I'm done with him

I think if you are having dreams of one man and sleeping with another that perhaps this isnt paranormal but your subconscience telling you perhaps either of these men are maybe right for you.
Physical sex is great but when you find a right person and you both dream of each other and dont leave "Maybe doors" for other people to mess things up then you have something even more special and perhaps a spiritual connection. I require and expect respect from a person I am serious with. But I also do the same for that special man.
There are toxic relationships out there also some people arent ready to settle so they self sabotage a good thing.
If this man isnt treating to the way you deserve you draw a line in your mind and to this man and tell him its over I will not see you in this life time or any other because I want to be in love and allow myself to be loved 100% no exceptions.
Youll never be free of this roller coaster untill you figure this out for yourself imo.

[mystical]

occultist ....Believe in me or not I will still exist. what a cool signature :)

Originally Posted by Occultist

Physical sex is great but when you find a right person and you both dream of each other and dont leave "Maybe doors" for other people to mess things up then you have something even more special and perhaps a spiritual connection.

I disagree. People leave "maybe" doors open all the time espeically when the choice is very difficult. One reason would be your insecure and afraid of losing someone that means a great deal to you while also proving the love you aren't providing for yourself. Also if you meet your TF while married or while in a relationship that was really good how could you not leave "maybe" doors open till you resolve your current relationship? If in fact you found your tf your feelings for your TF will never go away so if you were in love already with someone with tons of history by default you're going to leave "maybe' door open due to your inability to decide and be willing to give up something that wasn't bad at all but actually pretty damn good. I look at it as if you and your family were held captive by a terrorist and he made you choice between your wife and your kid in regards to which one you would let live. Just like with 2 relationships you need to kill of 1 of them off to pursue the other with your full heart so are you really saying you wouldn't feel the conflict in making that decission and would just allow the one you love less to die first? What if you love them both equally but for different reasons? Can you not see the conflict that would create?

[aero87]

Occultist it's not that simple. I have cut him out of my life and still he persists. Even if he himself doesn't contact me, he shows up in my dreams, or a song comes on that reminds me of him, or I'll get a whiff of the cologne he always wears. I cannot for the life of me forget or get away from him. I moved to another country and he still haunts me from so far away. And of course he's not treating me good, I'm still waffling over whether or not to go back with him. And the longer I do that, the more he pulls away and then I get discouraged and pull away and we're back to square one.

If it were up to me we'd have met living in the same city. Everything would've been so much easier that way. But maybe that's why we met the way we did, maybe it was a test for us and things weren't meant to be easy. The thing is I know the reward of us would be great in the end, but so is the risk to get there and him and I have never been on the same page at the same time to successfully get that far.

Originally Posted by BeautifulLife

I disagree. People leave "maybe" doors open all the time espeically when the choice is very difficult. One reason would be your insecure and afraid of losing someone that means a great deal to you while also proving the love you aren't providing for yourself. Also if you meet your TF while married or while in a relationship that was really good how could you not leave "maybe" doors open till you resolve your current relationship? If in fact you found your tf your feelings for your TF will never go away so if you were in love already with someone with tons of history by default you're going to leave "maybe' door open due to your inability to decide and be willing to give up something that wasn't bad at all but actually pretty damn good. I look at it as if you and your family were held captive by a terrorist and he made you choice between your wife and your kid in regards to which one you would let live. Just like with 2 relationships you need to kill of 1 of them off to pursue the other with your full heart so are you really saying you wouldn't feel the conflict in making that decission and would just allow the one you love less to die first? What if you love them both equally but for different reasons? Can you not see the conflict that would create?

If you buy into the be here now, and the non-attachment ideas, then if you follow the dotted line out, the logical and the heart-centered response is to love both. Polyamory. And if one person has a problem with that and wants exclusivity, it's their problem.

As for the murder scenario with kids vs spouse, there's always taking the bullet yourself, so none of your loved ones die. If you believe we live on after this life, then there should be no problem at all taking that bullet.

Right?

"where my head and heart goes as it spins around and around and around"

Originally Posted by aero87

I don't think I'm confused, but I am conflicted with emotions. I mean yes on the one hand I want him back and I'd love to be with him again. But on the other hand I don't want the drama of being with him. And no I can't just cut the ties and be with my boyfriend. There is something between us that I don't believe can be severed, and it goes beyond anything that can be fully understood in this physical world. I can't drop him, I've been trying to do that for going on three years now. And it's not about the attention, it's about who he is on a spiritual level. All of his "I don't care about you" stuff is just a facade, one that I've learned to see through. You know the first time he told me that he begged for me back about a week later. The second time he spent almost $1,000 dollars to come see me for a week. So I know it's a lie, a lie that he keeps hiding behind because he's afraid to face the fact that deep down he knows we should be together. I've learned to embrace it and deal with it and I'm doing fine. He's the one who's still screwed up because he's fighting something that will win out in the long run, even if it's not in this life.

