Hello Mike, :)
Interesting date of your post.. that is the day of the winter solstice/lunar eclipse.. got the feeling you were feeling the energy of that day.. even if not
consciously
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
To my disbelief and shock I lost my wife, soul mate and best friend to cancer August 09.
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I don't mean to ruin it for you.. but death is never as shocking as we make out.. your wife's death sounds
planned.. I think on some level you knew she was leaving even if you didn't recognize it "consciously"
I didn't recognize my grandma was leaving.. but I did say it was "okay" for her to go.. weirdly I got a tarot card fortune about it.. and then it did happen
(but that's my only experience with personal death recently)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
7 months later I lost mum to the same evil disease and that to has left me empty and now lost.
Nobody to really talk to anymore.
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Let me say your not alone.. your surrounded by yourself.. every word, letter, is you.. your entire body is made of you.. and from on high your also not alone.. even if you can experience the illusion of "loneliness"
If you ever want to prove you’re not alone.. here's a simple experiment..
"say hello to the earth" and listen for the
hello that comes back.. then try..
a archangel.. michael, gabriel, whoever
then try your wife or mom.. if your careful you will
feel it.. :)
I also want to tell you that by my understanding.. a lot of us are being "alone" right now.. meaning.. we have no family or friends we can talk too.. we are losing relationships.. and some of this is on
purpose.. so we can spend time focusing on ourselves.. and making ourselves better.. getting ourselves prepared for the transition/change that is coming/occurring :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
My soul is screaming and my heart really is broken, such that I have had physical symptoms of a heart attack.
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Your soul isn't screaming.. your soul loves you unconditionally do you feel that?
No your EGO or mental body is screaming.. it says.. "I don't want to be alone".. "this is not fair".. does that feel good to you?
I don't think it does.. I would tell it
you’re not alone.. then try the experiment above
You will manifest "negative" physical symptoms if you don't BALANCE your ego.. if you want to continue in that direction you will receive
more..
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
I feel lost, so very alone and empty.
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You and everyone else.. I can say, I feel somewhat the way you do.. :)
And I don't have a "wife" I lost to blame it on ;)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
For about three weeks after she passed there was a very strong presence here! this has now gone.
There have been little signs that I could say were her.
I have had three readings and while helpful I find it too hard that the easy way we communicated is now lost to me.
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She's always around.. but if I were to "guess" your focus on that communication.. sounds more like "obsession"
Where your not living your life.. and maybe she realized it was not good for you to obsess on communicating to her.. life is about
living.. not about crying over spilled milk.. this experience is supposed to be fun, rewarding.. I'd work on that aspect if I was you.. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
I don't sleep well, have constant nightmares and think about her every moment almost.
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My teacher says that when we leave the body what we’re focusing on we come right back into.. (meaning if you went to sleep grumpy.. you wake up
grumpy)
If I were you I'd focus energy thought into clearing myself.. this is a spiritual tool he offers to do that..
Imagine a rose about 18 inches in front of you.. and give it the command to "collect me up" (it will know when it's done) when it's done.. explode it into shards of light and see your energy coming back to you..
I would do that many times a night before sleep.. you might find doing that you stop having "nightmares" and have more balanced sleep.. because your balancing yourself out before sleep (also helps during the day too
for balance)
How can I make myself more open for communication?
Be happy, be
playful.. stop making your life focus someone who's dead and can't play the physical game anymore.. (least not right now.. a new game is coming where dead people may come alive again
)
Will she be able to wait for me or will she have to progress so that when I get there she will be too far above me?
When you get there.. you will so happy and ego free this question will have little meaning.. know that you, she, I,
all are love.. :)
To answer your question a second time.. know that time is a illusion.. and we only experience it "here" know in this very second she's actually still alive.. that's because 10 years ago.. is also right now :)
Will heaven really be our heaven?
The new game on the planet is to create.. heaven on earth.. if you'd stop kicking rocks about your missing partner.. and start working on you.. you could create "heaven on earth" right here.. death is
optional :)
Will we be able to cuddle and kiss and be as we were?
Yes and no.. depends on if you choose to be "physical" which is a choice..
Will she speak and have the body I loved so well?
That's up to you and or her.. we can do anything we want too..
But you have to understand your asking this question as a human EGO.. that is
pining for the thing you no longer have.. the truth is the future is so MUCH better then we can imagine.. that's the truth! :) (I would let go of "woe is me" and focus on being happy in the now)
To put it another way.. you'll have so much fun with her.. that questions of body type is immaterial.. and all EGO
Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfaMan
Thanks dear friends for any help and guidance you can give.
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Your auto-magically welcome :)
Cheer up mike.. be easy on yourself.. try and do something fun/exciting everyday.. that's what your wife really wants for you.. if you don't believe me.. ask her yourself.. you will get the answer of yes..
I would like to share a piece of information with you about your wife.. it's my understanding to be in physical we split our soul into 11 pieces
I believe.. and your wife’s sudden death sounds like the other parts of her soul were also being pulled out.. (when 1 goes they all have to go) that's what your description sounds like.. it can result in very sudden and quick deaths for people.. hope that helps :)