on her terms, not the ones that you are guessing about how she will make contact w/ you. Shift from looking at the more obvious means of her contacting you to subtler ones such as KNOWing you are recreating her energy. TRUST her to guide you in these subtle ways. As you acknowledge her subtler energy it will be increasingly obvious to you that it IS HER, very clearly.

Hmm, OK Mattie, I can accept letting go of the pain, yes that is not productive even if its understandable.
So I do want to let go of that, but how?
I feel pain, I really understand why 'broken hearted' is a phrase, because my heart physically feels broken, clamped up and hurts!

I do try to be open to other chances of communication from her, there are some things.
But, for about three weeks after she passed, I felt a presence here, that was so strong it made me feel a bit uncomfortable!
At the time I was in the deepest of shock, grief had not fully set in (my docs words) I did not really know what to do about the feeling! and now feel very guilty for feeling uneasy instead of embracing it.
If it could feel like that then, why can't I feel it now?
It was really strong, I'd be sitting here at the computer and there would be little clicks and shuffling sounds on the stairs, as if someone was coming up them, many times I dashed to see if someone was, checked around for insects etc, then I had the feel of someone standing and looking at me.

But now the house is just and endless silence and I feel nothing :-(

Sorry for being so needy here.

Ah,you have had some signs?
That is good.

But there are lots more than that to look for.

Listen for music your wife may have loved.

Look for the small signs that we may not notice at times.
You say you are feeling her standing beside you?
Good.

She is near to you.

There are so many stages of mourning.

Grief...... that she is not with you any more
Anger......that she has left you.
Desertion....You feel she had no right to leave you.

Always remember the spirit world is right with us.
Not based hundreds of miles away but in the same room.
She is so near to you,she is trying to comfort you.

Do you dream at all?
Sometimes they come through to us in Lucid dreaming.

deepsea

I agree to ask for her in dreams. Dreams are the easiest forms in which spirit can manipulate early on in their passings. :) Ask for dreams ! :)

[Tiss]

You surely cannot guess how I understand you,

I could add that maybe you don't remember what you dreamed BUT, if you wake up feeling an unexplainable sense of peace and renewed optimism, it means for sure that she has been with you during your dream.

I tried that and it works, so when you go to bed ask her to come with you while you sleep.

Love and light
TISS