Alcohol to numb

[mystical]

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

I just did this and had a big cry! Which was a lovely release... thank you, it's great advice x

your welcome , it does help but often when comes the feeling of wonderness very often follows feelings of sadness , because we believe that is what we ONCE had . and have lost . but all too often we dont see , or should i say ..REMEMBER that it still very much there ,and we STILL HAVE that feeling of wonderness if we want it . but we rely and focus far too much on the physical side of life that we dont not always acknowledge it , love is found within its not something that is external .

Originally Posted by Sarian

2 to 3 a night is too much. they say perhaps 1 glass of wine with dinner is okay. When I was 16, i drank like a fish to numb myself and at 17 or 18 I realized what I was doing and knocked it off. It's not worth it. My brother is in his late 40s now...he didn't knock it off and quite honestly, he's a worthless thing. he's not worked in 30 years. He's a leech.

Do you realize that while you think you are numbing yourself, alcohol is a depressant?

"he didn't knock it off and quite honestly, he's a worthless thing. he's not worked in 30 years. He's a leech"

^ lots of anger there, any chance you can make peace with this?

But back onto my situation - yes I do know that, I know all about it. Doesn't stop me though - I know what I have to do, I just have to actually do it, and honesty and support are the first steps I think.

[Sarian]

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

"he didn't knock it off and quite honestly, he's a worthless thing. he's not worked in 30 years. He's a leech"

^ lots of anger there, any chance you can make peace with this?

But back onto my situation - yes I do know that, I know all about it. Doesn't stop me though - I know what I have to do, I just have to actually do it, and honesty and support are the first steps I think.

No, i just cut him out of my life. He's a user and lives in his victim, poor me mentality, I have no use for that. there comes a time in everyone's life to take control. if one can't do that or doesn't want to, that's their issue, not mine. I don't have to be party to it.

As for your situation, it doesn't sound like you want to part with your drinking. When/if you are ready, you will, otherwise, you will just keep going down this path and it won't get better, it will get worse.

Some people know their problems and can announce it, and then think that's a huge step and stop there. I've seen it all too often. They get a feel good for announcing it and recognizing it, but when it comes to the hard work of actually doing something about it, then you hear nothing more.

Originally Posted by Sarian

No, i just cut him out of my life. He's a user and lives in his victim, poor me mentality, I have no use for that. there comes a time in everyone's life to take control. if one can't do that or doesn't want to, that's their issue, not mine. I don't have to be party to it.

As for your situation, it doesn't sound like you want to part with your drinking. When/if you are ready, you will, otherwise, you will just keep going down this path and it won't get better, it will get worse.

Some people know their problems and can announce it, and then think that's a huge step and stop there. I've seen it all too often. They get a feel good for announcing it and recognizing it, but when it comes to the hard work of actually doing something about it, then you hear nothing more.

Yes I agree with your last two paragraphs.

Of course I don't want to part with my drinking... otherwise I would have done it ages ago myself, without needing to really work through it all and ask for help.

But I really NEED to part with it. That's why i'm going to grab the bull by the horns this time, so to speak.

That's the beauty of forums we all come here at different stages and ages - with different issues to heal - Sarian u speak the truth that admitting it is only the first step in healing ANYTHING - doing something about it takes strength...u have the strength within you EG - that's why I said u know it's not the answer and when u are ready u will face this too xox

Originally Posted by Sarian

No, i just cut him out of my life. He's a user and lives in his victim, poor me mentality, I have no use for that. there comes a time in everyone's life to take control. if one can't do that or doesn't want to, that's their issue, not mine. I don't have to be party to it.

As for your situation, it doesn't sound like you want to part with your drinking. When/if you are ready, you will, otherwise, you will just keep going down this path and it won't get better, it will get worse.

Some people know their problems and can announce it, and then think that's a huge step and stop there. I've seen it all too often. They get a feel good for announcing it and recognizing it, but when it comes to the hard work of actually doing something about it, then you hear nothing more.

I think we might be the same person! Wow your words resonate with me- same situation and same lack of tolerance with anyone's victim mentality and a lack of tolerance for my own short lived occasional pity parties. My ex was VERY much your last paragraph. It was excruciating.

[Teal]

I had a couple of boyfriends who abused alcohol. I just don't want to be with anyone who is like this. If i had known how much my bf that is the father if my 13minth old and the one in the oven. I would never have agreed to he and i living together. I get a beer or two. But drukish. 3-4 times a week was to much. I gave an ultimatum. Us or the bottle. He's doing it less now. It still gets to me if i don't remind him he will do the alcoholic thing again. I don't see us lasting much longer.

There's a certain type if behavior that comes with that bottle of rye. Grr at rye.

Originally Posted by Loving_Soul

That's the beauty of forums we all come here at different stages and ages - with different issues to heal - Sarian u speak the truth that admitting it is only the first step in healing ANYTHING - doing something about it takes strength...u have the strength within you EG - that's why I said u know it's not the answer and when u are ready u will face this too xox

Exactly!

On ooooooown it, but very scared.

To be honest i've never even admitted it was a problem before... but something has shifted in me through this TF experience and Dark Night...

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

Exactly!

On ooooooown it, but very scared.

To be honest i've never even admitted it was a problem before... but something has shifted in me through this TF experience and Dark Night...

Yes it is a shift u feel huh - that's why I explain it as an irreversible change...a door closed because I know I will forever be different - and I feel like a million doors have flown open by closing just one..

[Nymphea]

Originally Posted by Enigmatic

This will probably apply more the Aussies, as we are the biggest drinkers in the world, next to the Irish (apparently).

I'm in Dark Night at the moment, and this forum has really helped me... plus some great friends around me... the last thing that I feel is really getting in the way of me riding it out properly is my use of alcohol to "numb" me and my feelings.

Anybody else using this as a numbing tool?

I wonder how I can pull it back?

It's only 2-3 glasses of wine per night... but that's enough really.

Just thought i'd throw this out there and see if anybody else is doing the same thing?

Hahaha, this applies very well to my TF too I guess and he's not Australian or Irish....
OMG, how I relate to this subject. My Tf uses to drink when he's in my company. He seems to need alcohol when I am around for the reason it makes him feel more relaxed and at ease. When I visit him we first have a coffee, but soon hte puts the wine bottle at the table and we have a glass of wine. I usually stop drinking after oen or two glasses but he empties the bottle and opens another one. The thing is , he gets a lot more "loose-lipped" after a couple of wines and tells me stuff right from the heart. That's the only reason I like him to drink...He nevers gets drunk in an annoying way, the alcohol doesn't seem to have an impact on him except for this. maybe because he is a frequent user? Once I was wondering if he would believe in afterlife/reincarnation and that kind of stuff. At the end of the evening when he was getting ready to go, he said that he wants to be with me in our next life! I was totally flabbergasted.

To speak for myself; I sometimes use alcohol to numb a bit when in the company of my TF. When I feel really tensed, it just takes the sharp edges away so I can act more relaxed. But I always stop after one or two glasses. On me alcohol has a reverse effect; it makes me more aware and able to see connections between my thoughts. It feels like it takes away "the veil that covers daily life", know what I mean? A little alcohol makes me able to look behind the masks people are wearing sometimes. I know exactly when to stop, and that's long before I get really drunk, which is no fun at all.