Sounds to me like you are enjoying the attention, so much so that you are willing to believe anything. I would say that you do not truely love your new boyfriend because you are continually comparing him to this nut job.

Spending 1k on you doesn't mean he loves you, just means he will do anything to get in your pants. Sounds more like this guy tries to groom you, but can never fully go through with it, either that or you are simply living in denial. You can never truely know that he is hiding behind a facade. Something I like to say to ppl is whatever you say about someone else you are actually saying about yourself.
Maybe you are hiding behind this facade, and that you love him more than he loves you. He sees you as an object for sex and not love, I haven't seen any evidence of love yet, just sex and drama.
But what do I know.

[mystical]

Originally Posted by aero87

Occultist it's not that simple. I have cut him out of my life and still he persists. Even if he himself doesn't contact me, he shows up in my dreams, or a song comes on that reminds me of him, or I'll get a whiff of the cologne he always wears. I cannot for the life of me forget or get away from him. I moved to another country and he still haunts me from so far away. And of course he's not treating me good, I'm still waffling over whether or not to go back with him. And the longer I do that, the more he pulls away and then I get discouraged and pull away and we're back to square one.

If it were up to me we'd have met living in the same city. Everything would've been so much easier that way. But maybe that's why we met the way we did, maybe it was a test for us and things weren't meant to be easy. The thing is I know the reward of us would be great in the end, but so is the risk to get there and him and I have never been on the same page at the same time to successfully get that far.

thats all happening because your soul is acknowledgin this connetcion , u ha dmade an agreement when u came here that you would meet with your twin and do the work neccersary , its all in your contract , the more you try and run from thsi the more it will haunt you , but by running from him and cutting him off your running from yourself , this will get harder and harder the more u do this until u finally accept this connection and the lessons involved x

[mystical]

Originally Posted by aero87
I don't think I'm confused, but I am conflicted with emotions. I mean yes on the one hand I want him back and I'd love to be with him again. But on the other hand I don't want the drama of being with him. And no I can't just cut the ties and be with my boyfriend. There is something between us that I don't believe can be severed, and it goes beyond anything that can be fully understood in this physical world. I can't drop him, I've been trying to do that for going on three years now. And it's not about the attention, it's about who he is on a spiritual level. All of his "I don't care about you" stuff is just a facade, one that I've learned to see through. You know the first time he told me that he begged for me back about a week later. The second time he spent almost $1,000 dollars to come see me for a week. So I know it's a lie, a lie that he keeps hiding behind because he's afraid to face the fact that deep down he knows we should be together. I've learned to embrace it and deal with it and I'm doing fine. He's the one who's still screwed up because he's fighting something that will win out in the long run, even if it's not in this life.

lol do u not see whats happening here , ...... your doing the exact same as he , you cant handle itno more , just like he cant . you hate the fact he keeps runnign and cant make up his mind , and your doing the same lol , he is just showing you who u are , if you want him to be honest and face you then be honest and face YOURSELF , let go of this rope , its liek a tug of war your both pulling at , but the battle is with oneself not with each other , he will always be this way until u do the work u are suppose to do xxxx

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

As for the murder scenario with kids vs spouse, there's always taking the bullet yourself, so none of your loved ones die. If you believe we live on after this life, then there should be no problem at all taking that bullet.

Right?

"where my head and heart goes as it spins around and around and around"

We'd all take the bullet ourselves but that wan't one of the options I presented. My therapist last month tried something with me where he flipped a coin and associated heads to my wife and tails to my TF and said just for fun lets see which ones the universe is saying you're supposed to be with. He than flipped the coin and before showing me the result he asked me which one I was hoping it would be. I had no answer for him and just sat their quietly, which is really where I've been at for the past 5yrs. Not knowing which one I'd rather be with because I love them both for completely different reasons and would be happy with both of them if I didn't feel the confliction for the other. This was my senario I was trying to present to those that aren't in my situation with having to choose which loved one you'd allow to die. In my case I wouldn't give an answer to the terrorist even if he killed both of them as well as me in the process due to my indecission.

I know in my situation the other person isn't really dying if I don't choose them and can actually live a very happy life without me in it. My ego just tells me that nobody can make them as happy as I can and that by choosing one I'm basically robbing the other of a more fullfilling life. Especially if I dont' choose my twin who I honestly think I could have if I was willing to give her my full attention and "kill" off my current relationship. It's almost like I want to choose the one I see having the less fullfillinig life if I'm not with them and to be honest I feel like thats my twin right now.

double post, damn lag.